BASEL TOV!*

Paris gave Stavros a three-song lapdance ($75 at Gold Rush for those wondering) to make up for the fight they had minutes earlier.

Kanye gets a lift.

By Jon Warech

While I’m all for art (especially the really expensive stuff that looks like it was made by a 4-year-old), I’m way more into the parties (especially the Basel stuff that has little to do with art) and so after testing the waters on Tuesday night at the Swarovski Crystal Palace opening night soiree at the Paris Theater, I dedicated my Thursday to Baseling myself profusely. I kicked off my shoes with an afternoon on the beach for the parade of inflatable sculptures, or as I like to call them — balloons. It was like Super Mario Brothers on South Beach. I just didn’t get it. Basel 1, Jon 0. Realizing that my gig revolved more around what took place after dark, I kicked off the fun at the Mondrian South Beach preview with designer Marcel Wanders, who already has me convinced that the Mirador is going to be a really cool place in about a year. Actress (and 411 fave) Jamie-Lynn Sigler was there with boyfriend Scott Sartiano, but I met up with them at the Raleigh penthouse for the Baume & Mercier holiday preview collection party. Checking out the watches and chug-a-lugging cocktails were Bridget Moynahan, Star Room owner Scott Storbo, Page Sixalot Samantha Cole and Vegas’ Jeff Beacher. I know what you are thinking. This isn’t art. But hey, open bar and passed hors d’oeuvres is definitely a beautiful sight. Just to cleanse my soul (and liver) a bit, I popped in to Bridge Art Fair at the Catalina Hotel. Every room had art, but only one had a bar so I didn’t last. Basel 2, Jon 0. I then got loco with Yoko Ono at Sagamore’s Social Miami for a party celebrating the launch of her XM radio series, scoped out the Versace fashion show at the MOCA Shaker soiree (Grey Goose MOCAtinis on the house) and attempted to catch a MAC-sponsored Dita Von Teese burlesqueapalooza at the Delano (but diva wouldn’t hit the stage until the full moon was completely out). I know, I know. There really wasn’t all that much hang-on-the-wall type of art at any of these, but hey, there was music, fashion and dance. That counts, right? Don’t answer that. I ended my Thursday evening at Mokai for the W South Beach Artist Commission party honoring Robin Rhode, who received a $75K commission. OK, so there wasn’t exactly art here either, but hey, at least there was an artist in the house. Also on hand were Mandy Moore, Nicky Hilton, Scott Storch, Russell Simmons, Pharrell Williams and Kanye West. The A-list lineup took over the club and all socialites who made it past the velvet ropes were treated to the sweet sound of celebrity. It may not be art, but it was certainly music to my ears.

* Phrase courtesy of socialite Alexis Zipp, who by all accounts coined the term.

CELEBS DIG ART

Oh yeah, Art Basel also had art and some celebrities were actually checking it out. Throughout the weekend Keanu Reeves, Jay-Z, Steve Martin, Martha Stewart and Paris Hilton all made their way through the Miami Beach Convention Center at some point to check out the uber-pricey artwork, according to various spies. Rumors spread that Reeves (who flew solo all weekend) even put in a bid on a $1.6 million piece. Also, at a Spoonfed apparel gallery showing off Cuban artist Jose Parla’s work, Kanye West put a $15K painting on hold, according to sources. So yeah, the art stuff was also popular.

RODDICK KEEPS POKER FACE WITH OLD QUEEN

Tennis stud Andy Roddick hosted his first annual Charity Celebrity Poker Tournament at Hard Rock Live in Seminole country on Friday night. Raising funds for the Andy Roddick Foundation, which targets children’s programs, the event brought out a wide array of celebrities — from athletes to porn stars. Among the poker players were Venus and Serena Williams, Nicky Hilton, Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys, Jeff Beacher, the cast of 8th and Ocean, porn star Stormy Daniels, Jason Taylor, and Dan Uggla of your Florida Marlins. The biggest head-turner in the crowd, though, was actress and former Roddick love-muffin Mandy Moore. Whispers about a love reconnection spread among the gossips at the event (OK, maybe it was just me and a weird inner monologue) but Roddick says they are just friends. Good for them, and good for the charity, because it was a pretty cool (and by all accounts successful) event.

THE HEIR UP THERE

Another couple making waves on the beach this weekend was perennial party girl Paris Hilton and her on-again Greek shipping heir boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos. The fun began Friday night at a Danny A. party at Ink, where the couple was joined by Nicky Hilton and the regular crew of Paris-ites: Scott Storch, Brandon Davis and Alex Von Furstenberg. A slobberfest broke out during Billy Idol’s “Mony, Mony” as Paris gave Stavros a three-song lapdance ($75 at Gold Rush for those wondering) to make up for the fight they had minutes earlier. Apparently she doesn’t appreciate him even looking in the direction of another female. The crew moved over to Mokai, where Hilton-squared chugged Patron from the bottle, Davis continued to sweat and Stavros kept his eyes focused on his lady. The happy couple danced the night away on couches and tables while smooching and boozing until around 3:15 a.m. She wanted to stay but he was ready for the freakfest back at their Shore Club bungalow so another argument broke out, but ultimately they moved the passion to the bedroom.

Paris’ partying continued Saturday night at the “Give a Lift” gala benefiting the Danielle DeMarzo Foundation and hosted by Nicky at Thomas Kramer’s Star Island home. Paris showed up late with Stavros in tow and pulled Nicky and company out of there as soon as possible. Having trouble with their limo service, Paris ended up riding out on Stavros’ lap in a two-seat BMW convertible. The whole group dined at Quattro, then headed to Prive for the “Couture Assassins” Art Basel event. Paris downed enough Stoli Elit and Red Bull to fall out of her top at times. The crew, sans Nicky, moved over to Mokai (with Paris ending up outside sans shoes) and then to Mynt before hopping seven-deep in a cab to Scott Storch’s Palm Island pad, where they watched the sunrise. Now that’s how you party. Britney, eat your heart out.

SPOTTED …

• Socialite Ashley Turchin getting her hair cut by Ric Pipino before they both celebrated their birthdays (separately) at Quattro last Tuesday night.

• Russell Simmons dancing and Nicky Hilton eyeing the free sushi (but opting to buy some next door) in the Red Room at Skybar on Wednesday night.

• Kanye West partying with Pharrell Williams at SMAC and Jessica Rosenblum’s “Basic Thursday” party, and Pharrell flying solo at Mynt on Friday night.

• Steve Martin, Martha Stewart, writer Bob Colacello, art collector Peter Brant and art dealer Tony Shafrazi joining actor Dennis Hopper at the “Art Loves Film” dinner party at the Delano Hotel’s Agua Spa on Friday night.

• Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis getting married Friday night at the Ritz South Beach. Fishstripes.com reports Josh Johnson is on deck — getting married next week in Hawaii.

• Beyonce and Jay-Z lunching at Quattro on Lincoln Road on Saturday afternoon.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Scott Sartiano sitting side by side at Nobu on Thursday night and Lenny Kravitz dining at the Shore Club hot spot Saturday night.

Got the 411? Send comments, questions and news items to Jon@miamisunpost.com.