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  Last Updated: Friday, August 29, 2008

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Best of City Life

For the most part we’re a local newspaper. So, along with the typical spam e-mails, advertising get-rich schemes, get-into-a-moderate-income-bracket schemes and get-free-porn schemes, we get press releases. Lots of press releases. If they are about subjects related to Miami-Dade County, we might take notice. If they are about "news" from, say, Orlando or Georgia or Las Vegas, the releases are deleted and ignored.

That is, until now. We’ve never heard of Rock City but apparently it’s a big deal. Such a big deal that the Chattanooga Area Convention and Visitors Bureau sent out a press release to every media outlet in North America announcing "three trail options to customize [visitors’] experiences, increased regional food offerings and a new pavilion for larger group gatherings." Our curiosity was peaked so we logged on to the Web site, seerockcity.com. "Located atop Lookout Mountain, just 6 miles from downtown Chattanooga, Rock City is a true marvel of nature featuring massive ancient rock formations, gardens with over 400 native plant species, and breathtaking ‘See 7 States’ panoramic views. Take an unforgettable journey along the Enchanted Trail where each step reveals natural beauty and wonders along the woodland path. Experience fairytale magic at Fairyland Caverns and Mother Goose Village. Gift shops and restaurant on site. Splendid year-round!"

Apparently Fairyland Caverns and Mother Goose Villages are big draws for locals and tourists in Tennessee. Not so in Miami-Dade, unless they are some kind of theme night for a club. And mountains. There are no mountains in Florida for this is the flattest state of the union, hence the absence of Fairyland Caverns.

So you won’t read anything about mountains and very little about rocks in the upcoming section, City Life — our potpourri section of everything that makes us unique: our politics, our neighborhoods, our parks, our hunting grounds for companionship, our hotels, our professional services, our beaches.

Ah, beaches — a pleasure virtually unknown to the people of Tennessee or Chattanooga or Rock City. But we’re sure there are some unique "City Life" bests in Tennessee, such as "Best Place to See a Train" or "Best Sudden Fall" or "Best Place to Get Eaten by a Bear."

Are we being unfair to our northern landlocked neighbors? Maybe, but screw ’em. We know they make fun of us because we don’t have mountains or waterfalls or actual seasons or rock climber conventions or killer bears roaming around. Why else would they send us the press releases. They’re saying "Ha! Ha! We are waaaaaay above sea level, unlike some places. We are, like, so much more geologically interesting than you, Miami Beach. And we’ve got a Mother Goose Village. In your face!"

We say the hell with them. We don’t need no stinkin’ mountains. We have beaches and dog parks and politicians willing to take a chance against public opinion and conventional wisdom and pave over federally protected wetlands. We have celebrities and cool hotels and MTV and 5 a.m. liquor establishments and spinning hurricanes that can strike at any moment.

Life here in Miami is every bit as interesting as in Chattanooga. And we’re going to prove it, too. Nature? Feh. Who needs it? — Erik Bojnansky

KylieDog.com

Meet Kylie, a globe-trotting Jack Russell Terrier who is also the purveyor of The Psychic Puppy Network. She goes by the name of the great Kylini and has amazing powers of perception and prediction (and in her spare time she is working on bending spoons with her mind). She will even answer your most perplexing questions about love, or money, or maybe even the location of long-lost squeak toys.

Stay in doggie style at the Loews Miami Beach Hotel

Your pooch will sleep in style with the Loews Loves Pets program, which provides walking trail maps and treats for your four-legged friends. Their pet room service will put your furry one over the top with menus that have been developed and approved by a licensed veterinarian to offer proper nutrition that will aid your pooch in dealing with the potential stresses that may arise from traveling. The Loews Loves Pets program even goes as far as to provide a vegetarian entrée for those more health conscious puppies. Is Fido thirsty? Beverage carts offer bottled water and milk. The concierge has a special closet full of goodies like leashes, collars, pet toys and videos, litter boxes and even pooper-scoopers. Located at 1601 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. 305-538-8569

Best County Department

Solid Waste Management

Residents of unincorporated Miami-Dade County have expressed many reasons for desiring cityhood. We notice that trash pickup isn’t one of them. In fact, Aventura, Sunny Isles Beach, Miami Gardens, Miami Lakes, Doral, Palmetto Bay, Pinecrest and Sweetwater still use the county’s trash pick-up services along with thousands of other residents in the Municipal Unincorporated Service Area (MUSA)—about 300,000 people in all. And as some residents of a community just west of Aventura debate the pros and cons of incorporation, so far no one has mentioned creating their own sanitation department. It would probably be hard to compete. After five decades of existence, the Solid Waste Department has bragging rights as the largest government-owned sanitation department in the country, with dumps all over the county. It also claims to be the most technologically advanced, after investing $13.5 million in automated trucks requiring only one employee. (What happened to the other employees, you wonder? Reassigned to vacant positions in the department, swears the county.)

And then there’s the coming of the green monsters. Over the next four years, green drums capable of holding 96 gallons of garbage will be arriving at homes all over the department’s service area. Already the residents of Aventura, Sunny Isles and Ojus have received the giant new containers. Soon the sight of piles of garbage bags left roadside in residential neighborhoods will be a thing of the past.

Best City Department (Miami)

Agenda Review Office

Once upon a time a reporter, lobbyist or determined gadfly would have to take home a voluminous cellophane-wrapped package to see what the Miami City Commission had planned during its meetings. That is, until the Agenda Review Office realized there was something called the Internet and began posting all things having to do with the commission and the Community Redevelopment Agency in cyberspace. Here’s how to access: Log on to Miami’s Web site at www.ci.miami.fl.us, click the Legislative Hub link, click the "Meetings and Events" icon on the right, find the agenda item or meeting minutes you want in a calendar and, voila, check out not only the agenda but also back-up materials such as the resolution language, property applications, memos, etc. The system isn’t perfect, though. After logging off a particular item you’re returned to the beginning of the agenda and, if interested in the subject, you have to find the item all over again—quite annoying. But at least the Agenda Review Office enables interested parties to find out about a pending commission decision on an up-zoning request or a grant without going either to the City Clerk’s Office in Dinner Key or the Miami Riverside Center. Now if only materials from the Zoning Board or the Historic and Environmental Preservation Board could be found so easily.

Best City Department (Miami Beach)

City Clerk’s Office

Unlike Miami’s Balkanized method, which spreads city info among 10 or 12 offices, all Beach information is eventually filtered to one place: the City Clerk’s Office. Headed by City Clerk Bob Parcher, the office maintains the minutes and tapes of all public meetings. But the real reason this department rates a "Best" is found on the Web: At www.miamibeachfl.gov under "City Clerk’s Office," one discovers decisions by the city’s power committees—the Design Review Board, Planning Board, Board of Adjustments, etc. Also online are the commission meetings with complete records of legislative activity. And if you want visuals, guess what? The City Clerk’s Office also records on its website past meetings of the Miami Beach City Commission, DRB, Planning Board, Board of Adjustments, G.O. Bond Oversight Committee, City Commission Workshops and even special events.

Best City Department (Aventura)

Aventura Police Department

Still keeping Shangri-La safe and secure and given the rough and tumble crime history of its neighbors (North Miami and North Miami Beach), that’s no small task.

Best Managed City

Aventura

We dubbed Surfside "Best Managed City" a few years back and now the tiny quiet municipality is on the verge of a civil war. So we figured we’d leave this award blank, lest the entire commission of the next municipality recognized be indicted and carted away.

Then we decided, "Why fight it?" Change is in the air for Aventura, with a new mayor and a new commission. But so far the city moves steadily along without falling into North Bay Village-like hysteria. (Regular SunPost readers know what we’re talking about.) Yes, the city politicians have their disagreements about seating arrangements, televising moratoriums and whatnot, but during the last election almost everyone remarked how well the city is managed, how great City Manager Eric Soroka is, and just how generally excellent life is in the "City of Excellence." Might this simply be the calm before the storm? Sure, a wrong tax increase here, a redevelopment plan gone awry there and our opinions could change. For now Aventura remains one of the few municipalities that continues to run somewhat smoothly.

Best Dog and Pony Show

Miami 21

We’ve been to the meetings. We’ve seen the plans. We’ve read Miami Mayor Manny Diaz’s essays to the Miami Herald. We still don’t get it, other than that we’re supposed to feel real good about it—it being the city of Miami’s future. And what is that future? A new baseball stadium, a renovated Orange Bowl, a giant mega-yacht basin, some parks, another park full of museums and a new light-rail system to support development in downtown Miami. Ta-da! There. Miami 21 is done, right? Well, no. Seems it will take a couple of years before it’s completed, as consultants meet with Miami residents and stuff. Meanwhile, look for developers to continue reshaping Miami in their image as they seek (and usually receive) piecemeal zoning changes for their parcels.

Best Political Contest

Mayor Carlos Alvarez vs. Miami-Dade County Commission

Jose "Pepe" Riesco, chairman of Citizens for Reform, did not receive a warm welcome before the county commission when he introduced his petition for two charter amendments that would restrict the commission’s power, make the county manager position irrelevant and transform the mayor’s seat into a true "strong mayor" post. Rather, Riesco was grilled by county commissioners about the identities of the committee’s other members; he would give only his and his daughter’s names. Other supporters would be revealed later and he was only present before the commission as a "courtesy," Riesco replied.

Thus the contest began, with many political observers giving Alvarez the edge in a special election should he receive the 10 to 15 percent of signatures needed to put the referendums on the ballot. So county commissioners announced their intention to crush the referendum drive in its track. They were only partly successful: A referendum question to strip procurement from commissioners and give it to department heads and the county manager failed to get enough signatures. Yet Citizens for Reform delivered boxes of signatures on a referendum that would transfer the powers of the county manager to the county mayor.

Now we enter the next stage of battle—verifying the signatures. Assuming most aren’t thrown out, voters in November will decide whether to change the county’s system of government.

Best Political Move

2,500-Foot Buffer Zones

Miami Beach Mayor David Dermer’s reasoning was simple: If an adult club or venue must be at least 2,500 feet away from a school, why are those convicted of sexual crimes against children only banned from living within 1,000 feet of said school? So he announced his intent during a State of the City address to create 2,500-foot buffer zones banning registered sexual offenders and predators from living near places where children frequent. Before the law even got to first reading, Dermer was inundated with calls from other cities asking for advice in creating similar laws—in Florida and out. Dermer is even getting face time on national news television networks like CNN and FOX.

Best Political Blunder

Trying to Evict a Religious Activist

Yep, Sandra Snowden, the Christian Crusader, can be pretty wacky but Bay Harbor Councilman Isaac Salver, a devout Jew, blundered in a major way when he sought her eviction and remarked to a one-time political adversary, former Mayor Linda Zilber, that Snowden was an "anti-Semitic bitch." It was a blunder not just because Snowden’s landlord and Zilber later supplied affidavits to Snowden’s legal team, thus giving more ammunition to the Christian Coalition’s bid to overturn a decree forbidding a nativity scene on town public property. It wasn’t a blunder only because Salver, as part of the settlement, had to give up the mayor title he sought. It was a blunder because Salver unwittingly assured Snowden ongoing attention—something she perhaps desires most. And with that attention, Snowden will likely make the holiday season in Bay Harbor, well, special.

Best Law

Miami Beach’s Campaign Finance Reform Law

Recently strengthened, Miami Beach’s ordinance bans those who have service contracts with the city and their representatives (read: lobbyists) from lining the coffers of candidates for public office. Anyone who wins is barred from having a city contract for at least a year. Developers with pending "development agreements" with the city are also prohibited from contributing to campaigns.

But there is still room for improvement with this law. Might not be a bad idea to also ban fundraisers for various politicos from contracts with the city for a year.

Best Political Opportunity

Banning Lobbyists and Contributors From Receiving County Contracts

Why must we go through the whole mayor vs. County Commission apocalypse? OK, other than it being amusing. But seriously, if county commissioners sincerely believe all those scandals at the airport, the seaport and other various departments have nothing to do with them and if Mayor Carlos Alvarez is serious in his rhetoric that he wants to "reform" the way the county doles out contracts, here’s what to do: Approve a law banning those who contribute to political campaigns from either receiving contracts or representing them as a lobbyist. Anyone who breaks the law will be barred from doing business with the county for a year.

Sound too fanciful? Guess what? Miami Beach already has such a law and has been fairly successful in separating campaign contributors and their lobbyists from elected officials, thus going a long way toward cleaning up the contract process. Maybe as a kicker they can even add in those who raise money for candidates.

Imagine what would happen if the county enacted such legislation? Contracts might be judged on their—gasp!—merits. And maybe we would end up hiring contract holders who actually do work rather than spending most of their energy deciding on the next scam.

