Beyoncé visits Versailles. File photo

It wasn’t so long ago that wearing flannel and playing guitar was synonymous with James Dean or Arthur Fonzarelli. In other words, it was freakin’ cool. That, however, was more than 10 years ago, and like anything that brings in tons of cash, there were an elite few who attempted, however feebly, to mass produce rock ’n’ roll, thus significantly lowering the level of originality and creativity that are, in actuality, the foundation of all things cool. This is a concept that was seemingly lost on the record companies who instead offered music lovers a happy meal helping of trash consisting of fast food-style McRock. To prove this, one need only listen to Nickelback or any other group of that ilk. As always, though, the people prevailed and as rock became cheesier and cheesier, Stratocasters gave way to turntables, and those music lovers who found themselves in an endless void of original thought simply focused their attention on the more intellectually stimulating electronic rhythms put forth by their favorite DJ.

Then something amazing happened. Very much like the circle of life, the circle of fifths or human history, music too repeats itself and each time it finds a new incarnation, it does so by amalgamating and adapting. The result of this musical melting pot is a beat-driven sound peppered with rock that seamlessly melds the likes of Kurt Cobain, Billy Idol or The Cure with an electronic groove that is both old and new and most important — totally fun.

In Miami, this somewhat new phenomenon is being pioneered by an intimate clique of DJs, not the least of whom is Ryan Evans. One of the Revolver DJs for five years, Evans is an L.A. transplant whose turntable stylings of dance rock pontifications are so infectious you might want to stock up on Valtrex before you go check him out. Evans, who has also spun alongside the likes of superstars like Steve Aoki and others, will be on the ones and twos at the VIP premiere of the new weekly party, Retro, at O Asian Grill (formerly Rumi) this Saturday.

B.E.D. Sore

In clubland, one should never believe the hyperbolic musings of those silver-tongued devils known as promoters. If they tell you they have free drinks for you, make sure you bring your wallet anyway, and if they tell you they have it on good authority that the Opium Group has bought out B.E.D., well, that’s most likely a bunch of hooey too. Unfortunately, I’m really bad at taking my own advice. Though at first they would neither confirm nor deny reports that the Opium Group had purchased B.E.D., this week the Group’s PR maven, Vanessa Menkes, did indeed deny any intention to purchase the smelly mattress in an interview with my counterpart at the Miami Herald. The monopoly game continues, however, as Menkes did admit the group was actively scouting the Big Apple for yet another cookie-cutter Mansion.

Trick Luvs Da Kids

There are things that happen in this city that, honestly, just leave me flabbergasted. Such was the case when I opened a press release with the prestigious Mayoral seal right at the top. Upon further reading, I learned that our fair city along with the parks department had partnered up with none other than T double D. That’s right, Trick Daddy and his Trick Luvs Da Kids Foundation plan to provide all sorts of free back-to-school supplies at Elizabeth Virrick Park (3255 Plaza St.) on Saturday from 1 to 4 p.m. Now I’m all for a good cause, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that it’s hard to picture the civic-minded thug partnering with, well, the man. I can’t help but wonder if Mayor Diaz has ever taken the time to jam out to Trick’s music. In case he hasn’t, let me leave you with a sampling of one of my favorite songs, “I’m a Thug.” It goes a little something like this: “On the run Got 10 years on parole/Since you can’t say it dog/ I’m a say it for ya’ll/ Motherfuck the po-po’s/ Fuck the judges and CO’s/Fuck the DA and PO’s/Fuck the family of the victim/Witnesses, them snitchin’ ass hoes.” Oh yes, it’s wholesome entertainment at its finest, and any political leader should be thrilled at a prospect of teaming up with T Daddy Dollars. But should children really be getting gifts from a man who says, “And hey, I ride with my AK/Get high and spit fire from the AK?”

Spotted

*A reserved Sean Penn having dinner at Table 8 on Friday and then chilling having some drinks at The Shore Club on Saturday.

*Beyoncé and Jay-Z taking in some of the cultural flavors. The two were seen having dinner at Versailles Monday night.

*Janet Jackson having dinner and chatting with drag queen Elaine Lancaster at The Forge last Wednesday.

*Scott Storch throwing a party last Saturday to celebrate the release of the August issue of Playboy with that month’s playmate DJ Tamara Sky at Chakra Asian Cuisine & Lounge on Ocean Drive. Among those who showed, according to sources: Janet Jackson, Robin Thicke, Fat Joe, Huey Dunbar, R. Kelly, Big D and Eriq LaSalle (former ER doc).

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