The Ultimate Chick Flick

By Kris Conesa

Justin Timberlake showed Jessica Biel the love in Miami last weekend.

Quick, help me think of some excuses. I mean, it’s common knowledge that I burst into little girl tears whenever The Notebook or Lifetime television is on, but I like to do that sniveling at home, alone, sitting in the dark with no one around to mock my shame — preferably with lots of alcohol. You know, like a real man. Still, this is different. If you don’t help me come up with some, eh, legitimate reasons, I’ll be forced to endure the torture that is the ultimate chick flick — and I doubt there will be any cuddling afterwards.

That’s right, I’m talking about Sex and the City. It’s in theaters on Friday and some, uh, lucky few will have a chance to check out the highly anticipated film tonight at the Regal South Beach Cinemas on Lincoln Road.

I just want to thank Mercedes-Benz for inviting me to this. Now, I have one less day to start coming up with excuses as to why Mr. Big and I don’t mesh. This has to be believable, you know. If the fairer sex suspects that I’m fibbing and I just really want to go see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull one more time, I won’t hear the end of it. My significant other will get together with her version of Samantha, start talking about handbags and then, boom, it’s all over for me just like it was for the Russian.

Oh well. At the very least I’ll be able to do some good for a cause I truly believe in. No, I’m not talking Camille Paglia’s. I’m referring to Dress for Success, an organization whose tagline is Suits to Self-Sufficiency. The advance screening tonight will also give moviegoers the opportunity to donate either a new or semi-new pair of professional shoes.

Now, jeez, let me see, where did I put my Jimmy Choos?

Dress for Success is an international nonprofit that promotes economic independence for disadvantaged women by providing professional attire. Only a woman could come up with a nonprofit charity for the shoeless. Not that there’s anything wrong with that — I love a good cause. Besides, everyone is entitled to a pair of Choos. I think it’s in the Constitution.

Anyway, the advance screening starts at 7 p.m., and if you give away the aforementioned shoes, Dress for Success will give you a couple of tickets to check out Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha in all their silver screen glory. You see, no good deed goes unpunished.

Personally, I can’t wait to hit the after-party at the Florida Room. Ryan Leslie, singer/producer, is scheduled to perform. He’s the guy who sings “Diamond Girl” and “Addiction,” but really I’m just looking forward to the emotional upheaval that will no doubt ensue following the Carrie/Mr. Big wedding. Many of my female friends have already intimated that that will be the precise moment they lose it and start crying in the theater. I plan to be Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers and exploit them for my own sinister purposes. Hey, what can I say? I’m a man.

JT hearts JB

On Friday night, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel made their way to Set nightclub on Lincoln Road, despite the 350,000 youths in town for “Black Beach Week.” The happy couple arrived a little after midnight and made their way to the upstairs VIP room. Once there, they ordered shots of tequila and had a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka on ice.

Rumors are swirling about a proposal in the works. Wouldn’t it be awesome if it happened right here in the Magic City? You never know; JT has been spending a lot of time down here lately. He’s been spotted at the Flamingo, where some say some of his old college buddies live, though others swear he has rented a place there. Either way, JT and JB were seen dancing real close and kissing till the wee hours of the morning. Ah, to be young and in love.

Spotted Memorial Day weekend:

Young Joc on Saturday at the club formerly known as Ink, now known as something else (I’m not going to waste your time making you remember because they’re closing down any minute now).

Uncle Luke at Barchetta on Wednesday and then again at SoBe Live on Friday.

NBA superstar Allen Iverson at The Forge’s Soul Kitchen Sunday party. Brett Ratner was also there wearing his trademark jeans, white shirt and a blazer.

Jadakiss in a black SUV outside of Cameo.

DMX walking down the street on Collins Avenue and 69th Street.

Lil Scrappy and his crew getting into some beef on Washington Avenue and Eighth Street.