Best Political Tug-of-War

Florida Marlins Baseball Stadium

It just won’t die. Deadline expires? No problem, we’ll just extend it. Can’t find a site? No problem, there’s this working class neighborhood near the Orange Bowl stadium whose residents don’t have any clout. Talking to Las Vegas and your old landlord is ending your lease? No problem, we’ll beg the state Legislature for tax breaks. State Legislature didn’t go for it? No problem, we’ll just fiddle around with the convention development tax dollars a little and see what we can come up with. Miami Beach doesn’t like that? No problem…

Runner-Up: Slots Referendum

It seemed the pari-mutuel side had this one in the bag, what with that "We’ll give money for education if you let us have slot machines" line, especially since gambling’s already permitted. Then the pro-slots side just had to get obnoxious with their "money for education" commercials and ads, making everyone wonder how much Miami-Dade and Broward schools would actually get after other counties took a piece. Meanwhile, south of Broward, people started to grumble — questioning what benefit there would be for the economy and calling slots the "crack cocaine" of gambling. Gov. Jeb Bush’s entry into the contest on the side against slots was the final straw in Miami-Dade, where the measure failed. But it passed in Broward. Well, sort of. Florida’s Republican-dominated Legislature was in no rush to enact the required enabling legislation, forcing Broward’s pari-mutuels to sue. The latest news: a court order mandating that regulations be drafted by July 1 or else. The likely answer: an appeal to a higher court, further delaying the arrival of slot machines.

Best Lawsuit

Jackson’s Soul Food vs. the Community Redevelopment Agency

OK, so the restaurant gets thousands of dollars in grant money, has a lucrative deal with a billboard company thanks—allegedly—to Commissioner Art Teele, still under investigation for kickback schemes related to the Community Redevelopment Agency, and the owners are suing for still more grant money?

Wow, talk about balls!

Runner-Up: Nasser Idrisi vs. Beach Towing

We’ve all done it. We park our car in a place we shouldn’t. We get wasted. We get irate when one of the happy tow drivers announces our car was taken away. That’s why there is bulletproof glass between the "cheerful" cashier and the adoring public. Apparently, though, tow truck drivers still feel the need to beat the crap out of people. In Idrisi’s case, he dared curse the towers in Arabic on the eve of the Iraq War in February 2003, whereupon a teenage "friend" of an employee introduced him to a crowbar. Ironically Idrisi, an Iraqi-American, was featured in an article in which he hoped the United States would not attack Iraq. Idrisi went on to teach American soldiers Arabic while his lawyers continued to litigate against Beach Towing, who insisted the kid didn’t work there (they still paid for his legal bills). In the end a jury awarded Idrisi $975,000. Draw your own conclusions, kids.

Best Political Prosecution

Arthur Teele

The Miami commissioner and anointed chair of the Community Redevelopment Agency thought he was a badass and above touching. But he was quite the opposite—his leadership of an inefficient and corrupt CRA meant to assist the redevelopment of Overtown and Omni annoyed many potential investors. Such politicians have a tendency to get investigated. Then he just had to annoy Miami leaders with

his opposition to a $200 million Crosswinds projects simply because

it didn’t include enough affordable housing. (Dude, Miami is trying to get rid of poor people of no political use. Get with the program!)

And Teele made it easy to be forced from power by running an undercover police officer (shadowing him as part of the CRA investigation) off the road with his car, leading to the ex-commissioner’s loss of his seat and sentencing to probation for threatening an officer.

It didn’t end there. The Miami-Dade State Attorney’s Office began to release all kinds of fun facts provided by Jacques "Let’s Make a Deal" Thermilus, such as Teele’s aspirations of earning $1 million in kickbacks from Thermilus’ companies alone, his forays into the recording business with a co-owner of Jackson’s Soul Food, his fondness for moody transvestites who like cocaine.

Yep, the authorities don’t just intend to bury Teele—they plan to pound a stake in his heart just to make sure he can never rise again.

Best Elected Official

Jose Smith

He might be the best argument against term limits. Since being elected in 1997, Jose Smith has been a steady voice of moderation on the Miami Beach City Commission. At the same time, Smith has not been afraid to propose, cosponsor or support legislation to strengthen ethics in Miami Beach city government: from backing Mayor Dermer’s request to audit the RDA and ban lobbyists from city boards to cosponsoring a bill banning city contract holders and their lobbyists from contributing to the campaigns of city commissioners. The best part about Smith: He is his own man and you never knew how he would vote. And when he did, well, even those who disagreed with him often respected him. (Well, except for boat owners who hate Smith’s seven-day anchoring law, but still….)

We’ve lost track of how many commissioner-wannabes are scrambling to run for the seat Smith is forced to vacate. Can anyone fill his shoes? Not to be cynical but probably not. It’s the end of an era.

Best Politician

Tomas Regalado

The only member left on the Miami City Commission who dares even slightly criticize Mayor Manny Diaz’s economic strategy of "keep building it and they will come," Commissioner Tomas Regalado jokes about being a "radical." And it is a joke: Regalado has voted for plenty of high-rise developments in Miami. His usual excuse is that Commissioner Johnny Winton, in whose district many of these projects are being built, supports them. But Regalado at least throws out some interesting ideas—such as how is Miami going to provide services for all the people who presumably will live in these wonderful high-rises? In fact, Regalado’s musings about overdevelopment and other goings-on in Miami often raise the excitement level at commission meetings. For example, when an elderly couple protested construction of yet another Florida Power and Light substation out of unease about electromagnetic fields, Regalado wryly observed that if not for these substations, Miami would be forced to build a nuclear power plant on Virginia Key to pay for all the new development "and can you imagine the uproar for that?" And when a traffic study on the impact of development on Bayshore Drive was proposed, Regalado barely held in his laughter as he observed

that future projects have hardly even begun.

Best Name

Charity Good

In the words of the dearly departed Dave Barry (who isn’t dead but has decided to stop writing syndicated humor columns), "we are not making this up." Charity Good is the name of the deputy city manager of Hallandale currently seeking the job of city manager of North Bay Village. You know this poor woman was tormented in junior high school.

Runner-Up: Vanessa Innocent

A perfect name for someone who is the senior executive secretary for the supervisor of elections.

Best Fall From Grace

Constance Kaplan

She was the Promised One! The one who would bring balance to the Elections Department, not further humiliation! The one who would deliver Miami from darkness, not bring further controversy!

With apologies to Obi-Wan Kenobi, Constance Kaplan took the Miami-Dade Elections Supervisor position with the promise to straighten the place out, what with the county being plagued by chaos from a razor-thin presidential election, dead people voting absentee in Miami, etc. Sure, David Leahy seemed like a nice enough guy but he dragged his feet. What the county needed was someone from the Windy City of Chicago who observed elections in troubled countries, to fix things. Kaplan was that woman.

And she started out great. When election reform advocates questioned the accuracy of the HAL-like iVotronic machines, Kaplan led the largest beta test of its kind in national history during a two-day marathon in a Doral warehouse. Kaplan stayed there throughout, juggling election workers, county administrators, investigators from the Office of the Inspector General and even pesky reporters, from the local SunPost to the all-snooping 60 Minutes.

But it didn’t last. Instances of "coding" problems, where election results mysteriously disappeared, continued to plague the iVotronics. And then there was that campaign donation scandal where the OIG slammed the Elections Department for not only cashing fraudulent checks to opposition candidates seeking matching county funding through our well-meaning campaign financing laws, but also counting said fraudulent checks twice in some instances, increasing the odds the candidate would receive their ill-gotten grants and giving a leg-up to opposition candidates who dared challenge the will of incumbent commissioners. (Incumbent Commissioners Bruno Barreiro and Natacha Seijas reported allegations about their respective opponents.) Finally, during the March 8 referendum on slot machines, hundreds of votes—oooops!—disappeared from the wonderful iVotronics. Kaplan insisted the vanished votes would have had no effect on the election. Parimutuel operators in Miami-Dade aren’t so sure—threatening to sue for another election.

When Kaplan declared her intent to resign, the message from the county manager’s office was pretty clear: "Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out."

Best Political Scandal

Miami International Airport Fuel Farm Bust

Following an investigation by Miami-Dade’s Office of the Inspector General, 19 individuals were busted in an organized scheme to steal fuel and obtain county funding through county contracts. Two individuals, Richard Caride and Evens Thermilus, proved especially talkative, leading to the arrest of politically connected County Hall lobbyists and providing further evidence against former Miami Commissioner Art Teele and questionable figures in Miami’s besieged Community Redevelopment Agency.

Will there be more revelations, possibly some arrests of a few high-profile county officials? We can only hope—especially the arrest part. A cynical sentiment? Well, right or wrong, whenever a county commissioner gets arrested, conduct within the Stephen P. Clark Government Center seems to improve—at least for a little while.

Best City Spokesperson

Nannette Rodriguez, City of Miami Beach

An army of basically one, Nannette Rodriguez has been delegated the task of being the official spokesperson for virtually all things official in Miami Beach and, given that city’s increasing presence in the spotlight, that is not an easy job. However, in spite of her huge workload, Rodriguez does everything she can to find answers for a reporter in a timely manner unlike some spokespeople from neighboring cities (Cough! City of Miami), and she’s pleasant about it to boot.

Best Miami Herald Editorial

"Annexation Plan Would Take Big Toll"

Miami-Dade County commissioners were freaking out June 7 about the Herald’s editorial the day before opposing Florida City’s annexing 117 acres of land. "There are lies, there are damned lies and there is the Miami Herald," Commissioner Dennis Moss grumbled. Commissioner Natacha Seijas mused about reporting the Herald to the Federal Communications Commission for unfairness. (The FCC only has jurisdiction over the airwaves, but why ruin a good rant?) And Florida City Mayor Otis Wallace even got Biblical on the Herald’s butts, saying if the paper was around during the time of creation, the appearance of the sun would be mistaken for coming disaster. The main object of contention was Moss’ claim that Florida City simply wanted to extend its tax base in the event anyone wanted to buy the land that Lennar just happened to be contracted to buy and just happened to have an application to build 6,000 units on. The annexation had nothing to do with extending the Urban Development Boundary, an invisible line that marks where it’s OK to have a city and where residential development is limited, Moss and Wallace insisted. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Never mind that annexation and development on land still considered wetlands would be the first step toward arguing for extending that UDB line. Never mind that, according to representatives from the federal Parks Service, development on those 117 acres would jeopardize plans to rejuvenate the Everglades. Never mind the land being considered for annexation consists mainly of a rock mine that went dry and has a tendency to flood. Never mind development in that particular area could contaminate the water supply. Never mind county staff suggested another unincorporated area Florida City could annex without creating any environmental issues. We just don’t like the Herald’s attitude and its apparent affection for Carlos Alvarez, stated the commission majority through Moss, so let’s just quote the Herald’s subscription figures, dodge the environment issues and move annexation along. Wow, talk about touching a nerve. Hey, One Herald Plaza guys, neat editorial! Keep making those guys at the Stephen P. Clark Center blow gaskets. It’s quite revealing of our elected officials’ true nature!

Best Political Hatchet Man

Carlos Alvarez

Whenever the Miami-Dade County Commission acts too obnoxious, Mayor Carlos Alvarez is there, threatening to veto the legislation and all too ready to remind the voters, subliminally or directly, of why people should approve his referendum to become the county’s Fuehrer. So keep it up, County Commission guys, especially you, Commissioner Dennis Moss, you ray of sunshine you. Just keep on slamming newspapers like psychopaths, pretending annexations have absolutely nothing to do with development proposals, making friends with questionable figures who turn out to be part of scams that swindle millions of dollars in taxpayer money. Just continue doing all those things as Alvarez courts voters to give him the power to do just about anything and everything. Keep it up, county commissioners, and allow the hatchet man to make

you completely

irrelevant.

Best Repeat Performance

MTV Video Music Awards

Last summer Miami and its neighboring municipalities were the coolest place to be in these United States of America when MTV opted not to hold its annual event in either Los Angeles or New York and to give Miami a try. So it was no wonder that representatives and officials from Miami-Dade County, the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau, the city of Miami and the American Airlines Arena began lobbying MTV to hold the event here next year even before the executives left their hotel rooms. The groveling worked: MTV is coming back again. Miami will once again be a super-cool land in the dead of summer—unless something like a hurricane ruins it.

Best Overexposed Apprentice

Katrina Campins

Best Place to Take an Out of Towner

Miami International Airport

On top of your busy schedule, suddenly you have to host your dear friend from Kansas City who wants to partake of all the hip coolness he believes Miami and South Beach are. So you stand in the long lines at the damn clubs in hopes of being let in, you eat at the expensive Lincoln Road restaurants, you drive around Miami’s warehouse areas in search of galleries and, in the end, your friend is just as pleased to wander for hours in the antiseptic anywhere-USA-only-larger Aventura Mall. In between, you hear your friend talk about how screwed up his life is, how tired he is of living in Kansas City, how he should give up drinking but won’t, how he wants to quit his dead-end job and change his environment to some place like, say, Miami and yadayadayada. You offer him advice and show him employment ads and condo ads but Mr. Kansas City just won’t give up that albatross around his neck.

Then, finally, that blessed day arrives. Oh no need to get a cab, you say. I’ll drive you over to MIA. Yes, sure I’ll miss you. Sure, I’ll call. Got my e-mail address? Got your bags? Great, see ya!

Then put your pedal to the metal and floor it, enjoying what little is left of your weekend by watching cable TV.

Best Reason to Leave Town

Traffic

It’s not an illusion. It is taking longer and longer to get from Point A to Point B. As a recently released study from the Texas Transportation Institute states, South Floridians are stuck in traffic an average of 51 hours a year – sixth worst in the nation. That’s right kids, break out the party hats!

