Passing of a Friend
“It’s not easy to say goodbye – especially if your last act of loving and protecting your pet was euthanasia.”
By Lisa H. Knapp
Columnist
Coping with the loss of a pet can be one of life’s most difficult experiences. It’s not easy to say goodbye – especially if your last
act of loving and protecting your pet was euthanasia.
While all cultures have rituals to pay last respects when people die, few traditions mark the passing of companion animals – our pets.
Anyone who considers a pet a beloved friend or family member knows the intense pain that accompanies that loss. It is a huge loss of
unconditional love. Finding a personal way to say goodbye and honor our pets is important to our well-being as we continue our lives without them.
Coping with pet loss brings grief and other emotions. Guilt may occur if you feel responsible for your pet’s death – “If only I
had been more careful” syndrome. This is pointless and delays resolving your grief. Shock and Denial: difficulty accepting that your pet is really gone. It’s hard to imagine
that your pet won’t greet you when you come home or that you won’t hear the jingles of a collar anymore. “This can’t be happening – I can’t believe she’s really gone.” Some experience
Anger, but focusing on the driver of that speeding car, the illness, or the vet who “failed” to save your pet’s life distracts you from resolving your grief. Intense pining, sadness,
and yearning can lead to Depression, a natural consequence of grief. It can leave you powerless to cope with your feelings, and rob you of motivation and energy as you dwell upon
your sorrow.
Sometimes we forget that grief is a process; and that through this process, new coping skills are learned. The pet that is gone is
usually never forgotten. Sadness and crying still occur, while simultaneously increased happiness is experienced.
Dog Gone Dilemma
My husband, Kevin, and I are experiencing these emotions ourselves – right now. We put our dog, Madonna, to sleep on October 5th.
Madonna was a feisty corgi mix, part of our family for 18 years. We got Madonna right after we got married in 1986, during the Reagan Administration, while I was still in college. Madonna
lived in three states and then retired to Florida to enjoy the ocean breezes and multiple sunny spots for napping at Hidden Bay. She was a neat little dog and spoiled, too. Since I write
at home, she was always with me. Madonna usually yawned when I read drafts of my column and I still can’t get used to the fact that she is not here, underfoot, anymore.
Kevin and I were concerned about our 17 year-old dog’s health. She had an enlarged heart and kidney problems, kept “in check” by early
detection, proper meds and diet. Our dog was loved and happy in our little pack, aging gracefully.
We brought Madonna to Aventura Animal Hospital to see Dr. Kerry Dermady on October 2 – Thursday – for blood work. Dr. Dermady has
treated Madonna since 1998. On Friday, I raced to get the test results and the new medicine that would keep the dog going. But what I got was the shock of my life. Dr. Dermady
said Madonna’s renal profiles were terrible and that she had hours, days to live. Her tone was serious; Madonna was on a huge decline and would suffer if we didn’t put her to sleep.
I was numb, like the wind had been knocked out of me as she said, “If you need me, call. Don’t wait too long. I’m sorry.”
Saturday night was rough for Madonna. The three of us slept together on the floor by her lounger, huddled together to love her through
the night and into tomorrow, safely. We cursed the clock on the cable box that seemed to flaunt the precious, ticking minutes until the vet opened on Sunday. At 1 p.m. we spoke with Dr.
Dermady; through the tears, we agreed to meet at 3 p.m. to do the deed.
In our distress, we felt callous and worried if we were being, well, hasty. We both cried all the way to the vet and during most of
the quick, painless procedure. I was holding Madonna, she felt safe in my arms. My husband fused his body into mine, his strong arms and legs supporting my shaking limbs, as we comforted
our dog during the 20 second procedure.
In February, I pre-arranged the events that followed and am now glad that I did. I chose Pet Heaven, a wonderful pet cemetery on 109th
and Flagler, for Madonna’s resting place. I picked out her plot, her coffin, her marker, and knew that Pet Heaven would get her from the vet to their cemetery when the time came. The
folks at Pet Heaven were nice, professional, and comforting.
We left the vet sobbing. We sobbed at home, too. Then we sobbed some more to Publix while we got three essentials: Kleenex, Visine and
beer.
In the days that followed, we churned Thursday to Sunday‘s traumatic cycle of events over and over again. We put photos of Madonna in
an album, laughing now and then. Kevin sewed a blanket and pillow for Madonna (and stuck our photos “ dog-walking shoes.” We were glad we had the chance to say goodbye to our dog, one
last time. Our hearts are far from healed, but we are trying to remember, “cry not for what you lost, smile for what you once had.”
Aventura Animal Hospital – WUF!
The Aventura Animal Hospital and Pet Resort on 19101 Biscayne Blvd. has served over 23,000 pets since its founding in 1992. The staff
of small animal generalists consists of 5 doctors and 27 staff, who provide expert medical care, grooming, and boarding to dogs and cats.
Unlike other neighborhood vets, Aventura Animal Hospital is open 365 days a year, with extended weekend hours. The Hospital also has
the area’s only high tech lasers to painlessly declaw cats and remove little warts and growths. Most other vets still use scalpel blades.
You Lucky Dog
Dr. Kerry Dermady has been in practice for over 12 years and offers some tips for pet-lovers: The three factors in extending a pet’s
life expectancy are being weight-appropriate (studies show obese pets’ life span is 25% shorter); having good teeth (dental disease spreads bacteria beyond the mouth), and
regular check-ups. The average life span of a pet is now 12 – 14 years. Regular exercise – walking or swimming – keeps your pet happy and in shape. Pets that are exercised regularly
and trained properly have fewer behavior problems as well. And that “cold nose” theory of good health – it’s just an old wives tale.
Free Boat Parade
Watch for the world’s longest flotilla of super yachts on the IntraCoastal as the 44th Annual Fort Lauderdale International
Boat Show draws near (10/30 – 11/3). Later, Lisa
