Howl at the Moon

Unfortunately, Alan couldn’t fit his famous bullhorn into the tight quarters.

Hulk hits Nikki Beach.
Photo by Alissa Christine Photography

By Kris Conesa

The spooky luminosity of the full moon has been known to bring out the weirdoes and/or werewolves, but couple that with the eerie backdrop of a total eclipse and what you get is 300 or so smelly hippies who are truly addicted to drums. Far away from anything remotely resembling South Beach cool, on the sand just off of 85th Street, this generation’s would-be Woodstockers gyrated to the pulsating beats under the Miami moon last Saturday. While some claimed to be there to commune with the mystical powers of the cosmos, others became slaves to the dark beats merely as an excuse to tie one on without the constraints of a South Beach bar tab. The unmistakable aroma of marijuana and patchouli permeated the air as hundreds of barefoot dancers gathered around to celebrate the moon in all her glory. The crowd was an eclectic mix of lunatics, ranging in age from 3 to 40, and was mostly huddled around a small drum circle. While some laid out blankets and battery-powered candles to aid in their meditation, other more wide-eyed revelers seemed to be transfixed on the swirling flames of several fire performers who were putting on quite a gasoline-fueled act.

“I love it,” said a bewitching reveler named Janelle Sola. “There are some people that are on drugs and there some that are just here because it’s cathartic. I just think it’s so cool. Everyone focuses on the beat and they dance and sway in the name of nature.”

Unwashed heathens weren’t the only ones gathered under the stars. The Raleigh’s weekly Sunday Soiree, a party conceived and promoted by TAI Entertainment’s Tommy Pooch and Alan Roth also played host to a bevy of chic hipsters at the Remnants of a Full Moon party on Sunday night.

Kelis hits the police station,
then Nas’ concert. Getty Images

Damn Right It’s Better Than Yours

Prolific rapper Nas was in town to host the True Religion Fashion Show at Mansion, Friday night. It was his Milkshakin’ wife, R&B singer Kelis, however, who stole the show earlier in the day when she was arrested for allegedly shouting racial slurs at two undercover cops posing as prostitutes. The pink-haired lady was charged with two misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Having been released on a $1,500 bond, the singer was none the worse for wear later on that night when Nas took to the stage and delivered an impromptu performance, rapping a few tracks from his latest album. He dedicated the set to Kelis with these words: “My beautiful wife, I love you!” She, in turn, blew him kisses as she drank champagne from the VIP room.

Cecille Gahr hits Cameo. CW Television

Where Time Has No Reign

There’s a place in downtown Miami where time ceases to exist. Take a moment to picture this if the constraints of your rational mind will allow. Friday night has come and gone and the Saturday sun has been well at work for a few hours now. Yet, at the 24-hour nightspot Twilo, a few doors down from my favorite after-hours location, Goldrush, there are no clocks or any other concept of chronology anywhere in sight. Speaking of Goldrush though, Skye or whatever your stripper name is these days, 200 bucks buys a hell of lot more than that in the VIP room, honey! My apologies, I digress. Getting back to Twilo, an anachronistic medley of people who should have been well at home and in bed was, instead, partying late Saturday morning like it was still midnight. The occasion, as if one was needed, was to celebrate the birthday of DJ/producer Danny Tenaglia. How can I put this and still remain tactful? It was absolutely the craziest shit I’ve ever seen. The fantastically fabulous door personality Alan T gave his DJ lover, Tenaglia, quite the b-day surprise when he donned a skintight red dress and jumped out of a cake. Did I mention the red fishnet stockings? I tried really hard to repress that image. Unfortunately, Alan couldn’t fit his famous bullhorn into the tight quarters. No, perverts, that wasn’t a sexual reference; I really mean he couldn’t fit it in the cake with him. The bullhorn was a gift to T from Diddy, and he uses it to yell atrocities to people lining the sidewalk of whatever door he’s working on a given night.

Viggo Mortensen hits the red carpet at the Gusman Tuesday night. Photo courtesy of the Miami International Film Festival

After the After-Party

There’s another place, much like Twilo, that’s open 24 hours and the people there are on all sorts of drugs. It’s sort of the after-hours after-party, and sometimes, after a night/day of partying, people are driven there by their own private chauffeurs. It’s called Mount Sinai Medical Center and I recently had the unlucky chore of accompanying a very sexy loved one to the emergency room there. If you’ll allow me this indulgence, I just wanted to give a shot out to all the personalities that made baby better: The two pasty white spring break chicks with all the crying and the drama over a chipped tooth. The crazy homeless guy talking to himself and drop-kicking the wind. The volunteer lady who brought her a rose and the other one who found her when she got lost. The doctors who operated and the nurses who took care of her and whoever hooked her up with that phat room with a view. Much love — at least until the bill comes.

Spotted …

• The lead singer of Swedish punk band The Hives shakin’ it like a saltshaker on top of one of the speakers at Set Thursday night.

• Season 3 Beauty and the Geek lovely Cecille Gahr hosting the festivities at Cameo Friday night.

• A shirtless Tommy Lee commandeering the DJ booth at Set Saturday night and dropping a wicked mix of Euro house on the ones and twos.

• Terry “Hulk” Hogan and daughter Brooke at Nikki Style 2nd Annual Model Volleyball Tournament on Sunday.

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