And will it get worse before it gets better? Unless a wonderful regional transportation alternative comes along that makes people want to give up their cars: You betcha! Meanwhile, more residential and commercial projects are being constructed every day – each attracting people who will surely want to drive more cars.

Concurrency concerns? Oh please. There’s always a way for developers to get around them—like the widening of a road or a promised transit project that will never exist.

So you have two choices: Leave for your destination an hour or two early and keep the kids away from the street… or… sacrifice the sunshine and decent weather for a less-crowded locale like, say, Fargo, North Dakota. Nice open roads in ND.

Best Place to Meet Single Women

Yoga Class

Here’s the ground rule: Don’t hit on the women during class. That’s creepy and annoying. In fact, show no interest at all. This won’t be hard as you will be busy contorting your body into strange positions and your mind will be occupied by messages from your nerves screaming, "AAAAAAAAH! This f&^*&ing hurts!" Make your move after class but be warned – the single women will be sneaking peaks at your ability to be flexible as well. Location: Oh, just look one up in the Yellow Pages. The category applies to pretty much all of them, except maybe classes for pregnant women. Phone: Ditto

Runner-Up: Publix on the Bay

There is just something about the hunting and gathering process of shopping for supplies that makes women more receptive to social advances. And either due to its unique architecture or the fact that it’s the newest supermarket in South Beach, many a lonely guy has found happy hunting grounds in Publix on the Bay. The best part: You don’t have to contort your body into strange positions. Location: 1920 West Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-535-4268

Best Place to Meet Single Men

Alcoholics Anonymous

A very diverse group can be found here: young professionals, working-class stiffs, unemployed artist and writer types, heirs of multimillion dollar fortunes, lonely divorcés. AA is a kind of supermarket for those seeking someone with an XY chromosome. No need to learn the particulars of a person on a first date. Just attend the meetings. You will have to tell a good story about some mishap you had while drinking. After the session, take your chosen male for a drink! (Just kidding.) Location: AA chapters can be found all over Miami-Dade County. Log on to www.aainmiami.org Phone: Ditto

Runner-Up: Smith & Wollensky

This steak joint at South Pointe Park is still the place for upwardly mobile males and the people who want to meet them to devour dead cow and slug back a few drinks as they talk about their lives and dreams while staring out at the Government Cut waterway. Advantage: You won’t have to pretend you have a drinking problem. Disadvantage: Chances are the guy you meet doesn’t yet realize he has a drinking problem. Vegetarians may also be disappointed. Location: 1 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-673-2800

Best Place to Meet a Nice Jewish Boy or Girl

Aventura Turnberry Jewish Center

We mean that literally. Of course, young Jewish people growing up and procreating with others of their faith is the key to the survival of Judaism, and this Conservative congregation takes its youth programs seriously. So where better for parents to meet potential future sons- or daughters-in-law? In addition to its religious school and the Tauber Academy, a day school for students from 18 months through eighth grade, the Aventura Turnberry Jewish Center hosts its own chapter of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism's international youth organization for Jewish children and teenagers, from grades K-12. Local Youth Kadima chapters participate in socials, trips, get-togethers, holiday observances, community services, Israel awareness and more, according to the synagogue’s Web site, www.atjc.org. ATJC also operates a Young Mishpacha Committee, a collaboration between the synagogue and the school that offers social, religious and educational activities, including teen Shabbat dinner and services, field days and more. With temple membership at nearly 2,000, who needs modern-day matchmaker JDate? Location: 20400 NE 30th Ave., Aventura. Phone: 305-935-0666

Best Place to Heal a Struggling Relationship

The Miami Institute

What better way to heal a frazzled relationship than by being completely honest? Yes, honey, the spark is gone because—well—you kind of let yourself go. So take your mate to the newly opened Miami Institute for Age Management & Intervention, where a comprehensive array of surgical, aesthetic and wellness services await its local, national and international clientele. It’s conveniently located in the Four Seasons Hotel (where you can spend a romantic evening before surgery). "We offer a total age-management program," says Julio F. Gallo, M.D., the Institute’s medical director. The first center of its kind in the U.S., it offers top-of-the-line dental, cosmetic and reconstructive surgeries, with skin care, sports medicine, psychology consultations and vitamin treatments listed among its services. Location: Four Seasons Hotel & Tower, 1441 Brickell Ave., Sky Lobby, Miami. Phone: 305-624-0009

Best Way to Heal a Struggling Sibling Relationship

Run and Get Elected to Public Office

Is your brother or sister annoying? Still have resentment for the time he or she locked you in a closet or accidentally broke your arm? Wonder why mom or dad loved your brother or sister more than you? Chances are such feelings and questions get in the way of a healthy relationship with bro or sis. But there is a way to fix that, especially in Miami-Dade County: Run for public office. Yep, that’s right, you’ll gain respect from your parents and siblings for your selfless desire to serve the public and those bonds can only strengthen on the campaign trail. And, should you get elected, you can help your bro or sis earn some income by allowing them to lobby you on issues, contracts and stuff. What, sounds unseemly, you say? Nonsense, according to Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics Executive Director Robert Meyers, who recently told the Miami Herald it’s not a violation for a sibling to lobby someone who happens to be a brother or sister—brothers and sisters aren’t "immediate family." So it was OK for Florida City Mayor Otis Wallace to push for the annexation of land owned by a client of his sister, Sandy Walker; and it was all right for their sister Miami-Dade County Commissioner Barbara Jordan to vote for said annexation, wanted by Wallace, Walker and Walker’s client Atlantic Civil (which, oh, by the way, plans to sell its land to mega-home builder Lennar). Brother and sisters working together for a common cause, isn’t that something that would make any parent proud? See how public office can help rid you of angst and resentment? Just wait until Christmas and birthdays, when your lobbyist brother or sister shows some appreciation. (Note: To minimize undue attention from the press or future political opponents, it’s best if your lobbyist brother or sister has a different last name than you.)

Best Place for Spontaneous Intimacy

Condo Openings

Free drinks; free gourmet food morsels; male and female models sporting swimwear or lingerie or evening wear or whatever; fireworks; DJs spinning favorites from the ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s and today; optimistic real estate agents looking for a piece of the action; developers in expensive suits with their entourages and bodyguards; politicians in expensive suits with their entourages and bodyguards; Far East-inspired gardens; Italian-inspired kitchens; building designs inspired by the classic silent German film on capitalism’s negative effect on the future (Metropolis); unit prices that range from the "affordable" $200,000 (prior to speculation) to penthouses worth $20 million; the realization that soon you and the object of your affection will be either priced out of living in South Florida or paying mortgages until the sun transforms into a Red Giant and engulfs Earth; the nighttime skyline of Miami in the background—all these ingredients cause a mixture of intoxication, lust, sadness, longing, regret and awe, creating optimum conditions for a spontaneous make-out session on-site and who knows what after.

Best Place for Not-So-Spontaneous Intimacy

Pleasure Emporium

On-site intimacy is probably not recommended. However, Pleasure Emporium has many interesting oils, devices and paraphernalia sure to make that planned intimate experience in the privacy of your home quite delightful. What is a Diving Dolphin? Take a journey to the Emporium and find out. And for those who are solo acts, Pleasure Emporium has a diverse collection of DVDs and personal pleasure items. Locations: 1019 Fifth St., Miami Beach; 1671 Alton Road, Miami Beach; 20600 NW Second Ave., North Miami. Phones: (Fifth Street) 305-673-3311, (Alton Road) 305-538-6434, (North Miami) 305-654-9400

Best Buzz Kill

Hurricane Season 2004

While the MTV guys flew back home, another event was turning in the Atlantic Ocean and heading right for us: Hurricane Frances. The storm system only grazed Miami, plowing instead into the unfortunate folks living in Central Florida. But then there was another storm and another and another. Before long, Miami went from being the center of hip-dom to the city in a state that kept getting whacked by hurricanes. Tourism officials from Miami-Dade and Broward had to launch awareness campaigns to tell the rest of the country and world: "Hey, the hurricanes didn’t hit us." Meanwhile insurance scammers from Dade flooded FEMA with requests for emergency relief.

Best Disaster Scenario

The Real Estate Market Will Tank

Financial whizzes are already setting up funds for investors who, basically, wish to bet on the Florida real estate market "correcting" itself. Realtors based in Miami insist that any "correction" will be mild and the area will always have a certain kind of appeal. But of course, what else are they going to say? "Hey, guys, speculation is really out of control here. Why not hold off on buying that home for a couple of years and see what happens?" Yeah, right.

Runner-Up: Hurricane Season 2005

Best Event for Locals

Art Basel Miami Beach

This is one of the few planned mega-events in South Florida that locals and visitors can partake in and enjoy equally. The best thing about Art Basel is not even its main attraction, an entry-admission affair in the Miami Beach Convention Center showcasing cutting-edge artworks from around the world. Every museum and art gallery in Miami-Dade County puts its best artistic foot forward. And that’s not all; every art dealer and promoter on the planet, it seems, opens temporary showrooms and galleries to strut their stuff. Meanwhile, the Art Basel exhibitors themselves set up free public shows all over Miami and Miami Beach. Businesses profit from the influx of international journalists and cash-laden art collectors, the region benefits from the publicity, and we residents get access to some culture and maybe a few parties. Art Basel Miami Beach—the best of all worlds.

Runner-Up: Art Deco Weekend

One complaint from longtime Art Deco Weekend frequenters about this year’s event was they miss the old food vendors. Sure, Barton G is a gifted and fantastic caterer when it comes to corporate events but just too antiseptic for street fairs. Bring back the good ol’ greasy sustenance longtime Deco Weekend-goers have come to love and expect.

That said, give props to the Weekend’s organizers for finishing strong after the first night’s rain-out. When the skies cleared, locals flocked to Ocean Drive in droves, checking out the trinkets, the free cinema at Lummus Park, the performers and the general South Beach fabulousness.

The 28th annual event didn’t attract the 500,000 attendees hoped for by its organizers, the Miami Design Preservation League, prior to the storm. But thousands still came, the venders still profited and MDPL’s main fundraising event is still going strong.

Best Letdown

Game 7

Two years ago, Major League Baseball’s playoffs provided a pleasant memory for Miamians – and maybe no one else in the country. The Marlins were struggling against an adorable baseball team called the Cubs (like cuddly baby bears, you know?) that hadn’t won a World Series game since baseball was invented. And then, just when a Cubs outfielder looked poised to catch a foul ball for a crucial eighth-inning out, a zealous Windy City fan in the stands snatched that ball right from his mitt. The sportscaster’s reaction said it all: "Whuu… what… why?" The Marlins went on to slaughter the dazed and confused Cubs that game and season, and South Floridians, sensing blood, took great glee in tormenting visiting Cub fans. It was great. It was even better when the Marlins went on to destroy the Yankees in Yankee Stadium in the World Series.

Two years later the karma police came for Miami, dashing hopes the Miami Heat might erase its laughable recent history by winning its first NBA championship. As local basketball fans worshipped Shaquille O’Neal, Dwyane Wade and Eddie Jones, the Heat got as far as a 3-3 tie with the Detroit Pistons in the semifinals. When the critical Game 7 headed back to Miami, locals were confident, and not just because American Airlines Arena is the Heat’s home turf. Reports had surfaced that Piston players – rather than resting up, practicing, praying or whatever you’d expect professional athletes to do before a humongous game – were partying on South Beach. "HAHAHAHAHA!" we thought. No way these bumpkins can function after partying till 5 a.m. Right? Well, no. In the game’s crucial final seconds, the Pistons proved better from the free-throw line. Thus our (in fairness, injured and hurting) Miami Heat was dispersed by a Michigan cold front of very tall, exhausted, hung-over tourists.

Meanwhile, the Florida Marlins’ owners continue to whine they don’t have enough public dollars from the state to build a subsidized stadium that might allow them to stop trading our best players and maybe win another World Series. Coincidence? We think not! Our theory: After those whack jobs from Myth Busters blew up that Cub fan’s wayward baseball on MSNBC’s Countdown, Chicago’s goat curse (now in the form of a chupacabra) made its way to Miami. And right in time for hurricane season.

Best Anticipated Opening

Miami Performing Arts Center

Once simply known as the Performing Arts Center, the facility that will someday serve as the performance-base-of-operations for the Concert Association of Florida, the Florida Grand Opera, the Miami City Ballet, the New World Symphony and the Cleveland Orchestra (whenever that group has the opportunity to escape to Miami) was renamed the Miami Performing Arts Center sometime after county officials revealed that the complex, designed in 1996 and under construction since 2001, would not open until the fall of 2006 and would now cost as much as $412 million in funds from public convention development taxes and private donations.

Still, boosters such as the Miami Herald see light at the end of the tunnel and thus have launched a "Make an Impact" campaign, touting the excitement to come once the 2,400-seat Sanford and Dolores Ziff Ballet Opera House, the 2,000-seat Carnival Concert Hall, the 200-seat "black box" Studio Theater, the Peacock Education Center and the Plaza for the Arts finally open. Hard-hat concerts are held periodically, membership drives are in full swing, and an entire neighborhood has been rechristened the Miami Arts District as various developers and property owners (Cough! One Herald Plaza) promote their proximity to the MPAC. (Sidebar commentary: The convention development tax on hotel rooms countywide should probably be renamed the "residential development tax.")

