Smokin' Screen

By Kris Conesa

Maybe it was the smoke-filled skies that made this last weekend a humdrum shade of gray, but it seemed like everywhere you went not much was happening. I’d venture to say the season is finally over, but I’d be wrong. This weekend will undoubtedly be evidence of that as a bevy of celebrities make their way down to the dirty south to attend a myriad of events. That golden shower golden girl, Kim Kardashian, will be hosting at Cameo on Friday night, and at press time Paris Hilton is supposedly slated to host the Bullrun Rally party at Casa Casuarina on Thursday. Admittedly, I’m more interested in spotting Myspace top friend Tila Tequila, who is scheduled to make an appearance at the old Versace mansion as well. Then, of course, there’s Michael Capponi’s birthday bashtravaganza on Saturday, which promises to be a lavish Venetian Masquerade Ball with all the trimmings. The after-party will naturally be held at Mansion, where acrobatic high jinks will take place to the sounds of house music and minstrels. Huh, minstrels? Whatever. That’s all coming up this week. Here’s what was noteworthy last week.

Mother’s Night

Having had to contend with a desolate selection of the opposite sex at the all-male Catholic school where I attended both junior and senior high, I’m no stranger to terms like MILF, an acronym for mom I’d like to f---. As a matter of fact, I, for a long time, actually believed the term was first coined behind those hallowed halls of Jesuit education to describe Mrs. Hernandez, the mother of one of my school chums. Sorry, Luis, but let’s face it, your mom was hot!

This last week being Mother’s Day weekend and all, I suppose it was only appropriate that Cameo played host to the super-hot MILFs from MILPHworld.com on Friday night. Now, unlike the atrocities uttered at the giant men’s locker room we called high school, these moms are a lot less crass. So what’s a MILPH? The term stands for Mothers in Life, Passion and Health, and this PG-13 Web site is the brainchild of 35-year-old Amy Deming, a model slash actress and mother of three. Men who log on (pardon the pun) will find scantily clad sexy mommas modeling everything from lingerie to casual wear. There’s also a section for the obligatory celebrity MILPH as well. This week’s featured celeb mommy is Baywatch actress Angelica Bridges, who has also appeared on Days of Our Lives and The Bold and the Beautiful. Aside from ordering calendars, videos and other merchandise, those who sign on can vote for their favorite MILPH of the month and even submit their own mother as a potential candidate.

I guess the only thing left to ask is: Who’s watching the kids when mom is dancing on a stripper pole at 3 in the morning at Vice?

Thursday Is the New Friday

Like my little sister, whom I recently caught dancing atop a speaker at Set, I have never had much affection for the club formerly known as State. It always seems so stuffy and filled with old fuddy-duddies taking themselves way too seriously for my taste. That’s unless it’s Thursday night, of course. That’s when that super-cool, talentless but connected mastermind Jochy Ortiz throws what has quickly become one of the hottest parties on South Beach, Rotten Apple.

“It’s like Privé used to be. It’s so much fun. They play everything and the things they do with the lights are just off the chain. It’s a real good party, man, real good,” said professional jai-alai player Homero Rivero, who was scouting locations for his upcoming bachelor party. He’s not the only one who thinks so.

On any given Thursday, patrons can find some random celebrity just laying back and chilling in the Trophy Room. That includes Jamie Foxx, Ryan Gosling, the Wayans brothers and countless others — not half-bad for a burgeoning weekly party that finds the crowd waiting to get in steadily increasing week after week. Way to go Jochy. We’re impressed, kudos.

Balearic Beats

As a former resident of the Balearic Isles, namely Puerto Alcudia, Mallorca, which is just a stone’s throw and a ferry ride away from that international mecca of house music, Ibiza, I was delighted to attend a new party at The Forge called Cima on Saturday night. The irrepressible Shareef Malnik, Maxwell Blandford, Juan Carlos Perez and Neo brought some more European flavor to the beach with the international beats of DJ Tam, who was spinning the soundtrack to every piece of euro-trash’s night life.

Spotted

* Playboy Playmates Laurie Fetter, Courtney Culkin, Stephanie Glasson, Hiromi Oshima and Heather Kozar getting their sexy on at dek23 on Friday night.

*Hulk Hogan, Miami Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown and White Boy from VH1’s “I Love New York,” separately at The Forge on Sunday.

*Jesse Metcalf on step 13 of his 12-step program on Friday night at Set.

*America Ferrera at the Shore Club on Friday.

*MSTRKRFT, having all sorts of issues acquiring a visa to enter Brazil and getting stranded in the MIA, giving an impromptu performance at Rok Bar on Tuesday.

Send news items to the411@miamisunpost.com

 

Antonio Banderas Antonio Banderas. Photo by Johnny Louis/JLN Photography During a recent Miami press day for Shrek the Third, Antonio Banderas radiated an ethereal confidence suggesting both “movie star” and humility. He’s also quite eloquent and mild-mannered, so it’s a bit unusual to hear him talk about finding his inner cat. “It’s freaky to see a cat behave like yourself,” Banderas said of his character Puss in Boots, the animated franchise’s feisty feline who’s small in stature but big on ego. “There’s a camera on us recording every movement we make as we record the voice. That material is given to the animators so they can imitate our body language in the characters.” More daunting than seeing himself as a cat was finding Puss’ voice. “When I did Shrek 2, I was on Broadway doing Nine and had to sing 14 songs in eight performances a week,” Banderas said. “So I didn’t talk. I had a board to communicate with people, because otherwise I’d lose my voice. Well, hairball. I was in the recording studio for two hours (makes coughing noises) trying to get it right. So how did I create the voice? With a lot of care,” he joked. “The initial idea was to do a voice for Puss that fit the body — something small,” Banderas continued. “And I said, ‘No, no, no: Let’s go in the opposite direction. Let’s provide him with a voice that is actually not coming out of his body, like Puss never had the opportunity to look at himself in the mirror and thinks he’s 6 feet tall.’” In Shrek the Third, Banderas and his fellow cast mates had roughly eight or nine recording sessions over the last two years in which they were encouraged to improvise and create their characters in collaboration with directors Chris Miller and Raman Hui. None of the actors were ever in the studio at the same time. Banderas said the plan is to make five Shrek movies, with a spin-off in between the fourth and fifth films entitled Puss in Boots: The Story of an Ogre Killer, which will explain “why Puss became what he became,” Banderas said with a smile. There’s also Shrek the Halls coming this December, a television special in which Shrek will learn the meaning of Christmas. And through it all, undoubtedly, Banderas himself will remain one cool cat. — Dan Hudak Comments? E-mail dhudak22@yahoo.com.