Everything’s Irie

By Kris Conesa

He’s got his name on a shoe, and this last week DJ Irie’s name was the buzz of South Beach. The official DJ of the Miami Heat, along with some of the social elite, kicked off the weekend-long festivities a little early with a dinner at The Forge and some A-list partying at Glass on Wednesday night. Hosting the event was superfreak Dennis Rodman, who upon exiting the premises attempted to hit on a sexy blond passerby. How did she respond to his advances? Well, her exact words were, “Get out of my way you fucking asshole!”

Pretty embarrassing, but nowhere near as ridiculous as OJ Simpson’s departure from the celebrations. The Juice, who obviously partook in way too much of the Jesus juice, was incoherent and mumbling unintelligible words of support for Paris Hilton as he got into his vehicle and was driven away. If I were her, I’d be worried. We know he’s got a thing for blondes and his relationships usually don’t end very well.

As for the birthday boy, he took to the decks for about an hour and then sat down at owner Shareef Malnik’s table, where he ate lobster and chatted with other guests
Maxwell Blandford, Antonio Misuraca and the formidable Michael Capponi.

The event at the Forge was merely the pre-party. The official start took place on Friday night at Cameo where Jamie Foxx, along with the vice president of Deutsche Bank, David Sugarman, kicked off the DJ Irie Weekend with yet another bash. On Saturday, somehow managing to wake up after all that partying, DJ Irie and a slew of celebrities took part in a golf tournament at the Miami Beach Golf Course. The charitable event, now in its third year, aimed to raise money for the Miami Heat’s Charitable Fund.

And in This corner…

Backyard brawler and Miami local Kimbo Slice climbed out of the ghetto and on to TV screens across the world when the street fighter made famous by the YouTube generation entered the ring to beat the living shit out of former heavyweight champion Ray Mercer on Saturday night. The thuggish Miami bad boy, known for taking on some of the city’s toughest bouncers and gangstas, took out his gold medal-winning opponent in the first round of the mixed martial arts mash-up, winning via a guillotine choke hold. If you’ve never seen Slice in action and have the stomach for brutality at its raw blood-soaked finest, you should check out some of his fights, which are readily available on the Internet. Take heed, though, his bouts, which rarely last more than a couple of seconds and are normally bare-fisted bloodbaths, are not for the weak of heart, or stomach.

Get to the Get-Together

Everyone knows you don’t talk politics or religion at a bar. You wouldn’t be able to hear anybody if you were at a nightclub, so the same goes double there. I took a partial leave of that sort of environment this week. Not because I planned it, but rather because forces beyond my control, let alone my understanding, conspired to have it that way. Instead, I spent the time getting inebriated beyond any socially acceptable levels among the company of friends, old and new, in the seclusion afforded when you party at a private residence. Oh, yes, I’m talking about the Get Together. What is, in my humble estimation, the ultimate VIP section. For those who weren’t popular enough to ever get invited to a get together, it’s sort of akin to a party, but on a much smaller level. It’s usually a group of about two or three good friends who each know one or two other friends, yet have never all hung out collectively. Like a six degrees of separation kind of thing where everyone is connected, regardless of whether they are even aware of it. The cool thing about get-togethers is that they are mostly spontaneous, casual events. It’s funny how they work. One minute you’re downloading porn alone in your house with absolutely no intention of going anywhere and the next you’re surrounded by a bunch of people getting fucked up and pontificating on life, the universe and everything.

I only mention this because somewhere between the host taking a pair of pliers to one of his guest’s testicles and some other random drop-by threatening to break said host’s face for completely unrelated reasons, I’m pretty sure some of the intellectual discourse led us to arrive at a plethora of solutions to most of the world’s problems. Next time I’ll be sure to bring my tape recorder.

Spotted

*BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) Brooke Hogan at DJ Irie’s birthday party at The Forge also in attendance were Dwyane Wade, Shaquille O’Neal, Alonzo Mourning, pro WWE wrestler The Big Show and Buffalo Bills center Melvin Fowler.

*Janet Jackson, in our fair city to record a new album, in the lobby of Acqualina Friday.

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