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Market Madness
By Kris Conesa
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Yep, even celebrity columnists get their cars towed.
File photo by Mitchell Zachs/MagicalPhotos.com |
Though
I often wake up with no recollection of where I was or
what I did the night before, it’s easy enough to recall
the best
Basel soiree. It had to be the über-opulent bash at the
estate of J.R. and Loren Ridinger, where a
barrage of celebrities and VIPs, including Lucy Liu,
Pharrell Williams, Paulina Rubio and
Michael Bay, all attended and were treated to
champagne and a screening of the Mayweather vs.
Hatton fight aboard the 157-foot floating mansion
known as the Utopia III. Yes, that I remember
quite vividly, but the chick lying next to me last
Saturday morning — not so much.
Anyway, the reason I mention it is because the Ridingers,
who together run Market
America, are holding their annual
Leadership
School this weekend. Last year’s event generated an
estimated $17 million for our little community. But more
importantly, experience has taught us that Ridinger
shindigs, such as last year’s pre-Super Bowl party,
include all manner of notables, such as Fergie,
J-Lo and Marc Anthony. The
Leadership
School event should be no different since it’s taking
place at the American Airlines Arena today through
Saturday. It is also where Market America, the Ridingers’
company, plans to launch its new entertainment portal.
The Ridingers are also planning to announce partnerships
with top musicians. The Web site is billed as the
“ultimate destination to purchase CDs and products
associated with their favorite artists, buy concert
tickets for upcoming shows, download music, and will be
a platform for interaction between fans and their
favorite artists.” Whatever. We only care about the fact
that Kimora Lee Simmons will be there, and
Paulina Rubio is slated to close out the festivities
with a performance. There are supposed to be a bunch of
other celebs attending, but it’s a state secret just who
among the 20,000 visitors will be VIPs. Guess you’ll
have to wait till next week to find out who was there.
No Parking Zone
Sometimes the demands of the day carry over into my
nightlife, and, conversely, there are times when my
nightlife carries over into my days. Such was the case
when this intrepid reporter was sobering up with coffee
and cigarettes an hour before he was scheduled to make a
television appearance. A typical Thursday morning by
South Beach standards, I was without any REM activity,
midway into a sinus headache and of course, very, very
late. Upon pulling up to the Standard Hotel, the site of
the aforementioned television show set, I found myself
in the unenviable position of trying to find an empty
parking space. With valet six cars behind and not one
single legal place to station my ride, I did what anyone
in that situation would do: I parked in a residential
spot clearly marked “Tow-away Zone.” Yes, I’m an idiot.
I know. Still, I rationalized this idiotic move by
telling myself it was OK because it was 9 a.m. and
everybody was at work, and I would only be there for a
short while and yada, yada, yada. You can guess the
inevitable conclusion. What you probably don’t know,
unless you know about my attention deficit disorder, is
that I was traveling with an expired temporary tag and
owed about $600 in parking tickets that I had accrued
while hanging out at Karu&Y and Stereo/ParkWest (my new
favorite place to be a degenerate). So, the cops told
Tremont Towing not to release my car until I had paid
all the tickets, gotten the proper registration and
jumped through about 20 more hoops because they thought
my ride might have been stolen. The point of all this is
that about $1,000 of my hard-earned bucks just left my
bank account and landed in the coffers of local
government. It’s OK because I deserved it, but since
it’s my money, I feel I should have a say as to where it
goes.
And so I would like to now publicly direct my money to
some of my pet projects. Call them my personal earmarks.
Every day, on the way to work, I hit the same pothole on
Dade Boulevard
at about 23rd Street. I would like the city of
Miami Beach
to fix that ASAP.
Also, if the city would be a dear and take part of that
money and buy itself some more red tape, that would be
very ironic and comedic. I love making people laugh, so
that would be worth it, right?
Oh, and if the city could take care of that nasty odor
’round the corner from Mansion. That would be super,
thanks.
Spotted:
John Mayer
on
Lincoln Road,
and then again at the Florida Room on Friday.
Robin Thicke
and wife Paula Patton sitting in the VIP lounge
of Mansion with Scott Storch and Australian VJ
Sydney Dean on Friday.
Enrique Iglesias
and Anna Kournikova at Taste Wednesday before
last.
Billy Joel
dining at Quattro Restaurant on Lincoln Road, Monday
night.
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