In short, it will be reeeeeally embarrassing if the MPAC (impact, MPAC… get it?) is delayed and becomes more costly yet again due to bad steel or communication problems or low tide or chupacabra curse or whatever. All eyes are on you, MPAC builders. Openopenopenopen.

Best Up-and-Coming Neighborhood

Upper Eastside

Some 15,000 residents live in the neighborhoods of Magnolia Park, Bay Point, Morningside, Bayside, Palm Bay, Palm Grove, Belle Meade and Shorecrest – which together comprise the Upper Eastside, an area that retains a cozy, small-town feeling. Well, at least for now. The developers have arrived, especially in the vicinity of the Biscayne corridor, and already developer-versus-residents conflicts are cropping up.

Sometimes these disagreements are settled amicably. Sometimes they aren’t and projects are tied up in court. At any rate, a strong sense of community is solidifying here in the Upper Eastside; a lot of nice restaurants, boutiques, shops and galleries have opened; and hopefully the nice neighborhood feeling won’t be obliterated by the tide of development, rising property values and Biscayne Boulevard construction.

Best Neighborhood

South Pointe

Forget this "South of Fifth" crap proposed by developers who seek to remake this part of South Beach in their own image. South of Fifth Street (south of Sixth Street to be exact) will always remain in our hearts as the nifty neighborhood that managed to prosper in the 1990s in spite of the best efforts of the city of Miami Beach who happily used all tax dollars collected in that area to create a fund that benefited attorneys, consultants, certain property owners and basically no one else. Now in the new century, South Pointe is a place where low- and mid-rise condos and apartments dominate in the interior and where walls of modern high-rises line anything considered waterfront. Better yet, the city has now figured out that tax dollars collected in these areas should go to things that actually benefit that area.

Best Disappearing Neighborhood

Bay Road, South of 17th Street

This street-end sort of neighborhood has — or had — a nice vibe to it. Sure, the parking sucks, much like anywhere else in South Beach, but the light is wonderful at dusk as the sun sets.

Too bad some people won’t be around to enjoy it much longer, at least not as residents of the area and especially for folks (un)fortunate enough to live right on the bay. Low-rise buildings that once stood along the bay at the end of 16th Street and Lincoln Terrace have now been reduced to piles of rubble. More buildings are set for demolition, too, as property owners draw up condo-conversion plans to sell residences along the bay at $750,000 and up.

Runner-Up: Collins Avenue Between 21st and 44th streets

It was too good to be true, living less than a block away from the beach and paying under $600 a month. Time, improvements to neighboring hotels, future condo development projects and the business acumen of property owners took care of that. Now renters are faced with choices such as paying at least 50 percent more a month to stay in the place they now live or heading someplace else, away from water and the beach. Ahhh, the water… it can be a harsh mistress.

Best Exploited Neighborhood

Coconut Grove

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.

That could be the official motto of Coconut Grove if it were its own city. Actually once upon a time this dominion of Miami was its own city. Then, in 1925, while everyone was out of town, Miami decided to hold an election and annex the Grove and a few other neighboring cities. The "Cocoanut Grove Village Council" (as they like to sometimes spell it) is now little more than an advisory board for the Miami City Commission that usually tries to retain some of the area’s green, low-rise character — the very same thing that’s attracted developers. Often the Village Council recommends against zoning increases. And often the council is ignored.

Still, it is a sight to behold, watching Coconut Grovers fret over every zoning increase. The way it works is this: A property owner argues for a density increase because properties near him have a certain zoning. Then, once granted, a property owner adjacent to that one makes the same argument. And so on and so on and so on.

Miami 21 promises to make such ad-hoc zoning a thing of the past — in a couple of years. By then the "village" will have been replaced by a megapolis.

Runner-Up: Edgewater

Alright, fine. This Miami neighborhood was technically a borderline crack hole before developers began buying up parcels with the intent of building secluded residential regions with very, very, very tall towers as their centerpieces. Yet Edgewater was hit by a wave of demolitions (at least one of them without a permit) after Miami increased the zoning of this low-rise, waterfront area. Some historic homes have been lost and some homeowners are becoming increasingly wary over the amount of traffic these new projects will generate. Oh, and the wide open access to the bay that’s currently available? That will soon get a little more restrictive. Then again, many will argue that while anyone could walk over and fish on the bay in years past, few members of the public dared to do so because of the area’s somewhat desolate appearance.

Best New Hotel

Sanctuary Hotel

This chic new hotspot is generating all positive buzz from the SoBe crowd. Guests love it; locals have given up previous favorites The Shore Club and Casa Tua for it, so there must be something to it. Ultra-successful owner Keith Menin has created the hottest stargazing spot to see and be seen at. Oh, and ladies, there’s even a spa. Location: 1745 James Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-673-5455

Best Hotel

The Delano

Time to give Ian Schrager props for his monument to his sense of style and taste that has been attracting the rich, the famous, the friends of the rich and famous, the hipsters, and the young and extremely beautiful to that part of Collins since the controversial former partner of Studio 54 re-opened the joint in 1995. That’s 10 years ago. In South Beach terms anything in the super-hype category that stays popular for more than, say, a couple of years is a miracle. In the Delano’s case it’s the acclaimed Blue Door restaurant, the roof top Aqua spa, the stylish infinity pool and bar, the Phillipe Starck-decorated lobby , the employees dressed in white and the staff policy of never having to say you’re sorry. That’s right, according to a well-placed hotel employee, no one is allowed to apologize to guests over complaints. They are to simply take care of the problem or tell their superiors. If the complaint is far beyond what can be taken care of, the guest is advised that he or she can stay someplace else. The basic ideal: Leave guests with the impression that they should be on their knees thanking God that they are staying in the freaking Delano. So far the strategy is working but, as more hotels in Miami and Miami Beach tweak the style concept, it isn’t clear how much longer the Schrager philosophy of hospitality will last. Location: 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-672-2000

Best Hotel Resort

The Raleigh

Nipping at Ian Schrager’s heels, Standard Hotels founder Andre Balazs purchased the already cool and happening Raleigh Hotel and made it, for lack of a better term, cooler. (You try to think of synonyms after writing 150 or so "Best" categories.) Don’t believe us? Go over for a visit and marvel at the cascading waterfall and the recent enhancements to the Raleigh’s garden. Media outlets such as The New York Times have fawned over Balasz’s sense of style and even compared the entrepreneur to Schrager.

Since both Schrager and Balasz have stylish hotel chains all over the country, this could lead to a kind of nasty contest where the two battle it out for the King of Hip title.

So could it happen? Could Balasz become the new ruler of sense and style? Yeah, Balasz has a shot at taking that title if he wants it bad enough, especially if Balasz decides to play dirty, like say finding Schrager’s cell number and calling him at odd hours of the day and night through untraceable lines just to throw him off.

Ring…

Schrager: "Hello?"

Balasz: "Meooooow…. Meoowwww."

Schrager: "What the f---? Who is this?"

Click

[Three hours and five crank calls later…]

Ring…

Schrager: "Hello?"

Balasz (playing tape recording of original Batman movie): "Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?"

Schrager: "What the… What the &^%$ are you talking about?"

Balasz (playing tape recording): "It’s something that I ask all my prey. I just like the sound of it."

Schrager: Listen you ^&*^*^*&^^, when I find out who you are I’ll….

Click.

Ring…

Naah, that wouldn’t be the stylish think to do, hence why Balasz is the owner of the Raleigh and we are in an office 15 hours a day writing "Best ofs." Location: 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-534-6300

Best Hotel Where You Won’t Find Hippies

InterContinental Miami

They aren’t likely to afford a hotel stay at such a four-star resort hotel in the first place, but after being pummeled by police officers for the crime of being anywhere near the hotel diplomats were staying and meeting at during the Free Trade Area of the Americas summit with the intent of being against free trade, the 21st century flower children are likely to go into a fetal position at the very sight of the monolithic tower. Hence why it will be a perfect site for the next Republican National Convention.

Location: 100 Chopin Plaza, Miami. Phone: 305-577-1000

Best Art Deco Hotel

Cadillac Hotel

Only a few architects are renowned for their pre-World War II SoBe creations. Among the few, the proud, the Art Deco designers is Roy France. One of the best examples of his work can be found outside of chic South Beach in the under-appreciated oceanfront Mid-Beach district: The Cadillac Hotel.

Constructed in 1940, the Cadillac Hotel was faithfully restored and modernized by the Courtyard by Marriott people, allowing passersby to behold this monument of another era while guests enjoy poolside and indoor dining and libations from Carrabba’s Italian Grill, as well as amenities such as a gym and the outdoor pool.

The only downer is the insistence of Courtyard and the tourism industry that the Cadillac be referred to as "The Courtyard by Marriott Miami Beach Oceanfront Hotel" or the "Former Cadillac Hotel." C’mon kids, it still says "Cadillac" on the main façade. To deny that is as illogical as the Tiffany Company’s insisting that "The Tiffany" Hotel, another treasured Beach Deco property, no longer be referred to as such. Downright stuffy, we say. Location: 3925 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-538-3373

Best Hotel Restoration

Copley Plaza Circa 39 Hotel

Constructed in 1939, the Circa 39 Hotel fell on hard times in recent years. We mean real, real hard, as in "derelicts, hoes, pimps and drug dealers are welcome" hard. Now reopened, Circa 39 has been transformed from a half-star hostel into a chic 82-room boutique hotel complete with bar and lounge, mini food market, 500-square-foot meeting room "think tank," and an outdoor pool. Location: 3900 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-538-4900

Best Hotel Location

Cadet Hotel

For the South Beach-bound, the Cadet Hotel remains among the best strategically located facilities a body can book without spending $350 a night. We’re talking "don’t even bother renting a car" strategic for those who don’t plan to venture much further than Dade Boulevard. Lincoln Road, Collins Avenue, Washington Avenue, the Beach … all are mere minutes away by foot, bike or cab. Why spend your life’s savings at SoBe’s "super-cool hotels" like the Delano, Raleigh, Loews and (especially) the Sanctuary, when you can stay at the Cadet and walk over to those super-cool bar and restaurant amenities whenever the desire hits?

But the Cadet offers more than proximity to everything. The rooms of this Art Deco hotel boast mini-bars, safe deposit boxes, Direct TV, a hairdryer, ironing board and telephone with voice mail service. Guests also get a complimentary continental breakfast on Cadet’s outdoor terrace, free newspaper, concierge services and, God forbid you need one, a doctor on service. Location: 1701 James Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-672-6688

Best Boutique Hotel

Indian Creek Hotel

Sometimes a hotel just has to be a hotel. The Indian Creek Hotel does that: It provides a comfortable, unique environment for travelers to stay and relax. Actually, Indian Creek has no choice as its restaurant closed a couple years ago. That said, Indian Creek’s rooms are perhaps among the most, well, cozy in all of Miami Beach. Each of the 61 air-conditioned rooms is equipped with Cable TV, a refrigerator, telephones and a writing desk. There is daily maid service and we do mean daily – many a guest has marveled over how spotless the Indian Creek rooms are.

And then there’s the time-machine factor. Constructed in 1936, Indian Creek is acclaimed for its extremely faithful historic renovation. In fact, the first thing a guest sees upon entering the lobby is a stack of Deco-luggage apparently left behind by a forgetful Depression-era traveler, and a primitive adding machine. Oh, and those writing desks in the rooms? They come with a typewriter.

Even though the Indian Creek is currently without a restaurant it forever has its beautiful, picturesque poolside courtyard complete with a water fountain and shade trees. The pool? It’s spotless, just like the rooms. Location: 2727 Indian Creek Drive, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-531-5651

Best Stylistic Hotel Stay

Marlin Hotel

The Marlin Bar has long been known as a watering hole for the tragically hip and the decadence-seeking tourist to have a few cocktails, listen to some quality music, talk about whatever the hip and tourists talk about and gaze at models entering and leaving the Beach office of Elite Modeling Agency, maybe bump into a pop star recording a few tracks at the South Beach Studios.

But did you know the Marlin Bar is located in a… drum roll please…hotel?

