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The SunPost 2008 Best Of South Florida Editors’ Choice / BEST OF OUR ADVERTISERS
BEST REASON TO DRINK The Economy No, no, man, it’sss okay. I’m not drunk. Pour another shot. It’sss ok. I’m not driving. Fuckin’ $4-a-gallon gas, man, who can afford that shit? (Burp.) I just, excuse me. (Hiccup.) Like I was saying, foreclosure, man, fuckin’ foreclosure. I lost it all. Give me sssome fuckin’ whiskey. I don’t care if you think I’m being belligerent, the economy sucks! Wait, wait, fuckin’ Ed McMahon. Yeah. Ed fuckin’ McMahon, the guy who used to give away million-dollar checks, that guy, (hiccup), that guy is fighting foreclosure. Even Evander Holyfield is about to lose his house. What hope do the rest of us have? Huh? Hey, (hiccup), (burp), who’s paying for this?
BEST PLACE TO MAKE OUT WITH STRANGERS Purdy Lounge 1811 Purdy Ave., Miami Beach 305-531-4622 www.purdylounge.com We’re not just looking for one more reason to plug the coolest club in Miami Beach. Locals (and some savvy tourists) mingle in this after-hours joint where, at any point in the night, half of the crowd is drunk and the other half is getting drunker. The relaxed atmosphere, smooth sounds, dancing bodies and cheap beer put you on such an unabashed high that the next person who spills his/her drink all over you just might look like the sparkly unicorn you always dreamed of. If he or she feels the same way about you, you’re in for a few hours of no-need-for-protection fun! Just be sure to hold onto your digits until you can get them to the closest street lamp — there is a possibility that what appeared to be a unicorn turned into a nag.
BEST BAR YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO Abraxas Lounge 407 Meridian Ave., Miami Beach 305-534-9005 Formerly known as Extreme, this tiny hole-in-the-wall just off the beaten path on Fourth and Meridian exudes a level of New York jazzy cool that just screams for another round. Comfy sofas, local faces and hipsters abound at this particular watering whole. So, why haven’t you ever been there? The answer has to do with the typical Miami Beach red tape. Every time the place gets a swingin’ party going, code compliance officers shut it down. Smack dab in the middle of a residential area, it’s hard to know what irks the neighbors more — the DJ pumping music inside or the throngs of inebriated patrons chatting on the patio till all hours of the morning.
BEST BEER BARGAIN Zeke’s Roadhouse 625 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach 305-672-3118 OK, beer fans. There’s really not much we can say about Zeke’s that will do our favorite bar justice. We could tell you Zeke’s serves more than 100 brands of beer — from small-town microbrews to the most obscure imports — for a flat rate of only $3 each. We could point out that the place has become an institution, attracting locals, politicos and minor celebs. Or we could note that, under owner Thelma Deutsch’s watchful eye, the place has become one of the coolest places to grab a beer and people-watch on Lincoln Road. But instead, we’ll just say you’ve gotta experience Zeke’s for yourself. Skip the pretentious, overpriced happy-hour haunts so common in South Florida and go to Zeke’s. Get there early. Grab a table. Meet some new people. But if you’re underage, don’t bother. This joint is for adults only, and they check IDs every time you order, even if they know you. Seriously. But come back when you’re legal — it’ll be well worth the wait. Oh, and be sure to bring cash. Credit cards are not accepted.
BEST HIDDEN BAR The Abbey 1115 16th St., Miami Beach 305-538-8110 www.abbeybrewingcompany.com Since 1995, The Abbey has been both the best-kept local secret and the best place to get home-brewed beer in Miami-Dade. Hardly noticeable from the street and way off the beaten track, The Abbey is primarily a local’s haunt for those who like their beer tasty and strong. With four handcrafted beers available on tap and a host of other quality European beers offered, there’s always something here for the true beer aficionado to wet the whistle with. Smokers are welcome (they sell cigars), the atmosphere is cordial and the staff is always friendly. Furthermore, they make excellent pub food to soak up all that delicious beer. So, see you there for a pint and a game of darts.
