Steve Almond: best-selling author and decidedly not asked. Photo by Erin Almond

Here’s what you don’t need to know:

Steve Almond is not the skunk ape, he is not Nostradamus and he is not Jack the Ripper (so far as we know anyway). He does not party with Paris, run with O.J., break bread with that mad man from Hell’s Kitchen or star in a sitcom with Charlie Sheen (though all would benefit from his company). He is not the Next Big Thing, the Great White Hope, the Who What Where, the Be-All to End All Be-Ins. He is not your father’s Oldsmobile.

You don’t need to know that he no longer lives in Miami and now calls Boston his home or that, if a recent write-up in Dig! is any indication, he is not one of Beantown’s most favored residents. (Which, by the way, not only is a plus for us; it’s why we won’t hold the move against him.)

You also don’t need to know that he is a husband and a father who gets more than a mite cranky from time to time.

Why?

‘Cause Steve’s gonna tell you all those things anyway.

In (Not That You Asked): Rants, Exploits and Obsessions (Random House, $21.95), the ace-holding wordslinger may not tell you what’s in his hand, but he sure as hell will tell you what’s on his mind, no matter how hard it might be to hear. Like the pining stories in My Life in Heavy Metal, the chocoholic confessions behind Candyfreak, the stainy twain meet-up of Which Brings Me to You, Almond asks not for whom the bell tolls, he answers to his own ring-a-ding-ding.

It’s a refreshing resound, too, that signals the end of school and the beginning of living a life observed. And even if you don’t always agree with Steve’s beliefs (though we don’t see why you wouldn’t), you’ll undoubtedly concur with his courage. After all, how many other cats do you know who’ll get in your face and tell you what they’re thinkin’ regardless of whether you need to know it or not?

So there.

Steve Almond reads from (Not That You Asked) at 8 p.m. Tuesday at Books & Books, 265 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables. For more information, call 305-442-4408.