Yep, there are many South Beach bars and restaurants so distinctive it’s easy to forget they’re housed in a facility whose main purpose is providing visitors a place to stay. Well, let us remind you: The Marlin Hotel is not just the home of a happenin’ bar, a branch of a world-renowned modeling agency and a state-of-the-art recording studio used by U2, Aerosmith, Grace Jones, Beyonce Knowles and Nine Inch Nails. The Marlin Hotel is a hotel, damn it, where the sophisticated traveler (read: someone with a liberal budget) can book one of 12 suites. All guests are treated to in-room massages, laundry and dry cleaning services and rooms are equipped with microwaves, coffeemakers, refrigerators, mini-bars, safe deposit boxes, modem data ports, cable and other amenities. Location: 1200 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-604-5063

Best Customized Hotel Rooms

The Pelican

What happens when a designer clothing line opens a South Beach hotel? The answer is The Pelican – that cool joint with the tasty brunch buffets that club junkies journey to when they’re exhausted, hung over and in desperate need of nourishment, now owned by the Italian clothing company Diesel. Being designers, Diesel decided to decorate each room with a unique theme. Executive Fifties, for example, transports you to an easier time when the "Florida room" became a household name. Executive Zebra is inspired by the black-and-white stripes of the horse-like mammal. Bang-a-Boomerang is apparently Diesel’s salute to the wacky Australian-Aboriginal throwing instrument. Best Whorehouse sets the mood for those romantic, intimate encounters. Me Tarzan, You Vain is perfect for someone seeking that jungle setting in the middle of South Beach. And Born in the Stars and Stripes will be sought by those SoBe visitors oh-so-proud to be American. All rooms have a refrigerator, a personally coded safe, wireless Internet center and an "on command" entertainment center. Call the Pelican to ask for a tour or log on to www.pelicanhotel.com, a highly interactive Web site that treats visitors to a repeated loop of down-tempo music that, after 20 minutes or so, mercifully shuts down. Location: 826 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-673-3373

Best Hotel Lobby

The Sagamore

Not only does this beautiful lobby feature cool terrazzo floors, white rounded columns, a central faux-fireplace and a pink-marble desk with angled mahogany sides, but also an extensive reading room and rotating exhibition of artists that includes Carlos Betancourt, Christine Borland, Tseng Kwong Chi, Tina Dietz, Sheila Elias, Olafur Elaiasson, Walker Evans, Michelle Feder, Wesley Kimler, Tom Lieber, Mark Miloff, Vik Muniz, Udo Noger, Shimon Oksheyn, Dan Peterson, Liza May Post, Thomas Rose, Allan Sekula, Carolyn Shave, Sterz, David Stoltz, Till Freiwald, Massimo Viali, Donna Rosenthal and Yasuhiro Ishimoto. Location: 1671 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-535-8088

Best Hotel Spa

The Ritz-Carlton Spa, South Beach

The elite savvy no longer need to travel to Paris for pampering as La Maison de Beaute Carita has opened its first signature spa outside of Paris at the Ritz-Carlton, South Beach.

This full-service Temple of Beauty is 16,000 square feet with 14 treatment rooms, a "Power Shower" with 23 body sprays, a fitness center featuring cardiovascular and weight training equipment, luxurious relaxation lounges, a full-service salon and two couple's suites – one with a floor to ceiling window overlooking lively South Beach. Oceanfront exercise classes and a variety of outdoor activities are also available.

It was the only spa on South Beach to be named a 2005 America's Best Hotel and Resort Spa. The Ritz-Carlton Spa, South Beach and is among only 47 spas nationwide to receive Mobil Travel Guide’s prestigious four-star rating. Location: 1 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach. Phone: 786-276-4090

Best Spa

Touch Spa

Get relaxed by Touch, one of Miami Beach’s top spas. It offers a variety of massages as well as acupuncture and colonics. Trouble with your back or neck? Get it checked out by the in-house chiropractor. Then relax with a full-body rubdown from a specially trained masseuse. What makes Touch different from your run-of-the-mill spa is its intimacy. Don’t let its small size fool you; it’s to your benefit. The staff at Touch takes pride in their efficiency and tries to develop a special and personal relationship with each customer. They also take time to explain things. Customers will leave feeling great and more knowledgeable about how to take care of themselves. Open Monday to Saturday 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Location: 1000 Lincoln Rd., Suite 240, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-673-5133

Best Beach

Virginia Key Beach

Best beach to bring your car, cooler, barbecue, etc. The city of Miami’s Virginia Key Beach has been popular with weekend beach bums for years. You can drive your car/truck and park it next to where you lay your towel. People like to bring their grills and coolers and set up right where the waves break. On the weekends, local radio stations often broadcast from the beach and it is typically packed. Bring a towel and get ready to mingle because you’ll be elbow to elbow with all the other beachgoers. For more information about the beach’s history and preservation efforts, visit www.virginiakeybeachpark.net. Location: Virginia Key (on Key Biscayne off the Rickenbacker Causeway). Phone: 305-571-8230

Best Marathon Day Trip

Key West/Dry Tortugas

You have to wake up early to make this day trip, but you'll thank yourself later. Your first destination is the island of Key West. The drive is a reward in itself:  blue water, lazy pelicans, conch fritters and ice-cold beer (none for driver). You reach the island, run straight for Sloppy Joe's and wait for the 2 p.m. flight to the Dry Tortugas. The 45-minute flight skims across the ocean close enough for you to recognize and photograph dolphins, groupers, sharks and coral reefs. You land on the water beside Fort Jefferson, a 19th-century military fortress, and snorkel, eat or nap the afternoon away. The sun will begin to set on your way back to Key West, but you'll make it in time to have a cold one on Mallory Square before it sets for good. Then ask yourself if you really want to go home, rent yourself a room and go fishing in the morning!

Best Half-Day Trip

John Pennekamp Snorkeling Tours

If you want to disconnect for a while, take the hour-long drive to Key Largo and hop on one of their boats for a snorkeling tour in Bahia Honda State Park. Our favorite is the Salsa, a sailboat that takes you out into the Atlantic and makes you feel like you’re on a Caribbean vacation for a day. It’s affordable (about $35 dollars per person for a half-day cruise), it’s relaxing, and it’s beautiful. Getting out on the reef and enjoying the underwater scenery is better stress relief than any therapy session or yoga class on South Beach can offer. Location: Mile marker 102.5, Key Largo. Phone: 305-451-6300

Best Up-and-Coming Synagogue

Temple Israel of Greater Miami

Temple Israel’s Star of David seems to be on the rise. A product of its changing inner city locale, it has become something of a religious magnet for the urban hipster crowd (developer Craig Robins, Florida Grand Opera director Robert Heuer and attorney Elizabeth Schwartz, to name a few), while retaining its loyal core of generations of area Reform Jews (criminal defense attorney Joel Hirschhorn, radio personality Audrey Finkelstein, architect Kenneth Treister and the Gumenick family, among others). But the Temple Israel of today is not your grandfather’s shul. The rabbi rides a motorcycle. The cantorial soloist is a statuesque Argentinean jazz singer who’s been known to wear stiletto heels on the pulpit. The temple welcomes gays, hosting a "Pride" seder among other outreach events. The music director, Alan Mason, is a New World Symphony alum who programs a diverse concert series in addition to leading the choir. "Temple Israel of Greater Miami is a paradox. We’re the oldest Reform shul in Miami with the oldest temple building in town. But we also have some of the most cutting-edge religious and educational programming not only in our region, but anywhere. We’re building new traditions on the shoulders of the old ones," states the Temple Israel home page, www.templeisrael.net. Mitchell Chefitz joined as the congregation’s rabbi in 2002. A respected author and recognized national authority in Jewish spiritual study including Kabbalah, he’s largely responsible for the temple’s new image – though timing can’t be denied either. "We are not a suburban temple in any sense of the word," notes the Web site. "Our neighborhood is smack in the middle of Miami’s emerging arts district, five minutes from downtown and just blocks from the future Performing Arts Center." With all this going for it, Temple Israel seems to be in the right place at the right time for a revival, spiritual and otherwise. Location: 137 NE 19th St., Miami. Phone: 305-573-5900

Best Place to See a Wannabe

Prime 112

"The noise was so annoying that it was impossible to have a conversation with the person next to you and the customers were so poorly dressed that it seemed we were having dinner at McDonald's." This was from a review of Prime 112 posted on the Miami Beach 411 Web site. Others spoke of good food, shaky service and the restaurant management’s tendency to overbook. But is it the management’s fault or the "look-at-me’s" who are to blame? Face it, if a person is unimaginative in his or her attire, chances are he or she will simply migrate to the "It" place of the moment, which happens to be Prime 112—the Best Place to See a Loud, Badly Dressed Person. Also the 18 percent tip is added immediately to the bill. This is critical as the wannabe is infamous for poor math skills. Location: 112 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-532-8112

Best Crowd Magnet

"Femininity Day" March on Lincoln Road

Each year members of a "movement" known as the Raelians meet at Washington Avenue and Lincoln Road to march for what their leader, "Rael," calls Femininity Day – their takeoff on Women’s Day. The group’s first attempt two years ago was kind of a bust as they competed for attention with Renaissance Day. But this past March the press and curious onlookers followed the slow-moving Raelians as they were led by former Playboy playmate and current Rael consort Sophie de Niverville and former Rael consort and hot Japanese babe Lisa Lumiere. Did we mention the ladies were practically topless, their nipples covered only by pink pasties? As reporters and tourists aimed cameras at the lovelies, Raelians distributed pink flyers explaining the origins of their movement, founded by Claude "Rael" Vorilhon. A former race car driver, Rael’s life apparently took another route when he met an alien member of the Elohim race who informed him he is a prophet, charged with telling humans there is no God and mankind was created by extraterrestrials. The main covenants of the Rael order are revering the Elohim, guilt-free consensual sex and working toward human cloning; the more attractive Raelians are often used to help make their point. Most likely the Raelians got a few converts last March. And they’ll be back next year, bringing stories to journalists on slow news days, amusement to tourists and joy to adolescent boys fortunate to have cameras. Happy Femininity Day!

Best Place on the Beach to Get Your Car Washed

South Beach Finest Hand Carwash

The crew at South Beach Finest Hand Carwash believes in "doing the job right the first time." No detail is too small. They cover every nook and cranny, from vacuuming the interior to wiping down tires and door jambs. Customers can relax either inside the air-conditioned facility or outdoors in comfortably shaded seating areas. South Beach Finest hand-washes cars, SUVs, full-sized trucks and mini-vans. They’ll do specialty items too, such as motorcycles and Hummers. South Beach Finest Hand Carwash also offers weekly specials and window tinting by Solar Gard. Location: 1229 18th St., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-604-9282

Best Opiate of the Masses

Florida Lottery

Ah yes, how we do love that lottery. You can be one of the most sensible, practical and logical of individuals but you still religiously buy a Quick Pick on Fridays. We adore dreaming of that possibility, spending our millions before they’ve been won. But don’t feel guilty; for just one legal tender you not only keep your millionaire fantasy but also help our local schools. Walk into any gas station on a Wednesday or Saturday evening and you will see us there, queued up for our slice of the American Dream. Web site: www.flalottery.com

Best Way to Prepare for Your In-Laws

Aventura Finest Hand Car Wash

Are we ever really prepared to meet our in-laws…well, no. But we can do our best to look presentable in hopes they will accept us. The best way we’ve found is by getting your wheels polished before heading to the airport. Won’t Mom and Dad love sitting in the trash-free back seat, taking in that new-car smell? A bit of peace of mind goes a long way when you’re arguing about where to take them for lunch. Location: 18851 NE 29th Ave., Aventura. Phone: 305-936-9929

Best Place to Jog

Old Cutler Trail

Beginning at the traffic circle where Old Cutler, Sunset and Le Jeune roads intersect, an uninterrupted paved trail parallels Old Cutler Road heading south as far as Southwest 105th Street. Whether you’re a dedicated runner or a weekend hack, you’ll fall in love with this tree-lined route as you traverse some of the most scenic territory in the county, through the lush neighborhoods of Coral Gables and past well-known attractions such as Matheson Hammock Park and Fairchild Tropical Garden. Most important, it’s flat, it’s shady, and it’s free for you to enjoy. Location: Old Cutler Road from Cocoplum Circle at Southwest 72nd Street to Southwest 105th Street

Best Pet Vacation

Bark Ave. Pet Resort

Scared your pet might take to chewing up your shoes, urinating on your bed or clawing up your furniture in protest at being left home alone? (Well, the chewing and clawing – we think they do that for pure pleasure.) Anyway, to avoid hassles while you’re away, why not leave your cat or dog at its very own pet resort? At Bark Ave. Pet Resort, pooches and felines are treated like the important guests they are. Staff members dispense medication as needed, provide companionship, and offer fun exercises and activities. Bark Ave. also provides day care for pets who can’t take being home alone during the day and peace of mind for you, knowing your furniture will be intact when you return. Location: 1400 S. Federal Highway, Hollywood. Phone: 954-925-BARK

Best Way to Predict Your Future

Psychic Ann

Make your (required) appointment early: Friends come in groups for Psychic Ann’s services. Nothing spooky – she does her readings in an inviting, homey space and gives clients all of her attention. (For those who want to be discreet about their business, Psychic Ann offers a private back-door entrance.) The spiritual healer says she can foresee a lover’s future, find a soul mate, perform past-life readings and reunite loved ones. If nothing else, at least you’ll be amused. Location: 1462 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 786-276-9593

Best Car Wash in Miami

The Car Wash                       

Located off US 1 and 34th Avenue, you can watch your car being washed while you sip a soda. There are three car-washing options to choose from: The Daily ($9.95), The Deluxe ($14.95) and The Works ($19.95). The Daily ($9.95) is a simple vacuum and drive-thru wash similar to what you would do in a hurry. The Works ($19.95), however, is the total opposite. It includes full indoor detailing of the door panel, dashboard and centerpiece, with a full exterior wash and wax job of the doorjambs, tires, windows and mirrors. And The Deluxe ($14.95) falls somewhere in between. In any case, sitting back in the indoor lounge, deciding whether to drink Arizona tea or a cappuccino, beats cleaning the car in the summer sun. Location: 3400 S. Dixie Highway, Miami. Phone: 305-443-4444

Best Trainers

The Training Zone   

Located in the heart of Lake View suburb in Miami Beach (behind Fisher Park), this is one place where you might find stay-at-home moms, old retirees, real estate agents, city officials and broadcasting personalities all working out. But unlike a regular gym, this is for personal training purposes only. Let them kick your butt in shape! Or at least come in to see how fat local celebrities truly are. Location: 704 W. 51st St., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-865-2200

Best Reason to Leave Town in Summer

Hurricane Season

If this year is anything like last, we’re in for some big storms. With a record-breaking four hurricane hits, Florida was not a fun place to be in 2004. If forecasters are right, this season promises to be just as insane. For beach people this means evacuations, long lines and the tedious task of putting up and taking down shutters. Save yourself the stress by boarding up and heading North when the wind picks up. National Hurricane Center Web site: www.nhc.noaa.gov.