BEST PUNK ROCK VENUE Churchill’s Pub 5501 N.E. Second Ave., Miami 305-757-1807 www.churchillspub.com When one thinks of Sir Winston Churchill, images of cigars, victory signs and steadfast resolve in the face of overwhelming odds may come to mind. However, the country that brought us that model of old-school class also managed to produce The Sex Pistols, The Clash and The Exploited. So, maybe it isn’t so crazy to find punks and the former prime minister sharing the same little pub in Little Haiti. Churchill’s is a great venue for all things punk and avant-garde; there is an inexpensive bar, a great stage for live bands and plenty of room to slam other alternative types in the mosh pit. The atmosphere is easygoing to say the least, and if you’re not afraid of a little grime, this bar is also great for watching soccer, rugby and other weird games played by limeys, while eating that great British culinary delight — the pub curry.
BEST LIVE MUSIC Tobacco Road 626 S. Miami Ave., Miami 305-374-1198 www.tobacco-road.com When the London Olympics are held in 2012, Tobacco Road will be celebrating its 100th birthday. The oldest bar and restaurant (and once cabaret) in Miami has survived Prohibition, hurricanes and the South Beach competition, remaining a mainstay of Miami life for a lot longer than the average Miamian’s family has lived in the state. As a music venue, performers from the legendary John Lee Hooker to local favorites Suénalo and the Spam AllStars (who recently performed to thousands at a rally for Barack Obama) have graced its outdoor stage. The award-winning bar food is always a treat, and there is an amazingly good value special available most weeknights. Of course, it’s also a wonderful place to go and get hammered till 5 a.m.
BEST MICROBREWERY Titanic Restaurant & Brewery 5813 Ponce de Leon Blvd., Coral Gables 305-667-2537 www.titanicbrewery.com After a day packed with finals, UM students usually take a walk down to Titanic to celebrate and inebriate. Right next to the university’s baseball stadium, the brewery is practically an unofficial part of campus, yet it’s never really too packed, even during the school year. While the biggest draws for beer connoisseurs are the six home-brewed flavors on tap, the low-priced food is fairly impressive in its own right. The only time things do get crowded are on Sundays for weekly karaoke nights and Wednesdays for the blues jams.
BEST IRISH PUBThe Playwright Irish Pub and Restaurant 1265 Washington Ave., Miami Beach 305-534-0667 www.playwrightirishpub.com Since 2000, traditional Irish fun, drinks and food have been exactly what patrons have found at The Playwright on Washington Avenue. The pub certainly looks the part, with an interior inspired by pubs in the owners’ native Ireland. An eclectic menu offers appetizers ranging from jumbo coconut shrimp to Irish smoked salmon to calamari and hot peppers. Soups, salads and sandwiches — notably the cheddar cheese and sautéed onions accentuating The Playwright burger — are varied and good, and Irish favorites such as Guinness beef stew and corned beef and cabbage intrigue as house specialties. Of course, the Playwright features a terrific array of draft and bottled beers from Ireland and around the world, and the pub throws the best damn St. Patrick’s Day bash in town.
BEST LATE-NIGHT HAUNT The Room 100 Collins Ave., Miami Beach 305-531-6061 www.theroommiamibeach.com No matter the day of the week, if it’s past 3:30 a.m., you’d better believe this place will be kicking. A favorite of the South of Fifth crowd and hipsters alike, The Room features beers from across the globe and a dark yet inviting atmosphere in which to drink them. On any given night, you’ll probably know someone there to chat up; if not, no problem. The place is so tiny that you’ll soon find yourself engulfed in conversation with your new best friend for drinking purposes.
