The SunPost

Ordinary South Beach happenings can outdo any bizarre imports. Just ask Kaye Tuckerman, a singer who channels a Marlene Dietrich-type chanteuse in Spiegelworld, an assembly of wacky acts taking place in a circus tent in Miami Beach through Feb. 17.

“I was sitting at the Lincoln Road mall and I saw a man riding around on a bicycle with a chicken. Now, you don’t see that every day!” exclaimed Tuckerman, her eyes saucer-like, as she recounted her encounter with the famous South Beach rooster, Mr. Clucky.

Spiegelworld and its premier show Absinthe — a sexy circus with heart-stopping acrobatics, bendy contortionists, burlesque acts and other high-jinks — arrived in South Florida in mid-December, after selling out in New York City.

But Tuckerman was unprepared for the bizarre facets of South Beach life — the inimitable Mr. Clucky, of course, and the number of celebrities popping up in the audience.

“Just after New Year’s Eve, Dylan McDermott came in, and he was with another guy, who was kind of cute, but I just said ‘hi’ and didn’t think anything of it. And then my friend told me it was Gerard Butler. Oh, my god!” said Tuckerman, still berating herself for not recognizing the movie star. “I rented 300, and then I saw P.S. I Love You, and I had myself a regular Gerard Butler film festival. No wonder I don’t have a boyfriend.”

A classically trained soprano, Tuckerman was living in Australia a few years ago when a friend convinced her to compete in a cabaret competition. “I won, and before I knew it, I was on a plane to New York,” she said. She has many theatrical credits, and was busy performing abroad when she got a telegram from a Spiegelworld producer, asking her to fill in at the New York show. “I’d never seen it,” she said, but the next thing she knew, she was Miami bound.

Not all the cast members can be found frolicking in South Beach; the Ashton family, husband and wife Michael and Susan and son Miles, who do an acrobatic act, head back to Sarasota whenever they get a break. Michael met Susan when she was performing in a tent circus. Michael had been set to play Las Vegas and Branson, Mo., but 9/11 happened, and he found himself out of work. He hooked up with the tent show, and, he recalls, “The next thing I knew, I had a wife and a baby.” That baby, 17-month-old Cheyenne, may very well make her debut with this show. They like Miami Beach, but home is best. “We go to the supermarket and the mall; we’re the show’s most boring people,” Ashton said.

Hmmmmm, performers who head back to Florida’s quiet West Coast whenever they can were not exactly what I had in mind as wacky interviewees, so I turned my attention to The Gazillionaire and Penny. This duo is the linchpin of the Spiegelworld, well, world. Having enjoyed their shtick three times now (twice at Absinthe, the signature show, and once at the opening night of the companion show, The Gazillionaire’s Late Nite Lounge), I really didn’t want to know this zany duo as anything other than The Gazillionaire, the snarkiest, richest man on earth, and Penny, his dippy sidekick. For the record, their real names are Voki Kalfayan and Anais Thomassian.

Here’s what they had to say:

So, what do you think of South Beach?

The Gazillionaire: It’s an interesting place. It’s interesting to get things done down here. Little bit of beach mentality, you know. Four o’clock doesn’t necessarily mean 4 o’clock. If someone is supposed to be there at 4 o’clock, you don’t know if they will be there at 4 or at 7:30, and you need to be cool with that. People kind of have their own thing going on.

But, since you’re a Gazillionaire, people must show you a lot of respect.

The Gazillionaire: You would think so, wouldn’t you? But, in South Beach, when you throw the cash around, you never know who is going to take the bribe and who isn’t. Some people get offended. So the key is that you just have to carry around a lot of cash, and know when to use it or not.

How do you find the audience here on South Beach?

The Gazillionaire: New York audiences have “seen it all and done it all,” and even if they haven’t, they want to pretend they have. Los Angeles is a pretty conservative city overall. But when we come here, it’s like everyone who comes is ready to party. And there is a great variety of people. With the Late Nite Lounge, it’s a late-night show. You’ve x’ed out the people who go to bed at 8 and you’ve made it very clear who’s going to be there — coke heads.

Penny: And as my dad always says, the magic only starts to happen when it gets really, really late and if you’ve started drinking really early.

The Gazillionaire: Penny, Penny, this is a reporter, not a therapist. [As an aside to me] Her therapist has boxes of these tapes, he hasn’t gone digital yet, so there are endless amounts of tapes.

I know this is hard for you to believe, being the Gazillionaire and all, but there are some people who might not know yet what Spiegleworld is all about. What do you want them to know?

The Gazillionaire: For us, the biggest thing is the intimacy of this experience, of what you can experience in a Spiegeltent, because it is so small and so hot and so close that everything, from comedy to acrobatics to burlesque, is right in your face.

Penny: And, if you haven’t shaved your armpits, they definitely see that. If you’re sweating in certain places, you can’t hide it. You have to shave.

The Gazillionaire: Yes, shave your armpits. It’s one of our top 10 rules at Spiegelword.

So, with all your gazillions of dollars, why do you work so hard? After all, it’s very often you do two shows a night, both Absinthe and the Late Nite Lounge.

The Gazillionaire: Ah, what else am I going to do? It’s certainly not for the money we’re making. It’s for the fun of it. This is like Party Extreme. Party “X.” I have my own party and everyone has to watch me. So it’s really about partying with the audience, and they are paying to party with me, and (sigh), with Penny as well.

Absinthe and The Gazillionaire’s Late Nite Lounge continue through Feb. 17. Times and cost vary; see www.spiegelworld.com for more information. Kaye Tuckerman’s one-woman show is Tuesday, Jan. 29, at 10 p.m., and the cost is $20.

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