Best South Beach Trend

Dogs

Whether you adore them or can’t stand them, it’s time to accept we are living on a dog-eat-dog beach. From the teacup to the Great Dane, you will get an eyeful at South Beach’s biggest new dog park: Lincoln Road. Most of the city establishments are now dog friendly, some catering specifically to pooches. The city has launched a new pooper-scooper pilot program to try to convince people to clean up after their "kids." Dog Bar’s business is booming and little sailor-suited pups are being carried, walked and strollered all over town.

Best Gym Class

Videography @ Crunch

Feed your unhealthy obsession with reality TV pop stars at Crunch. Pretend you’re shaking your stuff for P. Diddy as you learn funky choreography and get a workout simultaneously. It’s just high-impact enough not to be painful. Surrounded by SoBe hardbodies, you too may find your inner idol. Move your groove thang Tuesday and Friday nights. Location: 1259 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-674-8222

Best Place to Get Your Bearings

Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau

This public-private, not-for-profit sales and marketing organization has partnerships with over 1,000 business members and four local governments, including Miami-Dade County, the city of Miami Beach, the city of Miami and the village of Bal Harbour. With all its connections and members the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau is definitely the best place to get your bearings, whether you want to find out about business or leisure. Location: 701 Brickell Ave., Suite 2700, Miami. Phone: 305-539-3000

Best Tour

Duck Tours

If this isn’t one of the most fun tours in the Magic City, it definitely takes the prize for most unique. This 90-minute, air and sea adventure uses an amphibious vehicle to show you the sites in the Art Deco District, downtown Miami, Millionaires’ Row and much more. Tickets, which also give you a dramatic splashdown into Biscayne Bay, cost $25.68. Location: 1668 James Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 1-877-DUCK-TIX

Best Place to Wash the Dog

Sobe Dog-O-Matic

South Beach apartment and home bathrooms can be small and cramped. At Sobe Dog-O-Matic, customers find the space and attention to clean their canine companions with care. The store offers grooming, self-service or full-service bathing, flea treatments, dog fragrances, food, art and other exotic dog-related accessories.

"We try to find the things that you wouldn't normally find in your average everyday pet store," said owner Andy Paskow. Customers can come in and bathe their dog in one of the many luxurious bathtubs. Prices range from $10 to $15, which includes all soaps, shampoos, and other equipment. Customers can also relax and watch in-house groomer Max Grabina style their dog to perfection using only a pair of scissors. Prices range from $35 to $100. Location: 933 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-403-0405

Best Dog Park

Kennedy Dog Park

This Coconut Grove spot is a perfect place to begin or end the day. There’s nothing but you, the dog run and a seaside view of the endless Atlantic. Our best piece of advice would be to look down; not everyone is as courteous as you about picking up after furry friends. Location: 2200 S. Bayshore Drive, Coconut Grove. Phone: 305-575-5256

Best Natural View

The Lighthouse at Bill Baggs Cape, Florida State Park

Sure Miami offers spectacular water views, but you have to own one of those fancy million-dollar high-rise condos to enjoy them, right? Wrong! The city’s most stunning panorama is accessible for just $5, which covers the cost of entry (per car) to Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park and a tour of its historic lighthouse, the oldest standing structure in Miami-Dade County. Those with the stamina to climb the 109 steps to the watchtower are rewarded with a sweeping 360-degree view of the Magic City and its watery environs that is simply unsurpassed. Just make sure you get there on time. Tours start at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. sharp Thursday through Monday, and visitors should arrive one-half hour early to register. Location: 1200 S. Crandon Blvd., Key Biscayne. Phone: 305-361-5811

Best Park

Oleta River State Park

One of the best things about living in Miami is the ability to get away without actually going away. Aside from miles of beaches, residents who want to enjoy the great outdoors have a number of city and state parks to choose from. The best of these is Oleta River State Park for its convenient location, bay access, sheer size, and the variety of recreational activities available. For example, some may scoff at the idea of mountain biking in our flat state, but they probably aren’t aware Oleta offers miles of challenging, off-road biking trails (complete with hills, sharp turns and treacherous tree roots). Don’t have a bike? You can rent one there. Kayaking around beautiful Biscayne Bay is also an option, thanks to a small outfitter that rents gear by the hour. Fishing is permitted, pavilions and grills for picnicking abound, and there’s a 1,200-foot-long beach for swimming and basking in the sun. Grownups and kids will find a day at Oleta is a great adventure. Location: 3400 NE 163rd St., North Miami. Phone: 305-919-1846

Best Picnic Spot

Crandon Gardens (inside Crandon Park)

Crandon Gardens is a quiet little slice of heaven that is utterly serene yet totally accessible. Located on the east side of Crandon Park, on land once home to the now-defunct Crandon Park Zoo, this teeming oasis of flora and fauna is the perfect place to spend the day under a shady tree with a picnic basket. The watchful visitor will observe geese, ducks, swans, and other waterfowl, as well as songbirds, peacocks, iguanas, and a host of other critters. Just don’t feed the animals! Location: 4000 Crandon Blvd., Key Biscayne. Phone: 305-361-5421

Best Day Out With the Kids

Miami Seaquarium

Whether 5 years old or 20, children and parents alike will have a superb time here. One of South Florida's most popular tourist attractions, the Miami Seaquarium is a family-oriented marine-life park open to the public 365 days a year. It provides visitors an understanding and appreciation for marine life through presentations, shows and marine-life exhibits that entertain as well as teach, while also capturing nature's beauty. This year the park is launching its 50 days of Fun summer celebration in commemoration of Miami Seaquarium's much-anticipated 50th anniversary. Sure there’s that little Lolita controversy, but the Alliance of Marine Mammal Parks and Aquariums, an international organization committed to the care and conservation of marine mammals, has made Miami Seaquarium an accredited member. This means the facility meets or exceeds all standards of excellence for marine care, husbandry, conservation and education. Location: 4400 Rickenbacker Causeway, Virginia Key in Key Biscayne. Phone: 305-361-5705

Best Day In With the Kids

Miami Children’s Museum

Imagine. You’re on your way over the MacArthur Causeway for a day at the beach with the family when the sky turns ominous, lightning flashes and the resulting thunder clap sets your 2-year-old off screaming. Now what?

Founded in 1983, the Miami Children’s Museum opened its new building on Watson Island in September of 2003. This 56,500-square-foot nonprofit educational facility includes 12 galleries, classrooms, parent/teacher resource center, a gift shop, a 200-seat auditorium, a Subway restaurant and, best of all, a roof to shield you and your little ones from the thunderstorm outside! Let your rugrats tear through the museum, which offers bilingual, interactive exhibits; programs and classes and learning materials related to arts, culture, community and communication. If this sounds boring compared to, say, Wannado City or Dave and Buster’s, think again (and "think" is the operative word here). Fun activities like the Creative Island Summer Camp or the Husky Gang costume party, theater classes and exhibits like the giant piggy bank, Health and Wellness Center and Pet Central are a great way to keep your spawns’ gray matter stimulated, so the gray outside won’t matter. Open daily from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. MCM members and children under 12 months old get in free; other adults and children pay $10. City of Miami residents receive half off admission. Location: 980 MacArthur Causeway, Miami; ww.miamichildrensmuseum.org. Phone: 305-373-5437

Best Tennis Court

Crandon Park Tennis Center

When it comes to tennis courts, what better place than where the pros train and play? The Crandon Park Tennis Center is home to the Nasdaq-100 Open tennis tournament and is also open year-round for amateurs to brush up on their game. The Tennis Center is a USTA player development site, so in season you can often find a tennis pro training on one of the courts. With 26 courts to choose from, there’s always room for a quick game. The Tennis Center also offers three different surface types: hard, green and red clay, and grass. Court fees are $3 per person, per hour for hard courts and $5 at night; $6 per person, per hour for clay courts; $8 per person, per hour for grass; and $10 per person, per hour for stadium courts. The tennis center is kid-friendly: Rates for child players are lower on some of the courts. Because of the tournament, the courts are all resurfaced every year. Location: 7300 Crandon Blvd., Key Biscayne. Phone: 305-365-2300

Best Vacation Club

Miami Cruise Center

Setting sail aboard a cruise ship can be a magical experience. The salt water, starry night skies, arriving at new destinations aboard these floating cities is incredible. Having been in the business for 50-plus years, these cruise experts are quite experienced at helping clients achieve a worry-free land or cruise vacation. Being best sellers of cruises for companies such as Carnival Cruise Lines, Radisson Seven Seas Cruises and Norwegian Cruise Lines Captain’s Club Agency establishes preferred-supplier relationships: Cruise companies give Miami Cruise Center better prices that they in turn can pass on to their clients. Location: www.miamicruisecenter.com. Phone: 305-864-222

Best Multi-Task Web Site

Livingnight.com

With LivingNight.com and all its services, you can get into the hottest nightclubs in South Beach, meet your soul mate and book a flight to Tahiti, all from the comfort of your living room (or if you have Wi-Fi you technically could do it from anywhere). This hybrid Web site offers varied resources including its dating service (livingdating.com), discount travel company (livingnighttravel.com), and all-inclusive Miami nightlife information source (livingnight.com).

Best Senior Community

Miami Jewish Hospital and Home for the Aged

Leaving a loved one in an assisted living facility is difficult. This campus eases the process by providing quality health care and assisted living for the elderly in a tropical and friendly atmosphere. On site are an aviary for patients and residents to enjoy, an old-fashioned ice cream parlor, a beauty/barber shop and a marketplace. The nursing home has continually been highly rated by Florida’s Agency for Health Care administration. Therapeutic recreational activities, a significant component of health care, are available for the elders. Spanish classes, bingo, charades, and a pet therapy program are a few of the many activities. The center also provides in-home services to frail elderly residents of Miami-Dade and Broward counties. Visit online for more details of its many services at www.douglasgardens.com/index.html. Location: 5200 NE Second Ave., Miami. Phone: 305-751-8626

Best Organization Helping to Revitalize North Beach

North Beach Development Corporation

A nonprofit community development organization, North Beach Development makes it its business to promote the economic and physical revitalization of North Beach. The group has successfully completed a number of facade projects that include Panna Café, Happy Kids Day Care, RK Storefronts in Normandy Village and Victoria’s Beach Ware. NBDC also played a major role in helping the city of Miami Beach to buy the Byron Carlyle Theater for its transformation into a cultural arts center. Different working committees focus on capital improvement projects, residential development, marketing and arts in North Beach. Members are people who reside, own property, own a business or work in the North Beach area. Location: 210 71st St., Suite #310, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-865-4147

Best Dry Cleaner

Sudsies Dry Cleaning and Laundry

When Jason Loeb’s not deciding the fate of housing and commercial projects as chair of the Miami Beach Zoning Board, he’s cleaning the clothes of developers … and teachers, realtors, plumbers, publishers, writers, bankers and lobbyists and, well, practically anyone who takes pride in their clothing. Now, thanks to Loeb’s boundless energy and determination, his dry cleaning establishment cleans the clothes of those living all over South Florida—as in cities located in Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach. Loeb, whose business is based in North Beach, accomplished this by organizing a fleet of vans and offering customers free pick-up and delivery. Sudsies also performs clothing restoration, couture clothing care and drapery service. Did we mention Sudsies cleans carpets? It does. And coming soon to participating offices and apartment buildings: Sudsies drop-off boxes, enabling those who have a Sudsies account to drop off their cleaning and laundry. Location: 6792 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-864-3279

Best Transportation on the Beach

Bike

Forget about parking and ride your bike. Or you could double your travel time and triple your budget by taking cabs.

Best Place to Bike

Everywhere

We know that sounds like a pat answer and not one we mean literally, but as traffic congestion increases along with Miami’s population density, it seems like a good idea to consider more often. Think of the time and money we’d save on parking, not to mention gas. Granted, Miami doesn’t have very good urban options for bikers, with scant bike lanes and egocentric drivers making the prospect hazardous, but if everyone hopped on a two-wheeler more often, we might be in better shape, literally and figuratively. For more information on bike commuting in the county, visit www.co.miami-dade.fl.us/transit/ bikes.asp or call the Miami-Dade bicycle/pedestrian coordinator at 305-375-1647.