BEST FRIDAY-AFTER-WORK HANGOUT Segafredo Café 1040 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach 305-673-0047 www.segafredocafe.com Right around the end of the business week, this place starts to fill up with a myriad of sexy locals looking to wash away their career stress with pleasant company and stiff drinks. What makes Segafredo the unequivocal hands-down destination is its convenient location. People from all over South Beach make their way to the big red sofas. This affords you the opportunity to invite passersby to join the mix. Like a siren calling the weary sailor, this place beckons all who look to commune and drink while perhaps planning out the rest of the weekend’s debauchery.
BEST NIGHT TO GO OUT ON THE BEACH Tuesday Forget Beach weekends (if you haven’t already), ’cause they’re for amateurs. See, real residents know that the best night to Beach is Tuesday, when Tommy Pooch and Alan Roth host at the Delano and Favela Chic goes off at Mokaï. Yes, models and bottles are in full effect, but on this night, they both just add to a roar that includes A-list celebrities, in-the-know New Yorkers and enough local scenesters to make you feel as if the Beach never went bad, yet still stayed bad to the bone. Like the Strip that once was, on Tuesday, anything goes, just so long as you’re with-it enough to get it — and to get in.
BEST PLACE TO GO COUGAR HUNTING Tuesday Nights at The Delano 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach 305-672-2000 www.delano-hotel.com Had Ashton Kutcher failed in wooing Demi Moore, there’s little doubt he would be spending some time at this South Beach standard. Every Tuesday night, TAI Entertainment throws a celeb-studded dinner party that sees all manner of Botox and collagen creep out of the woodwork for a chance at a sexually liberated May-December tryst. Though it’s true the party attracts local kittens and cougars alike, there can be no denying the plethora of, uh, experience around the dinner tables. It’s enough to make a young man feel like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate, or if you’re too young to remember that film, young cougar hunter, think of Rumor Has It.
BEST PLACE TO PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR RokBar 1905 Collins Ave., Miami Beach 305-674-4397 www.rokbarmiami.com
When you get that
irrepressible urge to dance on furniture and play air guitar till the
early morning hours, there can be no better destination than RokBar on a
Thursday or Friday night. There’s something to be said about a place that
uses guitar picks as drink tickets. And with such creative personalities
as Sebastian Puga and Josh Menendez behind the scenes, the place is
seriously kicking these days. There’s a retractable stage for live bands
and a live visual music experience programmed by Graham Wheeler, Rokbar’s
resident VJ. To date, the place has entertained a host of celebrities and
rock stars, including Tommy Lee, Maroon 5, Lance Bass, Bijou Phillips,
Kristin Cavallari, Danny Masterson, Cisco Adler, and Hillary and Hailey
Duff. BEST NEW BEACH HANGOUT Bella Rose 423 16th St., Miami Beach 305-673-8634 Forget who Keith P.’s brother is, and forget too the fact that his partner Alfred Spellman co-produced Cocaine Cowboys; instead, revel in the retrofit feel of the joint, which evokes the kinda bygone time when whispers rather than screams made right the night. It’s a feel that harkens back to an era long before models and bottles became the norm on South Beach, and an evocation that’s utterly reverent. That’s not to say there aren’t a lotta long and leggy dames hanging about, mind you, or that copious amounts of liquor aren’t being consumed. It’s just to say Bella Rose puts a premium on being a place for people who know that cool can’t be bought — at any price.
BEST PLACE TO HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT Gemma Lounge 529 Lincoln Road, second floor, Miami Beach 305-534-3662 Slipping upstairs to the cool, quiet confines of Gemma Lounge, one might be tempted to forget that Lincoln Road ever lost its luster. In fact, this joint has a luster that the Road hasn’t had since its original heyday, if even then. Boasting the only balcony set smack-dab over the masses, a door policy that counts you in or not in, and proprietors who never forget either your name or where they came from, Gemma’s not just the next best thing to a private club, it’s better — much, much better. But let’s just keep it between us, OK?
