Rick Ross and Webbie show some love for charity.

LiLo and the

In-Laws

By Kris Conesa

In the immortal words of Lindsay Lohan upon entering rehab, “I’m back.” That’s right. This information operator was lying low through these lazy hazy days of summer, but has since been called back into active duty by the beckoning feminine wiles of a 31-year-old lesbian DJ and her 22-year-old celebrity consort. Yes, my fellow celebristalkers, you guessed it: I’m talking about Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan, both of whom were in town last week on what’s being described as a Ronson family vacation.

Now, there are some who would doubt the veracity of this tabloid relationship between the Mean Girls starlet and the DJ sister of famous DJ and producer Mark Ronson. To those who are wary of the Lindsay Lohan lipstick lovin’ and claim it’s all some sort of elaborate publicity ruse, I need only ask: Do not irrational fits of jealousy followed by public displays of affection sum up your last relationship?

Well, if we were to apply that same logic to the whole Li-Ro affair, I think it would be safe to say these two are in love. Just examine Exhibit A, which occurred Monday of last week when the couple approached the Rose Bar at the Delano Hotel. Sitting at the bar was this guy who evidently wanted to show off in front of a group of nearby friends. Within earshot of Ms. Ronson, he uttered something to the effect of, “Hey guys, check it out, I’m going to hook up with Lindsay Lohan tonight!”

When Ronson heard that, she was none too pleased and instantly got in the guy’s face — as any chivalrous lover would do to protect the good name of his/her maiden.

Somewhat shocked but laughing, the guy responded by telling the bartender to “call security on this crazy bitch.”

The bartender, on the other hand, recognized his meal ticket (aka the celebrities) and quickly calmed the man down by explaining that if he called security they would promptly escort him out — definitely not her.

Consider Exhibit B, which consists of a series of gastronomical affairs within the Ronson family.  On Tuesday of last week the couple lunched at Balans on Lincoln Road with several branches of the Ronson family tree. According to Jane Choi, a Balans manager, “Lindsay Lohan was here for a light lunch … with a group of about six or so. She was very nice to everyone.”

That evening the group was spotted at Macaluso’s on Alton Road, where Lindsay again dined with the in-laws, before hitting up The Florida Room. Again, doesn’t putting up with dinner with the in-laws remind you of your last relationship? I know it does me, but if you’re still not convinced, Exhibit C will make you a believer.

At the very least, the visual of Lohan kissing another woman should make you feel dirty, as if you’d just finished watching it on Skinamax or something. Yeah, they kissed in public, and it was hot. The lovin’ took place on Ronson’s birthday — which we had hoped would take place in our fair city — but in fact was celebrated in LA’s Crown Bar, where Ronson was spinning. The pair was seen getting cozy in the DJ booth on Thursday night, and at midnight Lindsay reportedly brought out a birthday cake and planted a long, sexy, wet one on Sam’s lips. Case closed.

Obama, Ben, Jen and Baby

In other celebrity gossip news, a very pregnant Jennifer Garner and husband Ben Affleck, along with Matt Damon, hosted an Obama fundraiser at Set on Aug. 2. It was pretty funny to see the velvet ropes, which are usually manned by guys in suits, get replaced by guys best described as suits.

Still, it was not so amusing to see Ben Affleck treat his Alias wifey in such a cold and distant manner. Word around the tabloid campfire is that Affleck is drinking and gambling again despite his wife’s obvious baby bump. Perhaps that’s the reason for what appeared to be some heavy-duty strife in the would-be Kennedy’s relationship.

We’re watching you, Affleck. You better straighten up and fly right, or we’ll sic Victor Garber on you.

Spotted

The boss Rick Ross and his entourage arrived at B.E.D. for his Bombay Sapphire-sponsored official after-party. After dancing and lounging around on the beds, Ross surprised the packed house with an impromptu performance of almost all of his hits: He jumped on a bed in the center of the club and rapped for about 45 minutes while his fans pretended to be background singers.

Also showing support at the Rick Ross Charities event were Udonis Haslem, Whiteboy from VH1’s I Love New York and Mr. I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. himself, Webbie.

Alonzo Mourning dining at Ruth Chris on Monday.