Points North

Golden Beach Mysteries

I’d be happy to attend a meeting of the Sunny Isles Suicide Club, as a guest speaker. I’d tell them that there are alternative ways to die, if that’s what they’re set on doing.

By Gail Graham
Columnist

Sunny Isles Suicide Club

I’ve been trying to get more information about the Sunny Isles Suicide Club. (That may not be its name, but keep reading.) Although I’ve never actually attended a club meeting, I see members of this club every day, on Collins Avenue in Sunny Isles. They’re predominantly male, mostly on the far side of sixty, and they wear baggy Bermuda shorts and white, floppy cloth sun hats. However, a few couples also seem to be joint members of this club.

You’ll spot them standing singly, or hand in hand, at clearly marked pedestrian crossings, patiently watching and waiting until the little green man turns into a flashing red hand. They don’t look as if they’re in a hurry to go anywhere. But as soon as the lights change and the first cars begin to move forward, they step off the curb and into the moving
traffic. They look neither to the right or the left. They do not flinch. They do not hesitate. Their faces are as calm and serene as if they were strolling in their own garden. Oblivious to shouts, screeching tires and hooting horns, they simply walk through six lanes of traffic, and amazingly, they always seem to make it to the other side of the street.

In Australia, these guys would be road kill. Squish. End of story.  Surprisingly, drivers are more courteous here, and I suppose that’s why the members of the Suicide Club have to keep trying harder. The thing is, sooner or later one of them is going to succeed. I know that pedestrians have the right of way, but drivers have rights, too. And most drivers tend to assume that a green light indicates that it is safe to proceed. For reasons known only to themselves, these people seem to be going to great pains to court a nasty, messy death. And when the inevitable happens, who will be blamed? The driver, probably.

I’d be happy to attend a meeting of the Sunny Isles Suicide Club, as a guest speaker. I’d tell them that there are alternative ways to die, if that’s what they’re set on doing. (I seem to remember that someone wrote a book called Final Exit, but it was banned in Australia so I've never actually seen a copy) But I’d also tell them that it is unfair to implicate other, innocent people in their demise – and that pedestrians have responsibilities, as well as rights.

Golden Beach Continues to Grumble

Yes, I know. Some of you are most definitely not happy. You’re not happy that former Town Manager James Vardalis is going to receive an award for his service to Golden Beach. And Councilman Stanley Feinman in particular is not happy about what he calls Mayor Michael Addicott’s and Vardalis’ “violation of their fiduciary responsibilities,” which took place, he claims, “while the majority of the council and town attorney stood idly by.”

The Golden Beach Town Charter states, says Feinman, that any project costing more than $5,000 must go out for bid. He points out that during the past year, five such projects did not go out for bid. They are:
· Cul de sac beautification, $7,000
· Dismantling and rebuilding the lifeguard stand, $5,000
· Maintenance and planting on A1A (which is apparently going to have to be done over), nearly $100,000
· Roof tiles for loggia and bathrooms, $18,000
· Reconstruction of the Town Hall and other public works, over $80,000
Moreover, says Feinman, the project involving new storm water pipes in South Park “is a financial mystery.” He is perhaps rightfully upset that no information has been released in regard to the costs of easements and damages to neighboring properties. I know that if I was one of the people concerned, I’d be upset.

What I don’t understand is why so few of you Golden Beach residents seem to be overly dismayed about what’s been going on in your little piece of paradise. The mayor and the rest of the Council are, after all, elected officers. Elected by you. In fact, Mayor Addicott was just reelected, unopposed, because nobody could be bothered to stand against him. Did all you people who’ve sent me emails actually vote? And if not, why not? Because that’s the only way you’re going to change things. Somebody once said that nations get the governments they deserve. I guess that goes for townships, as well.

Go Fly a Kite

Quite a few of the things we take for granted came to us from China. Cinderella, for example, was originally a character in a Tang Dynasty (618-907) folk tale. Marco Polo discovered mien (Chinese noodles) during his travels and took the recipe home with him, giving the world spaghetti. And it was 16th century Portuguese explorers who introduced
the first pieces of eponymous china to the Western world, with which we still set our tables. (Our English word for “crockery” comes from the vessels they used to transport the stuff, which were called “kraaks.”) Kites are also a Chinese invention, and the Mounting the Heights Festival still takes place on the ninth day of the ninth (lunar) month. People celebrate by going to the mountains, or up on the roof, drinking wine steeped in chrysanthemum petals and flying kites. They’re commemorating Han Dynasty (206 BC-220 AD) Yuan Qing, who was warned by a famous magician to take his family to a high mountain to escape a coming catastrophe, and once there, to drink wine steeped in chrysanthemum petals to ward off evil. He did as he was told and he survived, although his flocks and herds on the plains below perished.

No chrysanthemum wine was in evidence at Sunday’s Kite Day at Haulover Park, but there were high-flying candy drops in which buckets of candy attached to kites were poured over delighted (and, dare I say, open-mouthed) onlookers, as well as kite-building classes, air shows by the South Florida Kite Society and a number of kite-flying contests, with prizes for the highest kite, best homemade kite, most unusual kite, biggest kite and the kite with the longest tail. Great fun for the families who made a day out of it, and fun for passing motorists, as well. Best of all, it was free. Thanks to Metro Parks and Skyward Kites who co-sponsored the event.

Contact me at gailgraham1@juno.com