Best Place to Mountain Bike

Oleta River State Park

The park is known for its off-road bicycling trails geared to everyone from amateur to expert. Oleta River State Park currently has more than 10 miles of challenging, intermediate mountain bike trails. For beginners, there are over four miles of novice trails and three miles of paved trail (shared with inline skaters), according to its Web site. The park even has a bicycle helmet loaner system if you don’t have, or forget to bring, your own. They also host cool-sounding events to attract off-roaders, like the Mystery Mountain Bike Nite Ride and the two-day Oleta River Fat Tire Fest. Location: 3400 NE 163rd St., North Miami. Phone: 305-919-1846

Best Place  o Rollerblade

Rickenbacker Causeway (Miami)

Venetian Causeway (Miami Beach)

Miami may be flat, but that doesn’t mean it’s smooth, not by a long shot. That’s a real sore spot for those of us who have strapped ourselves into a pair of inline skates time and again, only to bust our butts very publicly every few blocks on a gnarly sidewalk or street. Sure, there’s a sweet spot here and there, usually just slick enough to lull us into a false sense of security until the next root or rock rolls underfoot. Although we’ve not tried the Rickenbacker Causeway route out to Crandon Park (what do you think, we’re crazy?), the suggestion comes from the SoBe Rollers, a Miami Beach-based skate group. On their Web site, www.soberollers.com, they describe it as "an 11-mile roundtrip — featuring South Florida’s largest (and only) ‘hill,’ actually a big bridge over the Intracoastal — that skirts the bay and wriggles through some nice semi-tropical forest. You can tack on a Coconut Grove spin at beginning or end; some lovely little streets in there to discover." Of course, for all we know this could be a suicide mission, but then again, so could braving the sidewalk outside your house. Although many tout the skating pleasures of Miami Beach’s mansion-lined, approximately five-mile stretch of North Bay Road, the more adventurous blader might prefer the newly reopened Venetian Causeway. True, you’ll probably have to compete for personal space with joggers, pedestrians, speedy vehicles and even people fishing on the bridge, but you’re less likely to be jarred by the surface under your wheels than by the whipping wind and gorgeous scenery – don’t get too distracted; it’s a doozy of a drop.

Best New Beginning

Sports Club LA

Whether a commitment-phobic single or your first marriage was doomed from the start, you’re going to make sure you’re in shape for the next round. The goal: Look better naked. That’s why Sports Club LA is not only the poshest luxury sports and fitness complex Miami has seen, it also happens to be one of the best places to make a new beginning. This $25 million, 40,000-square-foot facility comes equipped with a yearly price tag: A membership can be yours for $275 down and $105 per month. Location: 1441 Brickell Ave., Miami. Phone: 305-533-1199

Best Outdoor Festivals

Bayfront Park

Smack-dab in the middle of downtown, Bayfront Park is one Miami establishment we all know and love. Perhaps you hold fond memories of hurling in a port-o-potty after one too many funnel cakes, or maybe you lost your favorite tie-dye blanket there after Marley Fest. On a clear night with the stars out and your favorite band rocking out on stage, you will thank us. Location: 301 N. Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Phone: 305-358-1211

Best Way to Feel Like a Celebrity

Blue Star Jets

Try if you must, but we’re pretty sure you won’t find a cooler way to travel. What could be better than setting foot onto your own private jet? With clients like Sammy Sosa and Russell Simmons, Blue Star Jets has become the official flight of the rich and fabulous. Call ahead to reserve your plane and don’t forget the Cristal. Location: 2500 N. Military Trail, Boca Raton. Phone: 1-866-JET-TIME

Best Relaxing Massage

Carol & Kim's Massage

With so many different techniques to choose from, the most stressful thing about this endeavor will be deciding which one to get. These very experienced hands have more than twelve years on the Beach. We like them because they’ll visit you, and quickly. You can specify a male or female therapist, ethical massage only, to leave you feeling totally Zen by the end. Phone: 305-270-0044

Best Way to Flee the Country

Direct Line Travel

As we overdose on net commerce, it’s important to recall the good old days: Remember buying books at the bookstore, doing research at the library, or getting your plane tickets from a travel agent? You’d be surprised at the deals you can find at Direct Line. They specialize in helping you plan your dream vacation. They have lots of packages and plenty of creative ideas for your next getaway. Just think of how refreshing it will be to go in and talk to an actual person for a change. Location: 1307 18th St., Suite 2, Miami Beach. Phone: 1-800-422-2585

Best Reason to Dump Your Boyfriend

Broward Factory Service

The burly men at BFS are here to save the day. This innovative company offers a flat fee for year-round repairs on things like dishwashers and AC units. They’re always on call when something breaks and claim if they can’t fix it, they will replace it. This is the miracle you’ve been waiting for, ladies, so go on and liberate yourselves from that good-for-nothing man. Location: 3500 N. 28th Terrace, Hollywood. Phone: 1-888-BFS-6060

Best Assassins

Bestec  Exterminator

Ever walk into your bathroom in the middle of the night and come face to face with the beast? Those disgusting little buggers that not only co-exist with us but also gross us out? Even the most peace-loving Buddhist will agree, bugs suck. Let the professionals at Bestec take them out. Location: 323 SE First Ave., Hallandale Beach. Phone: 954-458-1104

Best Escape Route

Marquis Jets

Whether you’re a celebrity, an executive or an heir, your favored mode of transportation is bound to be the air. It’s simply the best way to flee the pesky paparazzi. So what’s your escape route? With the Marquis Jet Card®, you access the gold standard in private aviation, NetJets – the largest and most diverse fleet of private aircraft in the world. One simple payment guarantees that for 25 hours at a time you’ll have your jet at your service in North America and Europe. There’s no long-term commitment, no large capital outlay and no hidden costs. You can fly your 25 hours at your leisure, renew or simply walk away when you’re finished; it's that simple. Phone: 866-388-0219

Best Pet Groomers

Grooming Loft

This pet groomer treats all its canine clients like VIPs. Maybe that’s because some of their clients are VIPs: P. Diddy’s Maltese "Sophie" has been known to get pampered at the Loft, as has Paulina Rubio’s Pomeranian "Miranda." In addition to a state-of-the-art grooming salon, The Loft encompasses a stunning boutique. Let these groomers’ expert hands bring out your pooch’s true beauty. Location: 1757 Alton Road, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-531-0155

Best Internet Provider

Wireless Oceans

What’s the fun if you’re not wireless? Not only was Wireless Oceans the first wireless company on the Beach, it’s also the best. They have totally affordable rates and a great team of hardworking people to get you online the wi-fi way. This locally owned and operated company assures you the best coverage and 24/7 support. Location: 407 Lincoln Road, Suite 61, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-674-1220

Best Beauty School

School of Beauty Career and Massage Therapy

If you want to get into the ever-expanding world of cosmetology and massage therapy, the School of Beauty is a good place to start. It provides education and preparation for the real world. This school really cares about its students and provides the best training possible to assure success in this exciting field. Location: 140 JFK Causeway, Suite 100, North Bay Village. Phone: 305-866-5221

Best Place To Pretend You’re Rocky

South Florida Boxing

The folks at South Florida Boxing say, "You don’t have to be a boxer to train like one." With boxing’s box-office success in recent years, we predict this sport will grow even more popular. When you walk into this place you’ll see why. These guys are serious about their sport. Here you can learn to box while losing weight, gaining strength and having fun. Location: 715 Washington Ave., 2nd Floor, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-672-8262

Best Hassle-Free Auto Tag Agency

Beach Auto Tag & Insurance

Getting your car insured or renewing your registration can be a hassle, but at Beach Auto Tag & Insurance the process is not too painful at all. On a recent visit, a SunPost reporter was able to get a copy of his car registration in just five minutes. Duplicate titles as well as title transfers for Florida cars, motorcycles and boats are services offered by the company. Beach Auto Tag & Insurance also provides notary services, handicap parking permits and home insurance. Location: 800 71st St., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-868-3277

Best Event Planner

Imagine Weddings & Events International

If you can imagine it, they will make it come true! Imagine Weddings and Events International specializes in planning and designing personalized, distinctive weddings, commitment ceremonies, civil unions, vow renewals, honeymoons and all of life’s special occasions, including family reunions, baby showers, anniversaries, Christenings, bris/baby namings, bar/bat mitzvahs and more. With more than 200 locations worldwide, Imagine offers the option of a fully customized South Florida affair or a destination package from around the world. Events can be arranged to fit all budgets. At Imagine, designers lavish individual attention on every detail and last-minute personal touch. Location: 2600 SW Third Ave. (Coral Way), Miami; www.imaginevip.com. Phone: 305-421-0000

Best Gym

Olympia Fitness Center

Open for more than 20 years, Olympia Fitness Center stands firm in the belief, "If people around you are training hard, then you’ll be motivated to train hard." The full-service gym offers over 50 weekly exercise and cardio classes, everything from yoga and Pilates to kickboxing and zumba. Not only do you learn how to take care of yourself physically, but also mentally. Olympia has 20 personal trainers with over 18 years’ experience. The facility itself spans more than 20,000 square feet and features six different training rooms, a Jacuzzi, juice bar and steam room/sauna. Early riser or night owl, Olympia can fit your schedule. It’s open Monday to Friday 5 a.m. to 10 p.m., Saturday 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. and Sunday 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Location: 20335 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura. Phone: 305-932-3500

Best Kids Learn-to-Swim Program

Aqua Child

The goal is to make children safer in and around water. Aqua Child offers a swim program that teaches children as young as 10 months to swim head down with their eyes open, rotate on their backs, float and rest, and then rotate back, to swim to safety. All lessons are custom designed according to each child's physical and emotional needs. Lessons are approximately 10 minutes a day, Monday through Friday, and typically last for four to six weeks depending on the child's abilities. Instruction is one on one, except on Fridays, when parents are encouraged to get in the water with their kids. Lessons are held at Mermaids Dive Center. Location: 16604 NE Second Ave., North Miami Beach; www.aquachild.com. Phone: 786-553-4027

Best Range of Watersports

Boucher Brothers

With concession stands serving the guests of most major beachfront hotels, the Boucher Brothers have developed an empire built on sand. Corporate events, wave runners, beach umbrellas and chaise lounges are just another day at the beach. From children’s activities to handicapped access, this company’s "can do" attitude helps make Miami Beach the sun and fun capital of the world. Main Location: 425 Lincoln Road, #265, Miami Beach; www.boucherbrothers.com. Phone: 305-535-8177

Best Rowing Club

Ronald W. Shane Watersports Center

The Ronald W. Shane Watersports Center is dedicated to the promotion and development of amateur watersports competition for adults, youth, students and underprivileged individuals in South Florida. The Center has evolved into one of the finest training facilities in the country for college rowing teams. Beginning rowing classes are scheduled on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Have fun, get a workout, make new friends and pick up rowing skills from highly qualified coaches. The water center is also home to the Miami Beach Rowing Club, whose members are frequently seen rowing on the Intracoastal. One of the club’s most popular competitions is the annual regatta on Indian Creek. It challenges competitors from amateur to master’s levels in everything from singles to "championship eights." All are welcome to watch. Location: 6500 Indian Creek Drive, Miami Beach; www.rowmiamibeach.com. Phone: 305-861-8876

Best Miami Beach Parking Service

Standard Parking

For the finest quality in parking management services, look no further. Standard Parking is one of the area’s premier parking services companies. Claiming "unmatchable facility performance," it serves airports, hospitals, retail and mixed-use buildings, to name a few. Programs like musical-themed floors, featuring a specific song and graphic, assist patrons in remembering where their automobiles have been parked. Standard also offers automated vehicle identification systems to ensure customer safety in the buildings and parking lots where it operates. Location: 1674 Meridian Ave., Miami Beach; www.standardparking.com. Phone: 305-864-5559

Best Miami Parking Service

PK-1 Parking

PK-1 Parking specializes in high-end luxury parking. With its more than 65 years’ experience, your car won’t get scratched here. PK-1 manages various mixed-use and parking garages. It’s best known for the design of South Beach’s Pelican Garage. Laser bar codes, decal identification and monthly hangtag systems are only a few of the security systems PK-1 provides to safeguard your wheels. PK-1 also supplies buses, vans, shuttles and limos for special events. Location: 12000 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami. Phone: 305-891-0060

Best Swimming Pool

Venetian Pool

In the past, the SunPost has given props to infinity pools behind hotels and just-renovated pools of city parks. We would have also liked to give an award to the Normandy Park Pool for its renovation, long anticipated by North Beachers, but it doesn’t look like that puppy will be completed anytime soon. So this year we decided to look outside our traditional coverage area and recognize the best reason to visit Coral Gables other than its fancy restaurants, microbreweries, giant shopping center, haunted hotel and confusing streets named after long-dead Spanish explorers.