BEST MAINLAND CLUB White Room 1306 N. Miami Ave., Miami 305-995-5050 Set in between Park West and Wynwood, in that no-man’s land north of downtown, White Room not only represents what’s real about nightclubbing — it is the real thing in nightclubs. We mean hip without second-guessing, happening without pretense and hot without losing its cool. Sure, Saturday night’s Poplife brings out the hippest and most happening of the indie-glam scenesters, but other evenings can be equally sweltering, be they a knock-down drag-out edition of Style Wars (which set the stage for the place) or a full-on assault from Fool’s Gold (which rocked this year’s Winter Music Conference). Maybe it’s ’cause co-owners Luis Fonseca and Rene Rigau are such swinging cats, or maybe it’s because Miami requires the right kinda swing set — whatever it is, this is it. No bullshit.
BEST INDIE GLAM MASH-UP Poplife at White Room 1306 N. Miami Ave., Miami 305-995-5050 With Induce, Matt Cash and co-head honcho Aramis Lorie all on the decks, the sounds are head-spinningly with-it, even when they blast the classic past. But what really sets apart this wild night out (every Saturday at 10 p.m.) is the collision of keen and cool. We mean indie kittens and cats who not just do stuff, but look good doing the stuff they do. And if up-and-coming stars of Miami’s art, music, media and film worlds aren’t enough to get you going, bona fide world-class faces like Moby, Arthur Baker and Calvin Harris have all gotten real gone there too. So be keen, and get cool.
BEST ANTICIPATED CLUB OPENING Aero Bar 247 23rd St., Miami Beach 305-674-1110 www.aerobarmiami.com Like all good things that come to those who wait, Aero Bar made us wait. Originally slated to open its doors for Winter Music Conference in March, the club was nowhere near completion and was forced, like so many others before it, to postpone opening night until construction was completed. That didn’t happen till early June. Even though the opening weekend was an unabashed success in terms of attendance and enthusiasm, not to mention Cedric Gervais’ birthday celebration for which all local celebrities came out of the woodwork, it’s rumored the club got at least 14 citations for code violations on opening night.
BEST ANTICIPATED CLUB CLOSING Karu&Y Twenty-five-million dollars doesn’t make a bit a difference if you’re smack-dab in the middle of the ’hood. Is it really a surprise that this über-expensive hot spot, whose managers were even assaulted as they left work, is now a part of the clubland history books? Its ominous location — at the edge of Overtown, where shady kids strolled and rolled on bicycles down dark, dead-end streets at all hours of the night, instilling fear in the club’s ritzy clientele — just wasn’t conducive to a successful business. In retrospect, owner Elliott Monter admits he made a lot of mistakes. Out-of-control costs, the bad neighborhood and poor management have all been blamed for the club’s ultimate demise. The space is currently for sale. Asking price? A bargain $6 million.
BEST PLACE TO RUB SHOULDERS WITH CELEBS Michael’s Genuine Food & Drink 130 N.E. 40th St., Miami 305-573-5550 www.michaelsgenuine.com Like at The Ivy in Hollywood, paparazzi camp outside this Design District eatery for days on end. The reason it’s a favorite of tabloids everywhere might have something to do with its being the site of Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson’s short-lived reconciliation and his subsequent relapse into alcoholism. After that, the celebs started pouring in. It was only a matter of time before Jennifer Aniston made it her favorite place to lunch. It was also the first public sighting of John Mayer and Aniston on a date.
BEST WEEKLY PARTY Favela Chic at Mokaï 235 23rd St., Miami Beach 305-695-0288, 305-531-4166
Synonymous with an
exclusive A-list clientele of local hipsters, trendsetters and
celebrities, Mokaï’s Favela Chic is without a doubt the place to be
Tuesday nights. The party, a Brazilian-themed bash playing on the term
ghetto chic (a favela is a Brazilian ghetto), is where the
in-the-know locals go to rub elbows with celebrities like Brett Ratner,
Owen Wilson or maybe just Mickey Rourke. Still, if you’re of the mindset
that the celebs reign supreme here, think again. This party is the
pinnacle of the nightlife landscape not solely due to star power, but also
because of the sheer number and quality of local social powerbrokers and
the people they know. It’s aptly analogous to being South
Beach’s party next door. Simply put, true to South Beach style, this party
is all about models and bottles and those privileged enough to partake in
both. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that its DJ, Ross One, is also this year’s
winner for Best DJ.
