A Whole New South Beach

I give it two months before the kid becomes Dannielynn Jolie-Pitt and the money gets donated to a fly farm in Africa.

By Jon Warech

Saturday night marked the official grand opening of Cameo and its upstairs VIP counterpart Vice. The crowd packed the joint early (at least by South Beach standards), and by midnight both levels were filled with pretty faces and local scenesters celebrating alongside the Cameo team of David Grutman, Louis Puig, Ken Smith, Cal Fortis, Brian Gordon and Emi Guerra. Working the ones and twos for the early set was Brent Bolthouse, an LA nightlife guru local Miamians also seemed to recognize from hit TV show The Hills. Bolthouse had the crowd rockin’ with an eclectic mix of popular jams and oldies but goodies. Mixing Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” with the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was my personal favorite. Anyway, with the help of Zack Bush and Erica Freshman, it was shoulder to shoulder in Vice and the crowd was mingling, boozing and dancing along in celebration of Grutman’s bar mitzvah, I mean, the club’s opening. Mauricio took over the turntables late night and Cedric Gervais rocked Cameo, and if one person left the building sober it would be a shock to me. It was a great night all around and with a new club in the mix, expect the corner of Espańola and Washington to be even more of a scene than usual. (I bet Pizza Rustica’s sales quadruple.) That said, Set (Opium Group’s Lincoln Road venture) is slated to officially kick things off Friday with Steve Aoki spinning, and Sin nightclub opens “officially” tonight in the old Amika spot. So, get ready for a new-look South Beach with (yikes!) more than two options per night. Can you handle it?

BLIND, CRIPPLED AND CRAZY ON SATURDAY NIGHT

Which tough-guy club owner waltzed into Mokai at 4:30 a.m. Saturday night and “bitch-slapped” a pretty-faced promoter who brought his model posse to the competing club? … Which promoter ended up with stitches after he threw down with a drunkard who attempted to “motorboat” his girlfriend on Saturday night? … Which fat, hairy nightlife columnist drank enough Saturday night to kill a small horse? (Don’t answer that last one.)

Getty Images/Stringer
TRAGEDY AT HARD ROCK

Everyone in town — hell, everyone in the world — was talking about Anna Nicole Smith’s mysterious and untimely death in her hotel room at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino on Thursday afternoon. While we may never have all the answers, it’s clear the high school dropout turned Wal-Mart employee turned stripper turned Playboy cover girl turned widow of a 90-year-old billionaire turned reality TV star certainly lived out the American dream in her 39 years of life. Up for grabs in this mess is Smith’s 5-month-old daughter, who could potentially inherit an insane amount of money ($10 from Wal-Mart pension, $500 million from the dead geezer) — and wouldn’t you know it, FIVE guys are claiming to be the father. What are the odds? I give it two months before the kid becomes Dannielynn Jolie-Pitt and the money gets donated to a fly farm in Africa. Anyway, expect Howard Killer Stern (that is what the K stands for, isn’t it?) to win the Dannielynn lottery, sell a book/screenplay about his experience and/or kill himself before the summer. Does Vegas have odds on this? If you can bet on the length of the national anthem at the Super Bowl, you should definitely be able to drop a few hundo on the Dannielynn baby-daddy odds. Come on, Maloofs. Make it happen.

Getty Images/Publicity
F**K THE POLICE

The Grammys sucked serious ass on Sunday night and the misery began in the first minute of the show when The Police reunited for a painful version of “Roxanne.” Obviously on Monday, Sting and company announced they will reunite for a summer tour that thankfully does not include Miami ... yet. Right now, the closest show is in the city formerly known as New Orleans, but if all goes well, I could see them adding a SoFla performance. Yippy!

ZO — THE LEADER OF THE PACK

It looks like it is going to be a busy couple of weeks off the court for Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning. Zo announced he will join forces with The Transplant Foundation (affiliated with the Miller School of Medicine at the University of Miami) for a new statewide campaign to promote organ donor awareness and to fund research, transplant patient services and education. Nike will also honor Mourning on Feb. 24 at a Black History Month reception, where a limited edition shoe tied to the story of the Underground Railroad will be unveiled. The shoe is not for sale but will be distributed to 500 African-American leaders and influencers in the United States. Order up an extra-large pair for Zo.

UPCOMING …

Wilhelmina Models and VH1 celebrate the Miami debut of the new reality series The Agency with an exclusive screening and launch party on Friday night at new Lincoln Road hot spot Set. Hosted by Michael Capponi and Eric Milon, the VIP evening starts at 10 p.m. and my guess is, if there are celebs in town, they will be there.

SPOTTED …

• Hockey great Wayne Gretzky hosting a private dinner for the Phoenix Coyotes at The Forge on Friday night. Dressed in khakis and sports coats, the squad sucked down stone crabs and shrimp.

• James Caan drinking Stolichnaya Elit in the Red Room at Shore Club’s Skybar on Saturday night. Also in the house: The Rock.

• Desperate Housewives’ Eva Longoria cheering on her man Tony Parker, as the Spurs got waxed by your Miami Heat on Sunday at AmericanAirlines Arena.

Got the 411? Send comments, questions and news items to jon@miamisunpost.com.