Jello Biafra riffed on everyone from the Governator to Hillary Clinton.

Last week the SunPost ran a story headlined “Life on the Outside,” which profiled the frustrations of two sexual offenders who are not able to raise a family after completing their prison sentences. One of the two offenders profiled was William Eades of Tallahassee, who was released from prison in 2005 after serving a sentence related to filming a minor engaged in sex acts with him. (Eades contends that the girl in question was nearly 18 and already had a child. His registration with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, however, states that he committed lewd and lascivious acts on a child under 16.)

Although his sentence is complete, Eades must register himself for life as a sex offender. Upon release he married Janet Keesey, who has a 10-year-old son. Eades, now an electrician who also works as a minister at a halfway house, and his wife complained to the SunPost that the courts decided that Janet’s ex-husband should receive custody. The courts then later ruled that Eades was to have no contact with Janet’s son. “We made a terrible mistake but we have paid for our crime and should be treated humanely, not legislated underground, which is just what is currently happening,” Eades told the SunPost, referring to sex offenders.

The article received an immediate response from Sheila Keesey of Gibson City, Ill. “My husband is the father of the child referred to in the article,” she wrote in an e-mail. “My comment is: Mr. Eades and his current wife were not very thorough in the statements that they made to the newspaper. All I have to say is: that William Eades had supervised visits with his new wife’s and my husband’s child, in the beginning. What he and his wife (Janet) failed to relay to the media, is that the supervisor that they BOTH picked was a convicted SEXUAL PREDATOR. That is why there is now a NO CONTACT order from the court !!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Sheila’s e-mail was followed by a phone call from biological father, Wilbur Keesey, who opined that Eades had played the SunPost like a fiddle. Wilbur Keesey informed Murmurs that Eades had the right to see his new stepson, so long as the visits were supervised. According to Keesey, Janet and her new husband could pick the supervisor. One of these supervisors, a woman in the ministry named Denise, observed as the boy was given instruction in sex education, Keesey said.

When his son returned to his home, Keesey called Janet and asked who else supervised the boy. Janet said it was “Mr. Ed.” “Who is this Mr. Ed? Give me a last name,” he demanded. “None of your damn business,” was Janet’s reply, according to Keesey.

It took a call from Keesey’s lawyer to get the full name: Edward William Cameron. He was convicted of sexual battery on a minor under the age of 12 and is labeled a sexual predator by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. He will be on parole until 2016. “This is why William Eades has no contact with my son,” Keesey said.

Contacted by Murmurs, Janet said she wanted her son to know about the “facts of life” prior to returning to Illinois. Denise pulled educational information from the Internet from Encyclopedia Britannica to instruct the boy. And, knowing such a thing was pretty much radioactive, Eades wasn’t even in the room, she insisted. A case opened by DCF on the incident “was closed in a month,” she said.

As for Cameron, Eades explained that only once was he the third-party supervisor — when they stayed at his house last Christmas holiday. During the day, Eades said he and Cameron were building a shed in the back yard while Janet and her son watched a football game. “I knew him in prison at the faith dorm in LCI [Liberty Correctional Institution] and yes, he is a sexual predator,” Eades said of the 6-foot-2-inch, 260-pound man. But the court order for third-party supervision only stated that the person “had to be someone who knew the situation — well, he knew the situation.”

Keesey also said he would have never known about the article if Eades hadn’t sent him a link to it. “I want my children to be safe,” Keesey said, including the eight stepchildren of his current wife. Safety from certain individuals is part of the reason why he likes his new home in Gibson City. “This town is a mile long and a half-mile wide. There is no place where a [registered] sex offender [can live] in this town. There are too many schools and day cares. I love this town.”

There’s Always Room for Jello

Some politically inspired finger puppets provided an audience-thrilling preface to a four-hour rant about the Iraq war and other annoyances, like text messaging and junk mail by political foghorn and former Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra, Saturday at Studio A.

With one finger in Condoleezza Rice and one finger in George Bush, Biafra segued into a very long set peppered with more than a few new irritants from the audience, like loud offstage talkers and relentlessly bad impressions of the California Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Told almost entirely in characteristically charged and pun-ridden run-on sentences, it seemed like no political icon was safe from Biafra’s puppet-finger-pointing accusations of warmongering, as he dirty laundry-listed, much from memory, those who directly and indirectly, if there can be an indirectly, have contributed to “King Bush’s” ongoing cover version of Vietnam.

Biafra’s main-idea paragraph: Cut the funding. Because everyone, from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama, has voted in various capacities to keep funding the war, plus lack of funding was the only way the Vietnam “occupation” really ended.

Another part of his rant: Junk mail sucks. Over the years Biafra has received letters of party support from both the Bush and Hillary Clinton campaigns. Never mind that Biafra, a longtime anti-war activist, is reportedly a self-proclaimed anarchist who was beat out for the Green Party ticket nomination in 2000 by one Ralph Nader. The best part: The letters were addressed not to his legal name, Eric Reed Boucher, but to “Jello Biafra.”

A few angles of his set were lost on some of the Miami kids who don’t happen to listen to NPR — namely, drug abuse and the power struggle over, well, power, in his home state of California (remember the blackouts?), the cost hikes associated with them and the horrors that our techno-culture has inflicted on society. (Some of the technophobe’s performances can be found online at his label’s Web site, www.alternativetentacles.com, or on his recorded spoken word albums, which you could, ironically, download to your heart’s content — although Murmurs would NEVER advocate ANY “grass-roots” downloading, ahem.)

Drugs you say? According to Biafra, the United States Government could have ended the war on drugs years ago if they’d just invested a fraction of the money that gets invested in the so-called war into buying the drugs and burning them.

Then they would stop “killing my friends,” said Biafra.

Murmurs says “lost on some of the Miami kids,” not only because of the cries of “SMOKE IT!” at the very utterance of the word “opium,” but also owing to the unfortunate patron who, “feeling a little green,” as he put it, passed out on Murmurs in a sneak attack from behind, Wile E. Coyote-style, in the ticket line.

Studio A staff, apparently very experienced at handling such situations, asked the passed-out patron many a question to make sure he was indeed OK after they, and the sidewalk, woke him up.

“Did I hit my chin?” the young fellow asked Murmurs.

“Well actually you hit the concrete, replied Murmurs. “I would have caught you, man, but I thought you were trying to steal my wallet.”

This is Miami, after all.

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