Football Season Fumble

Although Wahlberg’s performance is fine, it’s obvious that the movie is going for a Rudy-like feel, but falls terribly short (pun intended).

Greg Kinnear’s Coach Vermeil impersonation. Photo courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.

By Dan Hudak

For all you helmet heads who can’t wait for football season, Invincible is just the ticket to satiate your pigskin palate until the real kickoff a few weeks from now. For everyone else, it’s another tired and predictable sports movie to yawn through.

The true story is based on the career of Vincent Papale, who played for the Philadelphia Eagles in the mid-1970s. The lone thing that makes this different from the usual sports movie is that it’s not about a dream come true: Although he’s a lifelong Eagles fan, there’s no indication in the movie that Papale actually wanted to play pro football.

And so when Coach Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear) holds open tryouts in the summer of 1976, Papale (Mark Wahlberg), who only played two years of high school football, goes with great goading from his friends and little hope of actually making the team. But it’s not like he has anything better to do: His wife has just left him and he’s unemployed thanks to the despair of the Philadelphia economy.

It’s at this point that you can break out your laundry list of sports movie clichés and start marking them off one by one. Inexperienced underdog in over his head with bigger, stronger athletes — check. Scenes of training camp brutality and the veterans’ immediate dislike of him — absolutely. A naysayer among the hero’s friends and loved ones — of course. Troubled relationship with a parental figure mended — Dad always did love him. Token love interest — you betcha, in the form of his future wife, Janet (Elizabeth Banks). Failure and a long struggle for success capped by triumph? Brad Gann’s script wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s even an attempt at the same type of uplifting music that these movies always feature, but Mark Isham’s score is barely noticeable.

The problem isn’t the use of formulaic devices, but the fact that they’re used in such a boring and conventional way — the movie could have been much better if director Ericson Core had a fresh perspective for the story. The lone saving grace is that the action is easy to follow, which is a step up from the headache-inducing chaos of Any Given Sunday and other football movies.

As the final credits roll we see game footage of the real Papale, and it’s striking how his tall and lanky frame is so different from Wahlberg’s short and compact build. Although Wahlberg’s performance is fine, it’s obvious that the movie is going for a Rudy-like feel, but falls terribly short (pun intended). Whereas Rudy had heart, earnestness and tradition on its side, Invincible has heart, skepticism and fans who throw snowballs at Santa (true story: In December 1968, Eagles fans were so disheartened by the team’s poor season that they chucked snowballs at Santa Claus during halftime in a game against the Minnesota Vikings).

Does Invincible have a nice, inspirational story? Yes, which is why even the two very predictable goose-bump-inducing moments will score with football fans. Too bad there’s nothing for anyone else to watch.

Comments? E-mail dhudak22@yahoo.com.

Invincible **

Directed by Ericson Core. Written by Brad Gann. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Greg Kinnear, Elizabeth Banks, Kevin Conway. Rated PG.

Also opening in Miami-Dade County this Friday: Beerfest, How to Eat Fried Worms, Idlewild, The Illusionist.

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Film Capsules

By Dan Hudak

The Illusionist **1/2

(Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti, Jessica Biel) Renowned illusionist Eisenheim (Norton) falls for his forbidden childhood sweetheart (Biel) and must evade the pesky Chief Inspector Uhl (Giamatti) in early 20th century Vienna. Have no illusions: The story is predictable, and the talented cast registers mediocre performances at best. Still, there is something intrinsically appealing about it, and the magic is fun to watch. Rated PG-13.

 

Only Human ***1/2

(Guillermo Toledo, Marián Aguilera, María Botto) Disaster strikes when a nice Jewish girl (Aguilera) brings her Palestinian fiancé (Toledo) home to her wacky family in Madrid. This is a delightful little comedy that transcends subtitles and is hilarious from start to finish. See it if you’re in the mood for a great laugh. Rated R.

Little Miss Sunshine ****

(Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Alan Arkin) The dysfunctional Hoover family takes a 700-mile road trip and nearly kills one another (literally and figuratively) along the way. This is one of the smartest, most brutally honest and side-splittingly funny movies in a long, long time, and will undoubtedly appear on many critics’ Top Ten list at the end of the year (it’ll certainly be on mine). Rated R.

World Trade Center ***1/2

(Nicolas Cage, Michael Peña, Maria Bello) The heartrending story of the last two Port Authority Police Officers (Cage and Pena) rescued from the rubble of the World Trade Center Towers on 9/11 comes to life vividly in Oliver Stone’s passionate, moving film. This is a story of great endurance and love overcoming death, and Stone directs with a simple, tactful approach that shows nothing but respect for its subject matter. Rated PG-13.

