Finesse With Food
Does Anyone in Casual South Florida Really Know How to Hold a Fork Properly? Or Care?

We’ve discussed the rules governing how to put food in your mouth. But there are times when something may need to come out.

By Mark Goldberg

We are always making a name for ourselves in the restaurant industry. From South Beach to Coconut Grove, Coral Gables and points north, we have some of the finest restaurants in the nation. We might even say the world. Yet, because of where we are, our lifestyle — and our manners — can often be considered casual. At best.

If it were simply elbows on the table, we could occasionally get away with it. But, let’s face it, most of us don’t know how to properly pass the salt. And we won’t even get into the wearing of shorts and golf shirts at an upscale evening meal.

A few months ago in this space we discussed the history of the fork. We never touched on the proper way to hold and use it. The fork, like all dining utensils, evolved from a form of weaponry. So when we sit down with others to break bread, we should hold our flatware delicately, carefully guiding it by the fingertips. Should you hold a utensil in your fist or point it at anyone, it could be considered a threat.

For some reason, all three eating utensils are intended for right-hand use. This can make things difficult when foods require the use of a knife and a fork. In that case, the fork is switched to the left hand, turned so that the tines point downward, and the right hand operates the knife. After a piece has been cut, the diner sets the knife down on the plate and transfers the fork to the right hand, so it can be used to carry the newly cut morsel to the mouth. That makes as much sense as wearing a belt and suspenders.

Thankfully, there is also the European method of eating. Here the fork is held in the left hand and used for eating. When food must be cut, the fork is used exactly as in the previous style, except that once the bite has been separated from the whole, it goes directly to the mouth from the downward-facing fork. Regardless of which style you use, you should never cut more than one or two bites at one time.

Another American rule that makes little sense is that you cannot use a helper (a knife or piece of bread) to help scoop small items onto your fork. Each must be pierced by the tines. Even peas and kernels of corn. Here, again, the Europeans come to our aid. Use your bread.

Did you know that your used eating utensils must never be allowed to touch the table, where they might dirty the cloth? Not even clean handles. But only leave them on your plate if the plate is flat. Bowls should have been served with a plate underneath for your used flatware.

There is also specific positioning for your silver. You should always place your fork on the left and knife on the right, so that they cross over the center of your plate. If you pass your plate for a second helping, set the fork and knife parallel to each other at the right side. When you are finished, place the fork and knife parallel to each other, so they lie either horizontally across the center of the plate or are on the diagonal, with the handles pointing to the right. Of course, the cutting edge of the knife blade should face toward you. That aggression thing again.

Napkin etiquette dictates that you only use it to dab at the lips and fingertips. Don’t dare to get it dirty in the process. It should go in your lap the moment you sit down. If it slips off your lap, it’s no different than a fork. Leave it on the floor. A waiter will bring you a clean one. When you’ve finished dining, place your napkin loosely next to your plate. Do not crumple or twist your napkin. Don’t refold it and do not leave it on your chair.

Speaking of your chair, you should sit up in it with good posture, no slumping. Your arms should be kept tucked into your body. And don’t lean back or bend forward with elbows on the table. Are we comfy now?

When someone asks you to pass the salt, you should assume they mean the salt and the pepper. Now this gets tricky. Pick up both shakers and set them back down on the table close to the person next to you. They, in turn, should do the same thing, from person to person until they reach the one initially requesting the salt. The shakers should never be passed hand-to-hand. And no one else should take any before it reaches the intended party.

Never cut bread with a knife. It should always be broken with the fingers. And the piece should not be any larger than two bites. Butter should be applied to the bread just before you eat it, with the exception of buttering hot rolls. Butter, itself, is seldom served at formal occasions.

We’ve discussed the rules governing how to put food in your mouth. But there are times when something may need to come out. The general rule for removing food from your mouth is that it should go out the same way it went in. Pits can be delicately dropped onto an open palm before placing them onto your plate. A piece of bone discovered in a forkful of chicken should be returned to the plate via the fork. Fish is an exception to the rule. It is acceptable to remove the tiny bones with your fingers, since they would be difficult to drop from your mouth onto the fork. If what you have to spit out will be extremely unattractive, there’s always your napkin, so that you can keep it out of sight.

The rules aren’t that difficult, just rather confining. And that guy sitting at the next table without socks isn’t really going to care what you do anyway. Enjoy your meal.

Comments? E-mail letters@miamisunpost.com.