Vegas, Baby!

By Kris Conesa

Kris Conesa gets a lap dance from a really hot chick in Vegas.

Well, let me just say, I’m feeling pretty refreshed. Reinvigorated, if you will. Who would have thought that I would have to go all the way to Vegas just to get a little me time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Las Vegas is like Disney World for degenerates. Still, it’s no wonder I found it so relaxing. In a recent Maxim magazine story, Miami was given top honors when it came to the category of best party city. Yay! We’re number one. Go Team! Nevertheless, Sin City came in a close second. So, even though the city in the desert never sleeps and the neon lights shine 24/7, it was still a lot less hectic than your typical Saturday night in Miami. However, that’s probably just due to the fact that there are so many Miami party personalities manning the Vegas Velvet Ropes these days. They must all still be on Eastern Standard Time, because by 4 a.m. those of us on EST were ready to call it a night. I’m not kidding either when I say that Miami is well-represented in the desert, people. It’s no wonder Vegas rules.

Oh, and it’s pretty easy to pick out the 305ers. My sure-fire method was to look for anybody kickin’ white Adidas, jeans, some sort of tribal print collarless shirt and the obligatory pimpin’ sports jacket. There were plenty of us, too. We mostly kicked it at the Opium Group’s Privé LV, where Empire Events masterminds Justine Levine and Joey Firestone were holding court. I’ve got to give it up to the Opium Group: The place looks badass, and, even in the desert, the line outside the door, or escalator in this instance, was ridiculous. Kickin’ it at the VIP table were none other than Miami native and Ocean Drive magazine Contributing Editor Humberto Guida, homeboy and L.A. producer Luis Seda and model/socialite extraordinaire Kelli Nicole. Oh, and believe it or not, my favorite Goldrush lap dancer was also there sippin’ on Grey Goose and cranberry.

Another Vegas connection was that of Pure nightclub at Caesar’s Palace, which is sure to be a welcome addition to the Miami scene when it opens its doors at the Fontainebleau this summer. We already know it’s going to fit right in this sunny town of shady people. Just recently, the IRS, which is apparently investigating it for tax evasion charges, raided the club. At least one member of the management staff’s home also was searched. Tax evasion and nightclubs — what could be more Miami?

Bankin’

As happy as I was to randomly reunite with Miami personalities in Vegas, it was also important to hang out with some of the locals. At The Bank, Leo DiCaprio's favorite Vegas hot spot located inside the famous Bellagio hotel, the hottest nightclub general manager I have ever met, Jodi Myers, greeted my Miami crew and me. She, in turn, introduced us to her not-related identical twin, Jenn Madden, who escorted us in and poured us more shots than any one person should be legally allowed to consume. The service at this place was amazing and it was the first time in my life a bathroom attendant greeted me with a smile and the words, “Have a great pee!”

Reality Check

Seems these days you can’t own a nightclub without documenting your trials and tribulations for prosperity. This last weekend, The Opium Group’s Roman Jones was spotted on his yacht with a bevy of scantly clad bikini lovelies and promoter Lyndon Smith. That alone would be nothing out of the ordinary, but the camera crew following them around sparked my interest. Turns out the boys are filming a new reality show. I didn’t get a chance to peruse the footage, but I hope they make sure to capture the scope of Jones’ generosity on camera.

“He never talks. He just appears. Sometimes, we will be at Nobu. There will be like 10 of us and no one even sees him until the check comes and he pays for it,” said one of the scantily clad lady diners about Jones.

Still, he’s not the only one trying to break it into the Real World. Lance Tinkler and Lee Lyon, owners of B.E.D. nightclub, have already filmed and cut their entry into the reality genre. I did get to enjoy a private screening of The Boys of B.E.D., and I have to say I liked what I saw. Think Miami Ink meets Entourage. Complete with helicopter shots of Miami, wicked shots of the Boys skiing down the slopes while on vacation and Goodfellas-style narration by Tinkler.  It’s still too early to say if either show will get picked up, but the ladder is already in negotiations with a major cable network that shall remain nameless until the ink dries.

Spotted:

Greasy bear Brandon Davis at Set on Thursday.
Governor Charlie Crist, whose name has been tossed around as a possible running mate for John McCain, at Club Nikki on Saturday.

Cuba Gooding Jr. at Rokbar drinking Heinekens on Saturday till 3 a.m.

Demi Moore, Kate Hudson and Marisa Tomei at Casa Tua on Saturday night.

Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston at Nobu on Saturday.

A dancing Drew Barrymore at The Florida Room on Friday.

Producer Jerry Bruckheimer at The Shore Club on Saturday night.