Barnyard ***

(Voices of Kevin James, Sam Elliott, Andie MacDowell) After his father dies, a young and immature cow named Otis (James) must defend his fellow animals against the evil coyotes that lurk outside the farm’s fences. It may not be as funny as this summer’s Over the Hedge, and yes we’re all getting sick of computer-generated animals, but the movie’s choice selection of pop tunes and its warmth make it fun for kids of all ages. Rated PG.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby ***

(Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Gary Cole) Hotshot NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby (Ferrell) sees his career fall apart when he can’t beat a French Formula One driver named Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen). This is Ferrell’s funniest since Old School and will soon become a comedy classic. Rated PG-13.

The Descent ***

(Shauna Macdonald, Alex Reid, Molly Kayll) Six thrill-seeking female friends become trapped in a cave in the Appalachian Mountains, and then must fight for their survival against the predators that lurk beneath. As well-made as the movie is, it’s also so intense that by the end you’ll want them to get out not for their own sakes, but for yours. Still, those who liked Open Water (2003) and aren’t claustrophobic will enjoy this gothic horror tale. Rated R.

Miami Vice ***1/2

(Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Gong Li) As undercover Miami detectives Crockett (Farrell) and Tubbs (Foxx) infiltrate a South American drug ring. Crockett begins an affair with the drug lord’s girlfriend, Isabella (Li). Writer/director Michael Mann has stripped the city of its glossy, neon-colored sheen and delivered an intense, gloomy character drama that’s a substantial improvement from the ’80s television show. Rated R.

Scoop **

(Scarlett Johansson, Hugh Jackman, Woody Allen) An ambitious college reporter (Johansson) in London gets a once-in-a-lifetime scoop that the wealthy Lord Peter Lyman (Jackman) is the city’s “Tarot Card Killer,” who’s the “biggest story to hit London since Jack the Ripper,” deceased journalist Joe Strombel (Ian McShane) says. Aged magician Sid Waterman (Allen) helps her investigate. If Allen would have had the courtesy to not write his neurotic self into the script, this could’ve been an intriguing mystery. But sadly he does, and undermines the tension by constantly cracking jokes. Rated PG-13.

Clerks II ***

(Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes) The beloved deadbeats (O’Halloran and Anderson) from the 1994 low-budget hit Clerks are back, this time working in a fast-food restaurant called “Mooby’s” and with a newfound fascination for interspecies sex. Writer/director Kevin Smith didn’t have to bring his original foul-mouthed screw-ups back to the big screen, but fans of the original and newcomers will be glad he did, because this is a very funny movie. Rated R.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend **

(Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, Anna Faris) After Matt (Wilson) dumps his girlfriend Jenny (Uma Thurman) because she’s too needy and overbearing, she makes his life absolutely miserable. The trouble is that she’s also a superhero named G-Girl, and never hesitates to use her superpowers against Matt. This is a nice twist on the idea of a superhero’s personal life, but it’s undone by the fact that they don’t become “exes” until an hour into the movie and the laughs just never seem natural. Rated PG-13.

Lady in the Water **

(Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright) After a lonely superintendent named Cleveland Heep (Giamatti) discovers a mysterious woman (Howard) in the pool area of his apartment complex, he soon learns she’s from another world and is in great danger of not returning alive. The film labors through its first half with very little of interest happening, but then comes alive with an upbeat musical score and genuine intrigue. Rated PG-13.

Monster House ***

(Voices of Steve Buscemi, Jon Heder, Kevin James) Best friends DJ and Chowder discover that their crazy neighbor’s house is actually a living, mean-spirited monster. It may sound scary, but this animated comedy is quite fun and creative, although it’s too intense for the wee little kids. Rated PG.

You, Me and Dupree *1/2

(Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, Matt Dillon) After losing his apartment, lifelong do-nothing Dupree (Wilson) moves in with his best friend Carl (Dillon) and his wife, Molly (Hudson). This is a boring, by-the-books comedy that doesn’t have one original creative thought and is rarely funny. Rated PG-13.

A Scanner Darkly **

(Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Robert Downey Jr.) Set seven years in the future, an undercover cop (Reeves) loses control of his drug addiction and can no longer tell what’s real and what isn’t. Interestingly, the film was shot and edited in live action by writer/director Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused), and then animated in an effort to provide a truly hyper-surreal experience. While the animation trick may work, the rest of the story never quite comes together. Based on the Philip K. Dick novel. Rated R.

Evaluation Chart
****	A genuine must-see
***	Entertaining
**	Mediocre, but not worthless
*	A wretched waste of time