These Celebs Are Exhausting!

By Kris Conesa

Chris Tucker, shown here at the Hollywood premiere of Rush Hour 3, showed up at The Forge this week to wish pal Shareef Malnik a happy birthday.

Wow, it’s only February and I’m already exhausted. I’m tired of shaking hands, making contacts and making out with strangers. I’m tired of hearing about what an insane Scott Storch did last night. I’m tired of promoters and publicists. I’m tired of people coming up to me and saying, “Hey, Kris, how are you?” and me not recognizing who the hell is speaking to me. I’m tired of writing between the lines — and of reading between the lines. I’m tired of players, playing and being played. I’m tired of women who think it’s chic to make out with other women. Wait, wait, wait, strike that — that never gets old. I am, however, very tired of texting, e-mails and cubicles. I'm tired of magazines sayin’ flat butts are the thing. I’m tired of open-door policies and Northerners who come down to Miami and think they’re cooler than us. I’m not, however, nor will I ever be, tired of watching them get denied entrance into the A-list clubs and being forced to hang out at Club Deep. In brief, I need a vacation. That’s why I’m going to Vegas. I need to relax. Otherwise, I’ll never make it through Winter Music Conference. In the meantime, people, I suggest you take a gander at these new parties hitting the scene.

Cocktails Anyone?

The new evolution of the cocktail hour is here and brought to you by the boys of Gorilla's Marketing. The crew has put together a new weekly event starting tonight and then every Thursday at Domo Japones in the Design District. Domo, owned by my hero Amir Ben-Zion, who also owns the Townhouse Hotel, Buck 15 and Miss Yip’s, will be the new home of a party called “Cocktails Anyone?” The party is billed as “uptown meets downtown” and will focus on the art of the cocktail as brought to you by famed mixologist Albert Trummer, who will create a one-of-a-kind and exclusive cocktail menu for the weekly gathering. Cocktails Anyone? kicks off tonight (Thursday) with media hosts Eater.com and Plum TV. Guests will be treated to specialty 10 Cane cocktails while listening to DJ Induce rip it up on the ones and twos.

Graham Funke Railroad?

Mokaï maniacs will be happy to hear that world-famous celebrity DJs StoneRokk and Graham Funke will take to the decks tomorrow night (Friday). The duo is in town as part of their U.S. Trabajo Mixtape Tour, which is presented by OK! magazine and Five Four Clothing. They will most likely entertain the crowd with an eclectic mix of hip-hop, house and pop. Snow Queen Vodka is the booze of choice at this event sponsored by Reebok and Ciplex.com.

Don’t know who these DJs are? Only some of America's most sought-after talent behind the decks. StoneRokk and Graham Funke can be seen nightly in Los Angeles at exclusive clubs such as Hyde, Area, Les Deux, Privilege and Opera. They also hold residencies in Las Vegas, Chicago, New York and more. Their unique style and dramatic encounters with the rehab-socialites of LA have made them known to celebrities, club goers and the dance music culture alike. They are often handpicked to play at private gigs for such notables as George Clooney, Christina Aguilera, Sting, Jennifer Aniston, Kid Rock, Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Brett Ratner and Robbie Williams. Now, they’ll be spinning here for your listening pleasure.

SuperBadrutt’s

Badrutt’s Place will be the location of another spectacular grand opening from 6 to 9 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 27. Brickell’s swank new bar and restaurant features a Davidoff Cigar Lounge and a state-of-the-art sound system presided over by resident Andres Amadeus. Owner Johannes Badrutt, whose family is responsible for the legendary Badrutt’s Palace resort in St. Moritz, will bring sophistication and handcrafted furniture, plus an internationally inspired menu including entrées, tapas and caviar. In other words, high-class yummies, baby.

Birthday Blowout

Chris Tucker made an appearance at The Forge to wish a happy birthday to owner Shareef Malnik at his b-day shindig during The Forge’s popular Wednesday night dinner party. The evening also honored Shareef’s father, Al Malnik, who is currently gracing the cover of Haute Living magazine.

Spotted:

Magic Johnson dining at DeVito’s South Beach Wednesday before last.

The gorgeous Kelly Carlson was also there with about 10 friends on the same night.

John Legend at Social Miami on Valentine's Day.

Michael Bay, Alex Rodriguez, Anthony Michael Hall and Mike Piazza at the all-glitz and no-glam Ocean Drive magazine party on Saturday night. Seriously, what’s going on over there? The usual slews of celebs were almost nonexistent, and some of those who showed up had to sneak in through the back. It was billed as a million-dollar party? Ha, please.

Comments? E-mail letters@miamisunpost.com.