Catering Meltdown
Nine Days, 40 Expected Guests and One Major Problem

They billed themselves as South Florida’s ultimate barbecue catering company. Things were coming together.

By Mark Goldberg

It was my wife Arlene’s big birthday recently. All you need to know about her age is that it ends in a zero. I wanted to do something special for the celebration. Since there is nothing Arlene loves more than family, I decided to bring everyone together.

But one daughter lives in Jacksonville, another lives in Los Angeles and our son lives in Scarsdale, N.Y. We have grandchildren on two different coasts that have rarely seen each other. And while Arlene’s parents live barely 90 minutes away in Lake Worth, it’s difficult for them to take the car ride down.

With everybody’s help, we did it. Cousins, nieces and nephews, aunts, parents, children and grandchildren, granddogs, sisters, in-laws, outlaws and a handful of friends threw out their pencils and took their red pens in hand to circle a special date on their calendars. Forty people, two Australian Shepherds and one duck-trolling retriever were about to descend on our home.

Now, what does a dining critic serve such a diverse crowd? Everyone but the grandkids know I dine on foie gras, truffles, sweetbreads, fine wine and delicate pastries. Even if that is just one night a week. On a lark, I called the fine people at Joy Wallace Catering. There are none better, and I knew they had appreciated the positive truths I wrote about them a few months back. But the big truth is that I work for the SunPost and the Joy Wallace estimate of $200 per person meant that I could invite three other people if I didn’t eat.

Instead I went online, I scoured the Yellow Pages and I discovered that there are dozens of catering companies that are listed just by nondescriptive names. The Internet afforded me more information, separating the high-style wedding caterers from the party people. Still, I needed a plan. I had to understand who was coming. And I had to understand it from Arlene’s point of view. This was to be a party for family, for the grandkids. It was going to be a Saturday afternoon gathering in the house and out on the back lawn. What could be more perfect than a barbecue!

Remember my 40-person guest list? Well, Shorty’s Bar-B-Q and several others won’t talk to you unless you have 50 people or more. I can understand that for larger restaurants and catering companies it’s not profitable to send people out to man a grill.

A Yellow Pages ad caught my eye. Smoke & Spice Real Kickin’ Barbecue. They billed themselves as South Florida’s ultimate barbecue catering company. Things were coming together. I called owner Mark Rogers, told him the date of the party, how many people I was hosting and he faxed me a price list describing everything from ribs to chicken to “fixin’s.” I reviewed everything with my sister-in-law, the ultimate party planner, and she gave the idea a big thumbs up. I called Rogers back, confirmed the date, got a final price from him and asked him to come to my home a week before the party so he could see where best to set up.

I expected Rogers on Monday morning at 10. His wife, Ingrid, called an hour earlier to inform me that he wasn’t coming. He had a closing on their house that day and couldn’t make it. OK. I asked if he could come out the next day. That’s when she matter-of-factly announced that they would not be doing my December 10 party. They were going away for the weekend. After all, I hadn’t signed a contract.

Of course not. Her husband was supposed to come to my house that morning, contract in hand, for signatures and a check. He was literally coming to see where to set up. She had mentioned the date herself, so that wasn’t a surprise. But she wanted to go away for the weekend. She bottom-lined our final phone conversation with the fact that the next time I did business with them, I should talk to her and not her husband.

This was on December 1. I had nine days to find a replacement, at a time of the year when caterers are their busiest. I spent the rest of the day Web surfing and Yellow Paging, wondering what I was going to tell my 40 guests and Arlene as we all piled into our cars and wagon-trained to the corner Wendy’s.

At the end of the day, I chanced across Your Complete Picnic Caterers (yourcompletepicniccatering.com) on the Internet. I was worn out and about to give up. But, suddenly, there was hope. I spoke with owner Emmett Liggins who explained the half-dozen barbecue packages they offered. We decided that chicken, hot dogs and hamburgers would be easier for the kids than chicken and ribs, and it included baked beans, corn on the cob, fruit salad, macaroni salad, cole slaw, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles, and soda, ice tea and lemonade. It even included plates, plastic ware, full size napkins, cups and Emmett himself manning the grill. All I had to bring were the guests. Not only was I covered for food, but Your Complete Picnic Caterers also could provide rides, attractions and entertainers. I reserved a caricaturist. I had learned my lesson earlier that day and ended up speaking with Emmett’s wife, Clarissa, who was helpful and friendly.

Party day, Emmett arrived and quietly set up his covered table, started his grill and went to work. Everyone commented on the incredible barbecued chicken. The three-bean baked beans were out of this world, seasoned with brown sugar and maple. The hot dogs were, of course, kosher. The caricaturist arrived early and was kind enough to draw a little extra hair on my head. The weatherman dismissed any rain from the sky and five hours later, Emmett Liggins cleaned up his area, then packed up all the leftovers and brought them into the house for us. We had some of that great chicken again the next night.

You can reach Your Complete Picnic Caterers at 754-246-4873. But call Clarissa on her private line at 754-422-5111.

And Happy Birthday, Arlene. I love you.