VD Blues

By Kris Conesa

Papa Rudy’s is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Photos by Albert Siegel

So, I’m feeling a little sensitive today. I just watched Sleepless in Seattle for, believe it or not, the first time. I have to admit, I got a little teary-eyed at the end. Then, of course, I remembered that the last time I had a valentine, I spent the day getting into a huge fight with my significant other. It involved hair pulling, blowing up heart-shaped balloons, lots of profanity and the bitch taking my X-box hostage. I eventually got it back unharmed. Nevertheless, it was a poignant reminder that this corporate shrill of a holiday, or VD, as I've taken to calling it, was simply made up by the sinister heart-shaped candy and greeting card consortium to further fill their coffers with our hard-earned loot.

Oh, and let’s not forget people who own clubs like BED and Tantra. Actually, I take that back. I happen to know for a fact that Lance Tinkler and Lee Lyon, the owners of BED, are very much actively pursuing love. They, like me, suffer from the same impediment to true love, which is that we get labeled crazy club kids who are not to be trusted in matters of the heart — a misconception, to say the least. Anyway, for those lucky enough to find their match, BED’s official Valentine’s Day celebration invites couples to slip off their shoes and jump into bed for an evening of mouthwatering fare and a sexy atmosphere to set the mood. Couples will enjoy their own private candlelit bed sprinkled with rose petals and a three-course, seven-dish, tapas-style menu — perfect for nibbling and sharing with the one you love. Also included is a bottle of Moët & Chandon Rosé Champagne to complete the evening.

I don’t know, man, call me jaded, but bah humbug! Going back to the Sleepless in Seattle reference, there are no happy endings. The truth is that Tom Hanks is just a bad, negligent father who didn't even notice his kid flying across the country to meet a stranger. Call me bitter, but I call it pragmatism. Dating and relationships can be like the good sex that comes with them — rough or fun. If you’re alone this VD, watch a sappy movie and fall in love with the notion of being in love. Believe me, sometimes it’s better than the real thing. Also, try and think back to when you were in a relationship and how badly you wanted to be single again. On the other hand, if you’re with someone tonight, don’t get caught up in the cupid charade and remember marriage statistics aren’t in your favor.

Either way, take this as solace. True Romance is more than just a Tarentino film or a candlelit dinner, and it does exist.

Still, if you insist on going out, another great location for you to scope out is the newly opened digs of Nikki Coconut Grove. The newest Nikki opened its doors on the 31st with a spectacular white party that saw Alonzo Mourning and his wife Tracy come out to support Jack Penrod’s latest venture. Honestly, this place could be the Grove’s saving grace. It’s supposed to be more of a dinner destination, but believe me, this place gets crazy after dessert.

SuperGossip II

In the gossip pages, I mentioned during the Super Bowl that Miami Beach was in the house in Arizona for the football fun. Collectively, local boys Brian Gordon, Dave Grutman, Alan Roth, Tommy Pooch and Matt Heien put on some of the hottest and most publicized events. What I didn’t tell you was that the 944 Village hosted both the Pontiac Garage and the 50 Cent concert, where 50 kicked Paris Hilton off stage when she tried to steal the limelight! That was the cause. The effect? The heiress burst into tears for a half-hour. Feeling bad that Hilton was in tears, South Beach jeweler Haimov gifted Paris a $35,000 watch at the event.

Other local events produced by South Beach peeps included the Victoria’s Secret party with all the Angels launching MY Fries — low-calorie, model-friendly French fries! There also were two ESPN the Magazine concerts, one with Ludacris and Ciara, the other with Souljah Boy. Jeez, you think they’ll gift me a watch for mentioning all this?

Spotted:

Grammy Award-winning Spanish crooner Alejandro Sanz at Market America on Friday. Kimora Lee Simmons and Paulina Rubio were also there on Saturday night. The latter performed to a packed house.

The Heat’s newest player, Shawn Marion, at Prime One Twelve on Sunday night. 

Reality star and hottie Kristin Cavallari at Atrium on Saturday.

 Lamar Odom and Kobe Bryant at Mansion on Friday.

 Actor Bryan Greenberg fending off throngs of fans at the Shore Club on Sunday.

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