I can argue that 2003 was a great year and a god-awful year at the very same time – for personal, political, and all things considering reasons. But why should I focus on the bad? The good was just too good, too juicy, too fun, and too simultaneously scandalous. Here’s the rundown of some of the best things to go down in the Big Apple.

Best Bar to Disobey Mayor Bloomberg's Smoking Ban: The Hole (Second Avenue & Second Street). In this anything goes, dank, dive bar you can smoke, snort, and do almost anything else you want within the black walls. The Hole was also winner of “Best Place to Get Molested by People of the Same Sex As You” but I cancelled that entry at the last minute.
Best Place to Disobey NYC’s “No Dancing Unless the Bar Has a Cabaret License”: Starfoods (First Street off First Avenue). Although I think this bar is mostly made up of wannabes and pretendsters trying to be hip, the floor does turn into quite the place to shake it, while the “No Dancing” signs seem to smile in defiance.

Best Place to Throw a Work Holiday Party and Invite “Little” Guests: Belmont Lounge (E. 15^th Street). Blue Horizon Media, which publishes Playgirl magazine (where I serve as editor) had their holiday party at this very chic establishment. We were all told that a “big star” was going to be Santa – and it was none other than Howard Stern’s mean-spirited little buddy Beetlejuice. Regardless, Belmont was accommodating, served great drinks, and delicious hors d’oeuvres.

Best Spot to See Rock Stars Get Obliterated: Niagara (Avenue A & 7^th Street) If you stay long enough, you may also catch the rock stars stumble to catch a cab and then fall in the street. Hey, they’re human too, regardless of how superhuman their music ability may be.

Best Spa to Wax Your Box (Or Any Other “I Don't Want Hair There” Areas: Bliss Spa (Uptown & SOHO locations). The only downside is that if you “accidentally” shave between visits, you will get yelled at by a woman with a German-sounding accent. I’m more afraid of that than the hot wax being ripped from between my legs.

Best Place to Get Pricked: Cornerstone Healing (Court Street in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn). Acupuncture for stress relief works wonders on the mind, body, and soul and in this quaint healing center, you really feel your pains and pressures disappear with each prick.

Best Party to Sing “Like a Virgin” While Men Swing Upside Down from the Ceiling: Karaoke with Sid & Buddy at Nolita Tavern (Spring Street). No lip syncing allowed here at what’s been called “American Idol” meets “Jackass.” Not your mama’s karaoke!

Best Overall Favorite Bar That Never Disappoints Even When Your “Date” Tries to Make Out with Your Best Friend: Lit (Second Avenue). When there is a great selection of all kinds of music playing at a down and dirty rock bar and the drinks are poured well, good times are had even when a bad seed interrupts. Now that’s saying a lot.

Best New York Band/Musician to Be Recognized: Interpol, The Mooney Suzuki, Ryan Adams, Yeah Yeah Yeahs – to name but a few.
Best New York Band That Should Be Recognized: Katy Mae.
Best Thing About Living on a Constant State of High Alert in NYC: Despite the threats, The Big Apple has remained safe and its residents are prouder than ever to be New Yorkers.
Need a New York City fix? Michele Zipp will find your pulse. Email Michele at mzipp@miamisunpost.com with all your NYC needs, wants, and desires.