BEST PARTY TITLE Fuck Me, I’m Famous. What more can we say?
BEST OVER-THE-TOP PARTY Michael Capponi’s Birthday Party We reluctantly award this category once again to Michael Capponi. We wanted to give someone else a chance to reign supreme as the party king or queen, but it seems Mr. Capponi will not be outdone. Why else would he hold an aviator-themed party at the Opa-locka Executive Airport, bus people in from the Beach and have a VIP section inside an airplane from yesteryear. If expecting people to fly in and party on private jets while dressed up in anachronistic garb is not the definition of an over-the-top party, we don’t know what is.
BEST NIGHTLIFE DRAMA Mansion We couldn’t decide which was the bigger drama this year: an unscrupulous party promoter having unprotected sex with young women while knowing he had HIV, or Sean Sweeney, Trevor Costello and John Merryman getting the living shit kicked out of them on tape by bouncers in a back room somewhere. Luckily, we didn’t have to choose because both dramas were set at the same place — the Opium Group’s Mansion nightclub. Though the Opium Group denies he was an employee, promoter Elidor Kersaint listed Opium Group venues on his MySpace page as places he promoted for. Both Kersaint and the bouncers were arrested, thus ending their malfeasance for the time being.
BEST SOURCE OF SOFT-CORE PORNOGRAPHY Buck 15 707 Lincoln Lane, above Miss Yip, Miami Beach 305-534-5488 www.buck15.com Time and time again on a Friday or Saturday night, we have witnessed patrons at this establishment adjourn to a quiet corner to indulge in the sweet machinations of love with whatever beautiful stranger would have them. There’s just something about the inviting couches that lends itself to these NC-17-rated festivities. Perhaps it’s the steady backbeat of rock ’n’ roll grooves pumping through the speakers, or maybe it’s the high-energy musical selections of DJ Ryan Evans and DJ Foxx. Of course, it could always just be the booze that strips away all inhibitions and promotes all sorts of exhibitions, if you catch our meaning.
BEST PROMOTER Pico Like every superstar before him whose greatness is defined by a single name (think Prince or Madonna), Pico, or the Champagne Kid as some call him, has quickly risen to fame behind the velvet ropes. With parties at Mokaï on Tuesdays, B.E.D. on Saturdays and a host of other venues, his bashes have become synonymous with beautiful ladies and a hell of a good time. People love him, girls adore him and if you’re nice to him, he just might get you in and hook you up with some drink tickets.
BEST DJ DJ Ross One He doesn’t take requests, but he’s spun records for President Bill Clinton and Britney Spears, and every Tuesday he’s behind the decks at the most exclusive party in Miami — Mokaï’s Favela Chic. Ross One is a Skam Artist whose turntable antics are known from Miami to Vegas and points in between. He’s probably the reason you didn’t make it to work on Wednesday morning, and more importantly, he is hands-down the baddest fucking DJ in town.
BEST NIGHTLIFE COUPLE Tommy and Michelle Pooch She’s gorgeous, half his age and has a thing for dancing on furniture. He’s a party promoter-turned-publisher who is always thinking of the next big idea that will hopefully land him a house on Star Island one day. Is it any wonder it was love at first sight? On any given Tuesday night, you can find the Pooches at The Delano sitting at their table having dinner, shaking hands and kissing cheeks. Still, popping bottles and living the impresario dream is just half this act. When they’re not spending time with their baby daughter, Bella, this dynamic husband-and-wife duo play their part in a bevy of altruistic and philanthropic events. There are fashion shows and poker nights and auctions galore, but these two do it all while looking absolutely fabulous, and for that they take this humble recognition.