We’re talking about the Venetian Pool. Created in 1923 by Phineas Paist and Gables founder George Merrick, the Venetian Pool is 820,000 gallons of fresh spring water surrounding coral rock formations that swimmers can explore. On the main deck there’s also a restaurant and snack bars, though it might not be advisable to swim soon after eating, especially if you want to maneuver around the underwater caves. Location: 2701 DeSoto Blvd., Coral Gables. Phone: 305-460-5356

Best Reason to Turn Off Your TV

Miami-Dade County Park and Recreation Department

Want to have a close encounter of the dead kind? Check out the weekly Arch Creek Ghost Tours. Have the urge to water recreate? There are kayak and snorkel "excursions" at Crandon Park in Key Biscayne, and water bicycles and kayak rentals at Amelia Earhart Park in Hialeah and Greynolds Park in North Miami Beach. Have the urge to shoot something, but in a safe way? Get to know firearm safety and try out the range at the Trail Glades Range at 17601 SW Eighth St. in Miami. Want to get to know nature? Take a walk on the wild side in one of the largest natural parks, Greynolds Park. Just want to fly a kite? Head over to Haulover and check them out in shapes ranging from the traditional diamond to Skyward Kites trailer. Want to learn how to stab someone with a sharp, metal wire instrument? There are fencing lessons at Highland Oaks Parks. Long story, short: Miami-Dade County Park and Recreation has something for everyone, including summer camps for the kiddies and special senior activities for grandfolks. Location: Parks and facilities all over Miami-Dade County. Log on to www.miamidade.gov/parks/ for more information. Phone: 305-755-7800

Best Way to Get Over It

Creative Life Management

Stressed? Stuck? Need direction? Michelle Goldstein, owner of Creative Life Management, thinks she has a solution: hypnosis. Through hypnosis, Goldstein seeks to help her patients explore repressed memories, reinforce positive attitudes and, whenever you hear the word "snow blower," make you cluck like a chicken. (Just kidding about the clucking part.) Seriously, hypnosis doesn’t work that way. "Honestly, a person is always in control under hypnosis," Goldstein explains on her Web page, www.creativelifemanagement.net. "You have the power to open your eyes at any time, to wake if you are not experiencing what makes you comfortable. Hypnosis is a way to allow ourselves to relax, to let go and to be in the moment of calmness, giving ourselves a chance to de-stress." So consider the Goldstein solution. What’s the worst that can happen? After all, there are no snow blowers in Florida. (But there are leaf-blowers ...) Location: 3050 Biscayne Blvd., Suite 908, Miami. Phone: 305-571-9996

Best Beach Animal Clinic

Pet House

Open more than three years, Pet House is the ideal animal clinic to ensure your pet receives nothing less than the best care. Besides regular checkups, the full-service clinic offers vaccinations, surgery, pet prescriptions and will even give your dog or cat a bath. Pet House staff believes what sets them apart from other animal clinics is their commitment to quality care. They pay special attention to developing a healthy and a long-lasting relationship with each pet and owner. Open Monday to Saturday 8 a.m. to 7 p.m., Sundays for emergencies only. Location: 6800 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-868-1718

Best Sitters for Your Furry Kids

Running Rascals Pet Service

We all have busy lives and can’t always give our little loved ones our full attention; luckily Running Rascals can. They will visit your pet, walk him, feed him, and lavish him with love and attention, all for a very reasonable rate. They’ll even water your plants and bring in your mail for a little extra. It’s the next best thing to being there yourself. Next time you go out of town, don’t even think about a kennel; leave your pet in his own comfortable, familiar surroundings and let Running Rascals do the work. Sitters are trained and certified in pet first aid. Visit www.runningrascals.com. Phone: 305-342-3854

Best Valet

AAA Parking

When planning an event, never underestimate a crucial factor: parking. As the beaches fill up it gets increasingly harder to find a safe place to stash your wheels. The friendly folks at AAA will take care of all your parking needs. Whether you’re planning a big to-do or just want that extra touch of class at your business, condo or hotel, AAA has the solution. This full-valet service has quite a few happy clients on the beach and would love to add you to its regulars. Location: 15400 SW 35th Terrace, Miami. Phone: 305-868-4282

Best Internet Cable Service

Atlantic Broadband

Newcomers to South Florida know what a hassle it can be to get settled into a new place. Atlantic Broadband makes it easier: A plethora of services from high-speed Internet to digital cable will have you back online in no time. With all the time you save you can turn to more important things, i.e. downloading naughty pictures of Paris Hilton. Location: 1681 79th St. Causeway, North Bay Village. Phone: 305-861-8069

Best City for Developers

Miami

Real estate bubble? There is no stinkin’ real estate bubble if the political leadership of Miami has anything to do with it. Nothing takes higher priority for these folks than making sure Miami becomes Manhattan South come hell or high water. Project ain’t concurrent? Dude, the Miami guys will find a way to make it concurrent. Want to build something called a mega-yacht marina? They’ll dredge up Biscayne Bay faster than you can say "A-hoy there, matie." Got a nifty idea to build a mini-city in the middle of a rail yard but you want your property taxes only to go to paying for the building of infrastructure? Give Manny Diaz a call. He can make it happen.

Best Cell Phone Hookup

Express Hub T-Mobile

Have you got the hookup? Express Hub T-Mobile has more than eight locations serving Miami-Dade & Broward counties. If you want the latest phone with the best service and technology, this is the place to get it. The perk: They offer weekly classes for PDA’s and Sidekick users. Location: 1504 Alton Road, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-672-8886

Best Auto Source

79th Street Auto Center

Your best source for car sales and rentals, 79th Street Auto offers a really cool collection of rentals. Ever picture yourself behind the wheel of a convertible Mini Cooper or a Beetle? Maybe a Jaguar XK8 is more your style? They also sell cars, with special and in-house financing available. Whatever your needs, 79th Street Auto can deliver. Location: 830 NE 79th St., Miami. Phone: 305-754-1846

Best Neighborhood Auto Repair Shop

Plaza Tire & Auto Center

Personalized attention together with expert know-how makes Plaza Tire & Auto Center a definite best. Whenever you take your car in for some TLC, it’s important to trust the people you’re dealing with. This family-owned establishment has aligned with NAPA auto care and now offers a 12,000-mile “peace of mind” warranty so you’re assured top-quality auto care. Location: 3500 NE Second Ave., Miami. Phone: 305-573-3878

Best Electronics

Surfside Technologies

Home renovation has never been so easy and enjoyable. Surfside Technologies specializes in everything from climate-control systems to lighting and wireless environments. Tired of the same old junk TV? Surfside Technologies offers the latest in flat-screen and plasma televisions. What sets it apart from other electronic and home- technology stores is that the customer comes first. They believe in developing a personal relationship with each customer. With every sale comes a warranty that if your product breaks down, they’ll come to your house and repair it. Open Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Saturday and Sunday by appointment only. Location: 9454 Harding Ave., Bal Harbour. Phone: 305-864-5559

Best Florist

White Tulip

This quaint Alton Road flower shop specializes in artistic arrangements, unique floral designs and upscale gifts. It’s the exclusive designer for Shaquille O’Neal, P. Diddy, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Heat. Location: 1673 Alton Road, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-672-9444.

Best Place to Get Out of a Jam

York Lock & Key

There is nothing quite so annoying as locking your keys inside your car … except maybe having to change your home door locks so your ex can no longer get in. In either circumstance, it’s good to know the people at York have got your back. They have everything and anything you could want or imagine when it comes to locks, safes or keys. Keep their number handy for the next time you find yourself in a jam. Location: 1554 Alton Road, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-672-5622

Best Hardware Store

Central Ace Hardware

When thing go wrong and break, this is the ultimate Miami Beach location for tools, plumbing supplies, paints, electronic paraphernalia, etc. They also have school supplies, garden and lawn equipment, vacuums. Frankly, they’ve got it all within their 10,000-square-foot store. Location: 545 41st St., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-531-0836

Best Cuban Paraphernalia

Little Havana To Go

The perfect gift for an FIU grad? A Cubanita hat from Little Havana To Go. Actually you can probably get all your Christmas shopping done at this store: Abuelita would love the official Cuban coat of arms bag, Tio Domingo might enjoy the jumbo dominoes set and your Cousin Joey can proudly wear his "Made in America (With Cuban Parts)" T-shirt. Yes, now even Little Havana has its official brand and souvenir store: Welcome to America, people. Location: 1442 SW Eighth St., Miami. Phone: 305- 857-9720

Best Place for an Epiphany

Miami Beach Community Church

Come on in, everybody’s invited to this party. Are you down with J.C.? This Miami Beach church envisions a world inclusive of all, where Catholics and Protestants can assemble to pray together and play together in the United Church of Christ. This has to be the hippest (and oldest) church on the Beach; they’ve even cut an album called Heirlooms with a collection of choir songs and soloists from morning services. Don’t forget to catch God, now playing at Miami Beach Community Church. Location: 1620 Drexel Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-538-4511

Best Youth Recruitment Campaign

NAACP, Miami-Dade Branch

Hard to believe but the NAACP needs members—as in young members. For whatever reason, teenagers and young adults have to be reminded of the NAACP’s mission: to eliminate racism in all forms in America. Last time we checked, racism still exists. Thus, there is still a need for the NAACP. Both the Miami-Dade and Broward chapters have sought to convey this through television and radio commercial advertisements, youth councils and seminars. But the Miami-Dade chapter has found reaching out to churches and forming coalitions with other groups is a nifty way to get new members. Last year 500 new—and young—members were recruited this way. "In order to attract those young people, those of us who have been here for a long time have a responsibility to move over and allow them to rebuild and reshape the organization to a 21st century NAACP," Shirley Johnson, the NAACP’s first vice president, recently told the Miami Herald.

And so the recruitment drive continues as Miami’s chapter seeks to show the next generation they need the NAACP – and it needs them. Branch meetings are held at 7:30 p.m. the third Monday of each month. Location: Joseph Caleb Center, 5400 NW 22nd Ave., Miami. Phone: 305-685-8694

Best Local Haitian Advocacy Group

Fanm Ayisyen Nan Miyami Inc.

(Haitian Women of Miami)

Founded in 1991, Fanm Ayisyen Nan Miyami (FANM) is a nonprofit organization that provides immigration advocacy and social services primarily to Haitian residents of Miami-Dade County. Its stated mission: "to empower Haitian women and their families socially, politically and economically and aid in their adjustment to South Florida and the United States." The group offers classes in Kreyol, legal clinics, parenting instruction and more. It is headed by Marleine Bastien, a licensed social worker known throughout the county and the country for her work in this field. This year Essence Magazine named her "one of the 35 most remarkable women in the world." Location: 7900 NE Second Ave., Seventh Floor, Miami; www.fanm.org. Phone: 305-756-8050

Best Green Space

Miami Beach Botanical Garden

Miami Beach used to be a sleepy town. Not so anymore. Buildings, cars, people and their pets are practically everywhere you turn. Need some intense foliage therapy and serenity to keep your sanity? The 4.5-acre Miami Beach Botanical Garden offers free admission Tuesday to Sunday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and a free guided tour daily from 11 a.m. to noon. It’s a great place to meditate on the lush tropical plants, palms and flowering trees, orchids and bromeliads, not to mention Florida native plants, a Japanese Garden, butterfly garden, herb garden and rose fountain courtyard. Environmental education is also part of the mission, and if you’re lucky you might stop in during one of their regular "Arts in the Garden" performances (though you won’t be alone). Location: 2000 Convention Center Drive, Miami Beach. Phone: 305-673-7256

Best Public Project

The Beachwalk, 14th Street and Lummus Park to 21st Street, Miami Beach

Technically it’s not quite done yet, but Miami Beach’s $3.8 million Beachwalk project takes up where the city’s wooden boardwalk, from 21st and 48th streets, leaves off. Initially slated for completion in 2002, the Beachwalk has hit a few roadblocks along the way, including resistance from some hotel owners who wanted to keep their little slice of heaven exclusively for paying guests. Portions of the walk still missing pavers include the area in back of the Richmond Hotel at 1757 Collins Ave., and at the ends of 18th and 20th streets. But the recreational trail has prevailed in affording public access to, um, the public, even in South Beach’s poshest parts. Winding along the western edge of the sand dune, from the southern end of the existing boardwalk at 21st Street south to the northern end of Lummus Park at 14th Street, the brick-paved pathway features lighting, low coral- rock accent walls and mosaic paver stone plazas at the public beach accesses and street-ends, allowing alternative transportation routes for pedestrians, bicycles, those in wheelchairs (in compliance with the Americans With Disabilities Act) and even emergency vehicles. The path is expected to prevent erosion by keeping people off the sand dunes. It also acts as something of a storm buffer. The nighttime lighting is environmentally sensitive to the nesting habits of turtles, and native plantings and coconut palms for shade encourage the return of native wildlife to an area better known these days for its wild nightlife. The Environmental Resources Management Division of the Public Works Department, which is managing the project, estimates completion in about three months. Phone: 305-673-7080

Best Last Hope for Chronic Procrastinators

Liberty Tax Services

Rarely do we associate filing taxes with pleasant thoughts … unless it’s receiving a tax refund. Regardless, we still have to comply with Uncle Sam. Liberty Tax Services, one of the fastest-growing tax service companies in the United States, helps you do just that. If you’re baffled by schedules and credits and deductions, Liberty also teaches a free tax course every September. Open year-round, this company offers services including refund anticipation loans, electronic filing, small business tax returns and applications for a taxpayer I.D. (for those ineligible for a Social Security card). Location: 1238 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Phone: 305-672-6773

(c) 2004 Miami Sunpost