Learning From Barkley
Miami’s Remaining District 2 Candidates Really Gotta Learn How to Chill

This is Barkley’s point — people are stupid. People will buy into the hype, even when they should know better.

By Rebecca Wakefield

Charles Barkley is a smart man. The former basketball star, allegedly considering a run for governor of Alabama in four years, was doing some sports show not long ago and the subject of politics came up. It’s an amazing thing, Barkley said, that people will spend enormous energy trying to collect $20 million in campaign funds to win a job that pays only five or six figures. “I’d just take the $20 million,” he said (as I recall, anyway; I didn’t take notes).

In the case of a smaller seat, say, city of Miami commissioner, we’re talking maybe 80 or 90 grand by the time all the perks are added into the salary. I’ve been watching the race, now a runoff on Nov. 21, between District 2 candidates Linda Haskins and Marc Sarnoff with amazement.

You would think Marc had torn the heads off all Linda’s Barbie dolls and peed in her cocktail. You’d think Linda had stolen Marc’s best friend and fed his dog to an alligator. Not only that, the level of personal vitriol injected into this race is accompanied by grand pronouncements that the fate of the free world rests on one of these two little heads. Last I checked, it takes three votes to make a decision on that commission.

This is Barkley’s point — people are stupid. People will buy into the hype, even when they should know better. “I’m not voting for either one of those m-f-ers,” one of my more cynical and profane friends told me recently. “I’m gonna write in my own name.”

Truth be told, I’m kind of sick of the both of them too. I listened to the Jim DeFede Show on WINZ-940 Wednesday and it inspired me to change my column. Haskins and Sarnoff, who were the morning’s guests, just picked at each other nonstop. “When Marc talks to Republicans, he sounds like a Republican,” Haskins complained. “When he talks to Democrats, he talks like the Democrats.”

DeFede asked for a specific example. Haskins pointed to a SunPost article, in which she said Sarnoff supported a condo project next to Mercy Hospital, and the developer’s settlement payoff of community groups. She said he later claimed not to favor either the project or payoffs.

“It’s a tragedy, Jim,” Sarnoff responded, in denying both claims. “It’s a tragedy that Linda continues to deceive the people of Miami.”

Haskins complained about Sarnoff using e-mails and blogs to malign her. “I even got a call from Rebecca Wakefield, saying she’s never seen anything like it,” she said. (Note to Linda: Snaky columnists are not necessarily the best source.)

The topic then turned to whether or not Home Depot lobbyist Seth Gordon (right), “The Gordfather” as one blogger described him, was raising money for Haskins. DeFede mentioned an e-mail Sarnoff had circulated from Gordon, inviting potential contributors to Perricone’s for a fundraiser that included all the city commissioners, the mayor, former U.S. Rep. Carrie Meek and former county Commissioner Barbara Carey-Shuler.

“It was not sponsored by Seth Gordon,” Haskins said, rhetorically pushing the Horned One away from her with a sharp stick.

“Are you saying this is a forged e-mail?” DeFede asked.

“Seth Gordon was not a sponsor of that,” she repeated. “I don’t control Seth Gordon.”

“Seth Gordon is a part of Linda Haskins’ campaign,” Sarnoff heckled.

Poor Seth Gordon. Yes, he is a man with enthusiasm for hire, and perhaps a little too pasty and shifty-eyed to be trusted. Sometimes the people who hire him to shill for their projects are bad people with bad projects. But the people who think he runs things are giving him more credit than he’s due, which he takes right to the bank. So I asked him later, what’s it like being the devil incarnate in certain zip codes?

“I’m humbled by the honor,” Gordon quipped. “It’s a challenge sometimes. It’s a hard role to live up to, but if you invest it with a certain amount of humility, it works out OK.”

Then it was Sarnoff’s turn to get the lash, for his association with lobbyist Steve Marin. He said he talked to him and got some free advice about absentee ballots, but Marin doesn’t work for him.

The sparring went on like this for a while. “It’s, it’s not pretty,” DeFede remarked, having had to deaden the mikes of both candidates at one point.

“Linda, you’re a desperate woman and a deceiver,” Sarnoff said in a parting shot.

Haskins’ response, something about Sarnoff supposedly not having a permit for his law office, trailed off into the canned music that finally overwhelmed them both.

Out in the real world, there are all sorts of allegations about wackiness with absentee ballots, signs taken down, etc.… It never ends. Well, it will on Tuesday.

Probably Haskins will win this race. She’s raised a dump-truck load of campaign cash, mostly in large denominations from the same people who have contributed to Manny Diaz’s campaigns (and some to Michelle Spence-Jones, Joe Sanchez and Angel Gonzalez). She looks like a nice lady, is smart and makes sense while she’s talking — as long as she doesn’t go on too long.

I tend to side with the little guys, and Sarnoff’s long record as an activist appeals to me. I’m a little disturbed by some of his tactics, but it’s understandable to feel that you have to use every weapon when you’re going up against a juggernaut. Because Sarnoff is not running against Haskins. He’s running against Manny Diaz.

Diaz, love him or hate him, seriously needs a challenge. It’s always dangerous, no matter who is in control, for one person to so thoroughly dictate the course of something as complex as a city on the verge of big changes. Challenge makes even a good vision better. I’m not convinced Linda Haskins is built for that role at this point.

Comments? E-mail wakefield@miamisunpost.com.

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