BEST DOORMAN Ari Kaplan B.E.D., 929 Washington Ave., Miami Beach 305-532-9070 With his long flowing hair, dashing good looks and impeccable fashion sense, this guy rules the velvet ropes outside of club B.E.D with an iron hand. If your plan is to slip by him unnoticed — think again. Kaplan knows every face that walks in, as well as every trick in the book. With an even hand and a cool demeanor, he is the gatekeeper to the night and he holds all the cards, not to mention drink tickets and comps for those worthy enough, and smart enough to acknowledge his absolute door power. So, be nice to him and respect his authority and you just might get past him and into one hell of night. Disrespect him and you’ll find yourself perpetually waiting outside.
BEST REASON TO GO GAY Dustin Refka Drag queens love him and men adore him. Those are most likely the reasons why this mastermind behind the hugely successful Click party at dek23 and the new Hot Mess soiree at club B.E.D is the go-to guy if you’re questioning your sexuality. He brings in the fiercest DJs, and members of his clique include the irrepressible Alan T and drag queens such as Adora. His parties are more akin to a theater production, and Refka seems to have taken over where long-running circuit parties like Back Door Bamby left off. Refka has turned up the male-on-male machinations of love and everything seems just a bit more risqué. Still, gay or straight, it's always a gay ole time at any of his bashes.
BEST REASON TO GET IN BETWEEN THE SHEETS Lee Lyon and Lance Tinkler In less than a year, these two 20-somethings have managed to revive B.E.D. nightclub into a serious contender on the nightlife landscape. With near-capacity crowds and the longest-running hip-hop party on South Beach, not to mention celeb sightings that include the likes of Scott Storch, Timbaland and Busta Rhymes, Lyon and Tinkler have a shot at becoming local celebrities, and we couldn’t think of two better people to slip in between the sheets with.
BEST WMC PERFORMANCE Rabbit in the Moon If we told you that we saw a giant Bunny inside a plastic bouncing ball rolling around atop a sea of people while flames and glowsticks rained down upon us, you would probably say we had ingested one too many hallucinogens. Well, that’s exactly what happened at this year’s Winter Music Conference when Rabbit in the Moon took to their stage, aptly titled The Rabbit Hole. During the Ultra Music Festival, Bunny, front man for the electronic music group, provided the, uh, ecstatic crowd with cool visuals, ranging from seductive flame dancers to a life-sized beach ball with him inside that got passed around more times than the obligatory reefer at a music festival.
BEST PLACE TO SEE NAKED WOMEN Any Industry Party During the Exxxotica Convention If you’ve ever been to the Miami Beach Convention Center during the Exxxotica Convention, you no doubt were as perplexed as we were. We were under the impression that this was a porno convention. But we couldn’t find any naked men and women, German shiza videos or people getting peed on. There was barely a nip-slip in the house. Well, even though you’d be hard-pressed to get that kind of hardcore action in public, after the sun sets these girls do go wild. Though all of the parties are good, we have to give a special money shout out to the Bliss party. Hedonism never looks or feels as good as it does wherever this invite-only event holds court.
BEST CLUB BATHROOM FOR DOING DRUGS The Room 100 Collins Ave., Miami Beach 305-531-6061 www.theroommiamibeach.com Need to powder your nose? At this late-night haunt, it’s one whack, two whacks, three whacks, yeah! Check the bag and hit the blow to your heart’s content. In this bathroom, your bad habits and wired ways are nobody’s business but your own, and possibly the chick you snuck into the one-person room with. Still, it seems everyone here minds his/her own business when it comes to disappearing into the bathroom with someone for illicit purposes. So take a couple of whacks, check the bag, take another whack, check your nose, whatever. You have plenty of time, and there’s no bathroom attendant or security guard to judge you. |
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